For most couples, an urge to sleep with someone outside the relationship spells nothing but doom.
But is that really a bad thing?
Well, truthfully, we’re all unique and every relationship in the world, as perfect as it may seem on the outside, is still riddled with secrets and fetishes.
[Read: Top 50 kinky fetishes couples indulge in]
What you may consider immoral could seem tame to someone else.
So for starters, don’t be judgmental.
As long as any desire doesn’t hurt your partner or affect them negatively, everything is just perfect in a relationship.
If your wife wants to sleep with another man, would you be fine with that?
Are you considering the options or wondering about the repercussions?
Sleeping with someone outside the relationship
Contrary to popular belief, the urge to have sex with another person doesn’t always arise out of dissatisfaction and mistrust, but instead it arises out of trust and complete understanding of each other’s needs, romantically and sexually.
Would you prefer a wife who would have an affair with another man behind your back or a wife who would tell you that her sexual desires feel incomplete? [Read: How to build trust in a relationship]
Well, what’s the difference, you say? True, at the end of the day, your wife is having sex with another man in either case, whether she cheats on you or indulges in it with your consent. But when trust comes into the picture, it’s a whole different story.
Is it acceptable for your wife to sleep with another man?
Let’s face it. All of us have sexual desires. And at times, we’re all going to get bored of seeing the same package in bed all the time, even if it’s the sexiest thing in the world. Humans, by nature, love variety.
The urge to sleep with someone outside the relationship is even more desirable for school or college sweethearts who have been together since college and haven’t really had sex with too many people other than their own partners. It’s a temptation that would always gnaw you from the inside.
Deep inside, if any sexually active person says they can’t think of anyone other than their own lover in bed or can’t fantasize about anyone else, all of us know they’re just lying. [Read: How to fantasize about someone else with your lover]
So coming to think of it, if both partners love each other and understand each other’s sexual demands, is it really so bad to involve someone else in bed?
Are you ready to let your wife have sex with someone else?
Sleeping with another person outside the relationship isn’t all cute and sexy. It’s actually one of the most dangerous things to do in a relationship. Here are a few questions to think about that can tell you if you’re ready for it.
#1 Why does your wife want to do it really? Have a frank conversation with your wife. Why does she want to have sex with another man? Are you satisfied with her answer? [Read: Things to talk about in a perfect relationship]
#2 Are you spicing up both your sex lives or is this an easy affair? Sometimes, a bad lover could use an excuse like this to have an affair right under your nose. Do you know the guy your wife wants to have sex with? Does it sound like an affair in the making here? It’s always preferable to use a guy you meet on a vacation instead of a friendly neighbor.
#3 How’s your relationship? Are you happy and completely in love with each other? Is this a sexual fantasy that both of you have had? If you think your wife is too sexy to be enjoyed just by you and have a secret fantasy to watch your wife getting creamed by another man, well, you’re definitely not alone.
[Read: Top 10 female fantasies and top 10 male fantasies]
#4 Are both of you ready for the consequences? As scary as it sounds, letting your wife sleep with another man can be a lot of fun only if both of you have set firm ground rules and have spoken to each other about every nagging doubt. If you’re faced with an awkward situation the next morning and you can’t look into each other’s eyes, you’ve obvious gone wrong with the ground rules.
Testing your relationship survival skills – The big test
Can your relationship survive another man in bed? Well, here is a cleaner way to test the waters and see if you’re both ready. [Read: How to have a perfect threesome]
Don’t let your wife walk away into another man’s arms just yet. Almost always, a fantasy in your head always feels sexier than real life. Try these tests in real life first.
Test #1 Have webcam sex. Have you ever had sex while streaming it via a webcam? Meet a random couple online or log onto an adult webcam site like Chatroulette *above 18 area* and see if both of you enjoy having sex while being watched? Does it freak you out knowing that someone else is seeing you and your partner in the nude and probably whacking off too? Just a note of caution here, don’t show off your faces while chatting via a webcam.
Test #2 Have sex with another couple in bed. Invite a sexually exciting and fun couple into your home for a stay over and get drunk together. Lead the games to bed so that both couples end up having sex in the same bed.
Test #3 Gift your wife a massage on a vacation. And we don’t mean just any massage, gift her a full body massage with a male masseur and a happy ending. [Read: Happy ending massage confession]
Test #4 Let your wife party on her own. Let your wife go out with her own friends and even hook up with a few guys and make out with them. And ask her to share the stories of lusty events at the nightclub with you.
Results to the test – So how did you fare?
# How do you feel? During each of the tests, how did you feel about it? Did it sexually excite you and make your hornier? Or were you just upset?
# Can you handle it? Could you watch your wife with another man without feeling insecure or jealous? Or were you just happy to see your wife having fun?
# Does your wife like it? Now this matters too. Did your wife enjoy the experiences?
# Are you angry? Does watching your woman with someone else bother you, or does it give you a new sexual surge in your libido?
Playing safe while sleeping with someone else
If you’re both happy to have indulged in the sexual experiences mentioned here, you’re probably ready for more. But just to ensure that you’re not jeopardizing your relationship on shaky grounds, take it one notch higher without sending your wife away on a vacation with another man just yet.
Try swapping or swinging. [Read: How to start swinging with your partner]
It’s easier and safer, and as both of you would still be next to each other, either of you can back away when things get awkward.
Just to make things even, if your wife wants to sleep with another man, by swinging first, you get to sleep with another woman too. By doing this, your wife can understand what exactly you’d feel if she were to sleep with another man. Swapping partners can help both of you understand the feelings and emotions involved on equal grounds without being unfairly judgmental.
Four things to watch out for after your wife has sex with another man
If both of you think you’re ready to explore the horizons of sex by sleeping with other people, here are a few things to watch out for, the morning after.
#1 Second thoughts. You may have second thoughts about the whole arrangement. Or you may even regret it if both of you weren’t entirely ready to bring the sexual fantasy to real life. [Read: How to talk dirty in bed]
#2 Panic and anxiety. Ever watched the move, Indecent Proposal? Well, that’s panic attack for you if both of you aren’t sure of what either of you want.
#3 Fear of losing each other. Would you feel insecure if your wife has explosive sex with another man? Would you be more afraid if the guy is a friend?
#4 Anger at your wife’s wants. Would you look at it as a sexual high like never before or would you just blame your wife for wanting to be a whore after it’s all done?
What happens next?
Well, both of you could enjoy it.
Or it could spell disaster.
Having sex with someone outside the relationship can be sexy and dandy if it’s done with serious considerations. If not, it may make both of you drift away from each other and into another person’s bed if one of you isn’t happy with the results. It’s all about emotional security and trust. If both of you love each other a lot and don’t mind having sex with others because you genuinely want your partner to enjoy great sex and fulfill their sexual desires, it’s never a bad thing as long as that’s what both of you want. [Read: 25 relationship rules to have a successful romance]
And if you do see your partner orgasming better or having a better time with someone else in bed, you have to realize that it’s the sexual fantasy that’s more of a turn on than the guy she’s having sex with.
If you or your wife wants to have sex with someone else, you’re not a mentally disturbed deviant. Some couples like the idea while some couples don’t. To each their own. [Read: Understanding love and lust in a promiscuous world]
So if you don’t like it, stay away from it instead of ruining your relationship. And if you do want your wife to sleep with another man, go right ahead but only after you’ve given careful considerations of the things mentioned here, and you’ll truly be ready for that next step. [Read: 7 sexiest types of sex you can ever have!]
So does your wife want to have sex with another man? Well, sit down with your partner and give these questions and tests a serious consideration. And if you’re ready, go on and explore your sexual desires.
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