How to Stroke the Male Ego & Uncover His Alpha Side When He’s Down

If you want to learn how to stroke the male ego, the good news is that it’s probably far easier than you might think.

How to Stroke the Male Ego

Ah, the famous male ego. Easily damaged, yet extremely powerful, learning how to stroke the male ego will put you in control, even if he thinks he’s the one pulling all the relationship strings!

Of course, in a healthy relationship, there is no space for ego. In this case I’m not talking about an inflated sense of self or having a head so big it won’t fit through the door. I’m talking about the male ego; the need to feel like they’re making you happy. They want to feel like they’re protecting you and being the alpha male character.

Whether you want him to actually be an alpha male or not, the male ego has a need to think that way. So, if you want your relationship to flourish and for your guy to feel like a king, let’s check out nine easy ways you can learn how to stroke the male ego.

[Read: 25 unique compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget]

How to stroke the male ego with total success!

Learning how to stroke the male ego is about small nods of affirmation and giving him a sense of doing the right thing. It’s not about inflating his ego to the point where he thinks he’s some kind of literal king. It’s a subtle thing. Avoid constantly complimenting your guy and building him up to be on a pedestal above everyone else! Constant compliments also become pretty boring, and they can sound empty after a while.

Instead, look at these subtle yet effective methods.

#1 Tell him he’s great. If you want to learn how to stroke the male ego effectively, tell him how great he is but in an occasional and powerful way. Don’t do it all the time.

There’s no need to tell him that he’s the best at driving, cooking, cleaning, etc. Just every so often, tell him that he’s great, and that he’s an expert at something which is important to him. For instance, if he’s proud of his car and how he drives, you could tell him that you think he’s a great driver and that you always feel safe when you’re in the car with him. [Read: 25 ways to be the best girlfriend and leave him addicted]

#2 Make him think that great ideas are his, even when they’re yours. Again, don’t do this all the time. You need to have credit for good ideas too! When you want him to think that something great is his idea, and get him to be more likely to do it, you’re stroking his ego in a very subtle way.

For instance, if you want to go away for the weekend but you’re not sure if he’s going to go for it, twist it around and say that there’s a show on in such and such a place that he always wanted to see. He will then probably say that you should go together. Boom! You’ve come up with an idea and basically made it seem like it was his. Okay, so it’s manipulative to a degree, but not negatively. And it’s a good way to learn how to stroke the male ego and still get what you want! [Read: 13 proven strategies to manipulate people that actually work]

#3 Tell him that you feel safe around him. A man wants to protect his partner. It’s almost like it’s engrained in his inner psyche. So, telling him that you always feel safe and protected when you’re with him is going to do a lot of ego boosting!

You don’t have to play the weaker one in the relationship to say this or make him feel this way. It’s actually more of a compliment for it to come from a partner who is independent and strong within themselves. In that case, he’s going to really feel like you mean it. Mission accomplished! [Read: 20 adorable ways to sweet-talk a guy and steal his heart]

#4 Build him up in front of your friends. You have to do this in an authentic way, but complimenting him when he’s there and your friends are also in attendance is a great way to make him feel good. It’s almost going to be like the peacock puffing out his feathers!

However, less is more here. Just one compliment with a quick reason why is enough. Don’t go on and on; otherwise, he might feel embarrassed and that will have the opposite effect.

#5 Make him proud of you. This one might seem odd, but a way to learn how to stroke the male ego is to be yourself. Be strong and independent, and basically make him proud to be with you. Most men don’t want to be around partners who are overly needy and who rely upon them for everything. That’s not the type of relationship you want either.

However, being yourself, sticking with your dreams, working hard, and spending time with your friend while prioritizing him too will all work in your favor and in his at the same time. [Read: 17 easy yet powerful ways to be a really good girlfriend to your guy]

#6 Pay enough attention to him. You’re not going to do anything for your guy’s ego if you don’t pay him attention. That doesn’t mean you should drop everything for him when he walks into the room but you should give him the amount of attention he deserves and make sure he feels he’s a priority in your life. By doing that, you’re stroking his ego because he knows he’s doing something right in the relationship.

#7 Show him affection in front of other people, but only if he’s comfortable. This one might not be on the list for your guy, because not everyone enjoys PDAs. However, if your guy isn’t adverse, showing a little affection in front of other people can make him feel on top of the world.

The key word here is ‘little.’ Do not jump on your man in public. It’s frowned upon! Just a small peck on the cheek and a smile, or holding his hand will be enough.

By doing this, you’re showing him that you don’t care who knows you’re together and in love. He’ll feel great! [Read: 15 ways public display of affection can save your relationship]

#8 Be his biggest supporter. In a relationship, you should be your guy’s biggest cheerleader and supporter. By doing that, you’re learning how to stroke the male ego with ease. He’ll be more confident if he knows you’re by his side too. However, if you don’t agree with something he’s doing, it’s up to you to tell him. Be an authentic supporter and not a fake one. [Read: How to make your boyfriend happy over text and make him love you more]

#9 Let him know that you love to be with him. Finally, if you want to make your guy feel great, just tell him that you love to be with him. It’s simple and extremely effective! Whether you realize it or not, every guy is wracked with doubts over whether they’re doing everything right in a relationship.

Are they ‘enough’ for their partner? And they worry that you’re wishing you were with someone else. By telling him that you love being with him, you rid all those worries and boost his self-confidence at the same time.

[Read: Small but powerful gestures that show your love]

Learning how to stroke the male ego isn’t about making him into an overly confident or arrogant person, it’s about having his back and making him feel good.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...
Follow Nicky on