20 Almost-Sure Signs Your Boyfriend is Gay!

You might not want to face up to it, but if you have suspicions then you have to learn the signs your boyfriend is gay or bisexual. It’s for the best!

signs your boyfriend is gay

Are you dating a guy who seems to be leaning off the straight path? Ever wondered if he’s gay? Sometimes, it takes more than several years for a woman to know if the man she’s dating is gay. Yet, at other times, it can be an easy breeze. If you have suspicions then learning the signs your boyfriend is gay will help you to work out what to do next. Or, maybe you need to check out the signs your boyfriend is gay or bisexual instead.

You might ask yourself why do gay men date women in the first place? Really, if a man knows he’s gay, wouldn’t it be better for him to just accept it and avoid dating women in the first place? But, the truth is a little blurrier. Maybe he doesn’t realize his sexuality just yet or maybe he’s not ready to admit it to himself. Of course, that doesn’t help your situation but it’s usually the reason why. [Read: 20 circumstances when a guy you like will never ever like you back]

Instead of just blaming the guy you’re dating, you can blame society too. As a society, we’re still not open enough to accept the fact that a gay guy can be just as perfect a man as any other guy. There is a huge amount of pressure on guys to be a certain way and that can lead them to hide their true selves.

Learn the signs your boyfriend is gay or bisexual and save yourself from future heartache, as well as him. [Read: 6 Things to do when you find out your man is gay]

Signs your boyfriend is gay

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not easy to pick a homosexual man from a group of men. Anyone could be gay, and you might never know it.

But instead of relying on how flashy they dress or how they stretch the words in a conversation, look for other cues. Then you’ll be able to see the obvious signs your boyfriend is gay or bisexual, the signs many people overlook. [Read: How to tell if a guy is gay: 13 Subtle signs to hone your “gaydar”]

1. He isn’t interested in sex with you

Now this is not reason enough, but it’s only the start of many more signs. Sometimes, a man could be in a happy marriage for several years and enjoy a great sex life before he realizes that he’s gay and likes men. Has your man lost his passion for sex even if you try new ways to keep sex exciting? This is one of the signs your boyfriend is gay – possibly.

Is he a wonderful and understanding partner who likes spending time with you, but avoids kissing passionately or breaks away from the kiss within a few seconds? If he’s not interested in other women, there’s a good chance that he likes another guy. [Read: 15 Real reasons why your man doesn’t want to have sex]

2. You often catch him staring at men

You catch him staring at men when he thinks you’re not looking. This would be particularly more obvious on a beach when there are a lot of men in their bare minimum, or while clubbing when he keeps sticking his butt back to graze other men. It might be very subtle but if you see it on the regular, it could be one of the signs your boyfriend is gay or bisexual.

3. He talks dirty – in a specific way

Many of us love talking dirty or thinking dirty in bed. But does your man have a few sexual fantasies that turn him on more than others? Does he like it when you talk about sexual scenarios where he’s sexually involved with other men? Experimentation may sound tempting and exciting, but if a gay fantasy is the only thing that turns him on a lot, you may have to ask him to tell you about his fascination for other men. [Read: How to talk dirty and turn your lover on like no-one else can]

4. He flirts with men

Girls may sweet talk each other. Guys don’t. They never ever do.  Guys don’t compliment other guys. In fact, they don’t even try to be nice to each other. They use straight words and say what they mean, even if it comes out wrong. Only a man who’s sexually interested with another man would try to flirt with another man. So, if your guy is regularly flirting, that could be one of the signs your boyfriend is gay.

5. One of the big signs your boyfriend is gay – he likes butt play

Now, not all guys who like a little butt play are gay. But, a guy who gets excited by homosexuality would definitely like something in the ass when he’s having sex. Does your man enjoy getting penetrated by your dildo more than he likes penetrating you? [Read: 10 Surprising benefits of anal sex you had no idea about]

Guys love penetrating. If a guy enjoys getting penetrated more than penetrating, you might want to start questioning why. Could it be one of the signs your boyfriend is gay?

6. Many of his friends live in the closet

Not literally, of course. But, if a man has a lot of friends who are closet gays, there’s a good chance that he too may be one. We’ve all heard that line, birds of the same feather flock together, and that adage has almost always held true.

7. He enjoys the attention of other men more than women

Does your man enjoy watching other semi-clad men when he gets the chance? Or do you catch him “accidentally” flashing a guy, be it on a vacation or somewhere else? Straight guys may like attention, but only if from the opposite sex. If he likes the attention of other men far more than women, that’s a clear sign that he may be gay or bisexual [Read: Flashing confessions of guys and girls]

8. One of the big signs your boyfriend is gay – he enjoys gay porn

Whether they admit it or not, some straight guys watch gay porn now and then too. Curiosity is watching one or two gay action videos now and then. Sexual pleasure is when a guy watches more than ten gay porn movies in a row. If your guy enjoys gay porn and he watches it pretty regularly, that’s a sign to be very aware of. In fact, it’s probably one of the strongest signs your boyfriend is gay and probably doesn’t want to admit it to himself. [Read: How to know if you are gay: All the signs you can’t ignore]

9. He gifts his male friends a lot

He buys expensive gifts for a few of his guy friends. You may assume it’s because of the bond they share, but if he’s constantly buying little luxuries for a good looking cute male friend, chances are, your man is hitting on him. After all, homosexual men have to woo their lovers too.

10. There are a lot of secret conversations going on

Have you ever felt like you just missed something when your man’s hanging out with another man around you? Do you find your man indulging in suspicious non-verbal communication with his male friends, perhaps a lingering gaze, a touch that lasts way longer than necessary, or a man to man hug that just feels weird? [Read: What is flirting? The science behind this common act]

11. He doesn’t talk about other gay men

Now there are two kind of gay men. Some men go to great lengths to talk about how normal it is to be gay. And other men get snappy and rude when you talk about homosexuality. It’s a reflex action thing. Intense emotions always bring out intense expressions.

12. He crashes at a friend’s place often

It’s easier for a man to have an affair with another man than to have an affair with a woman. Nobody ever thinks it’s weird for two men to sleep in the same room. But does your man spend a lot of time with a particular friend? [Read: Real signs your man is cheating on you]

If your man likes hanging out with a friend several weekends in a year, and you can’t recollect this friend ever dating any girl, it’s definitely alright to get suspicious.

Some guys find it easier to use the excuse of fishing trips and hiking weekends to enjoy a good man to man weekend. And some other guys go out of town over work to hook up with guys they met online. This doesn’t mean you should be suspicious if your boyfriend crashes at his friends house once in a while, but if it’s regular, it could be a sign. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

13. He’s very touchy feely with another man

This is especially obvious when he’s drunk. When a heterosexual guy’s drunk, he may use this excuse to snuggle up with girls he has a crush on, not with guys. But if a guy’s not straight in his sexual orientation, his will to be subtle about his affection for another man who’s present with both of you may not be strong enough. And he may end up saying or doing something that gives his secret away.

14. You walk in on something you’re not sure about

When you just step into your place and walk in on your man and his friend, do they behave in a weird way like they’re trying to cover something up? They may be planning your secret birthday party. But if you constantly catch them in an awkward moment, it’s time to bring out the nanny cam. [Read: Why do men cheat? The 3 biggest reasons & 27 convincing excuses]

15. Trust your instincts if you notice several signs your boyfriend is gay

This is as simple and easy as it gets. Trust your instincts. Almost always, if you can think it, it has a good chance of being true. But even if you do think it, have a few valid reasons to justify what’s on your mind. Don’t jump to conclusions without proof or justification.

Even if you’re suspicious, here are some signs your guy may not be gay

Sometimes we allow our suspicions to rule our mind. Now, you’ve just read a whole list of signs your boyfriend is gay or bisexual and that might have got your imagination flowing. But, it’s time to keep things in perspective. Just because your boyfriend shows one or two of the signs above occasionally doesn’t mean you have anything to worry about necessarily. Yes, your suspicions may be well placed but perhaps they’re not. Maybe you’re overanalyzing. [Read: Men and the fear of homosexuality]

Here are a few common misconceptions that people often have about gay men. If you notice these, it doesn’t mean that your guy is gay or even bisexual.

1. He wears tight clothes and bold patterns. He’s probably just confident about his appearance.

2. He grooms himself. Just because a guy’s aware of cosmetics and tweezers doesn’t mean he’s gay.

3. He loves girlie things. He may just be fascinated by women. Or, maybe he was raised by several women and the influence has stuck. [Read: Feminine guys: 40 Signs of a man in touch with his softer side]

4. He doesn’t like sports. There are many guys who don’t give a damn about sports.

5. He’s a neat freak. Being a perfectionist or one who likes everything in order doesn’t make him a homosexual man. He may just be more refined and neater than the average guy.

What should you do next?

If you really feel that your boyfriend may be hiding his sexuality, what should you do?

Firstly, don’t go in there all guns blazing wanting to have a strong conversation. You cannot tell him that he’s gay in your eyes. What if he’s not? Perhaps he’s struggling with his sexuality and he isn’t ready for this conversation. [Read: A guide on effective communication in a relationship]

The best advice is to observe, be open to different options and then if you’re pretty sure or your suspicions are strong, sit down and have a gentle conversation. Don’t come straight out with it, but explore the idea with your boyfriend and see how he reacts. Does he seem outright shocked? Or, does he seem tentative.

Tell him that you support him and that you’re there to talk. Then, leave him with it. Let him stew over things and come back to you. Yes, this is going to be hard for you but it’s very possible that your boyfriend isn’t doing any of this to hurt you intentionally and perhaps he’s going through a tough time himself.

Keep yourself busy, focus on you, and draw support from your friends and family.

[Read: 20 Sexually enlightening movies all about sexuality]

If you’ve been wondering about how to tell if a guy is gay, use these 15 signs and if you can strike off more than a handful of these signs, there’s a good chance that there’s something happy and gay in the air.

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Ethan Kent
Ethan Kent lives a semi-nomadic life traveling the world. And in between his pursuits of the elusive ah-ha moments, he loves exploring the minds of men and wome...
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