So, you and your partner want a threesome. Many couples come to this point when they want to unleash their fantasy and actually make it a reality with unicorn dating.
What’s a unicorn in unicorn dating?
For the uninitiated, in the unicorn dating scenario, a unicorn is a person who is interested in getting into bed with two others, most often a couple who have been together for a while and are looking for a third partner to spice up their marriage.
Why a unicorn? Well, finding the perfect threesome partner who would be willing to sleep with the couple with no strings attached, and at the same time, compatible with the couple is hard. And hence, the elusive unicorn!
[Read: The threesome invite – How to ask someone to join you in bed]
Bringing the unicorn to bed!
Of course, unicorn dating may sound hot. But you need to remember that a threesome can either be a hot little fantasy that works well, or it could be a disaster. I’m not trying to scare you from it. You just need to find the right person to have a threesome with, because they can be tricky to actually pull off.
What’s important is you’ve talked to your partner many times, gone through the feelings, and can openly say you want a threesome without any feelings of guilt or insecurity. If you or your partner “aren’t sure”, then don’t rush into unicorn dating to find a threesome buddy. You still have some feelings to work through.
[Read: How to set up your threesome boundaries]
13 ways to find a unicorn through unicorn dating
So, if you want to find your unicorn and not experience a situation that will leave your relationship in an awkward state, here are some helpful tips to follow. They’re not as mystical as you think they are.
[Confession: My first accidental threesome while on holiday]
#1 Talk to your partner… again. You may have brought up the subject, but there wasn’t a complete consensus on whether this would happen. Sit down with your partner a couple of times, and check-in with how they’re feeling. If they’re “not sure,” then don’t push it. You want this threesome to happen when you both know this is something you want. [Read: 12 arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]
#2 What are your boundaries as a couple? Before anything else, you should make sure you sit down with your partner and talk openly about what they do and don’t want. The last thing you want is a poorly planned threesome to destroy your relationship.
If your partner isn’t sure what they want, then take a break from the topic. Let them think about it without any pressure from you.
#3 Take advantage of the internet. Some people may run into a unicorn at the bar, but that’s not so common. So, you need to turn to the internet. Most dating apps make it easy for you to search for an additional person. 3ndr is a dating site specifically for threesomes, and sites like OkCupid and AdultFriendFinder work well too. [Read: The 9 best hookup apps for the hot and horny]
#4 “Sell” yourselves. I don’t mean literally. If you’re going online to find your unicorn, create an engaging profile, just like you would if you were online dating as a single person. Your profile should clearly state what you’re looking for and what turns you both off. Plus, your potential unicorn needs to know you’re respectful, sane, and want safe sex.
#5 Tell your unicorn exactly what you’re looking for. Your unicorn isn’t a mind-reader; in fact, no one is a mind-reader. So, if you want to have a good time, tell your unicorn what you’re looking for. Listen, what you want may not be for them, and that’s okay. But, you cannot surprise them during sex or be upset that they aren’t doing what you want. [Read: 20 things all three of you should know before entering a threesome]
#6 What boundaries does your unicorn have? This threesome isn’t just about you and your partner; it’s also about the unicorn. They have their own boundaries, and they may not align with yours. You don’t want to discover this in the middle of sex. Talk to them about what they’ll do and won’t in the bedroom.
#7 It’s all about organization. You probably see a pattern here, right? When it comes to threesomes, it’s all about organization. Make sure all the bases are covered, and the questions have been answered. I know you probably wanted it to be spontaneous, but if you haven’t done this before, then you need to plan things out. [Read: 10 threesome positions that’ll leave all three of you happy and satisfied]
#8 Go for a drink. Before having the threesome, take your unicorn out for a drink and see how the chemistry is with them. They may not be the right person for you, and that’s okay. It’s better to find this out sooner than later.
Get to know them over drinks and talk about what everyone is looking for. Then sleep on things, and see if this person is the right one for you and your partner. [Read: The threesome invite and how to make it happen]
#9 Value your unicorn. You want to make sure you take good care of your unicorn and give them the pleasure and attention they deserve. Spend time as a couple, giving your unicorn attention and respecting their boundaries. Don’t surprise them with new sexual activities without talking about it before having sex.
#10 Treat them with respect. Okay, we call them ‘unicorns’ but this doesn’t mean they’re an animal. This is another human being, and you need to treat them with respect.
Sure, you’re fascinated with unicorn dating and you’ve wanted a threesome for a while. But this person is someone who has feelings, they’re not an object for you to unleash your fantasies on. [Read: Throuple relationships and rules to know if three of you fall in love]
#11 Stay safe. When you’re adding someone new into your sex life, you need to be smart about it. This means you need to practice safe sex and use a condom. You don’t know your unicorn’s previous sexual history. And you want to make sure you don’t contract any STIs because that’s not something you want to take from the threesome.
#12 Don’t stop communicating. Okay, you’re in the bedroom with your partner and your unicorn, and things are going well. But if you don’t like a position or a certain sexual activity, don’t be ashamed to speak up. Communication is vital if everyone is going to enjoy themselves and their experience. [Read: How to talk about sex without sounding like a pervert]
#13 Enjoy the experience. If you’ve done everything on this list, you’ll have a good time. Of course, don’t overthink things too much, they should happen naturally in the bedroom if there’s good chemistry. All you three need to do, aside from communication, is enjoy yourselves.
[Read: How to have a three way with rules to make it work]
Unicorn dating may take some time, and you might not find your unicorn right away. Use these tips to guide you down the right path.
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