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How to Enjoy Anal Sex: Backdoor Secrets to a Painfree Experience

how to enjoy anal sex

Everyone wants to try out a little backdoor action, but many think anal sex is painful. But it’s time to debunk that myth and learn how to enjoy anal sex.

You may not have even had anal sex yet, but you’re curious to try it. Though your friends have told you that it’s not good, you shouldn’t necessarily listen to them. Their experience was probably on a whim and unprepared. Their experience doesn’t mean you’re going to have the same experience as them, right? So, read on to learn how to enjoy anal sex.

It’s time to explore your sexual boundaries and see what you like and don’t like.

How to enjoy anal sex

For many of us, our experiences with anal sex have left us a little traumatized. We didn’t know what we were doing, didn’t prepare ourselves, nor did we read up about it beforehand. If anything, we assumed anal sex was the same as vaginal sex. In many ways, it is the same, but there are some core components which make it completely different. [Read: 12 painful mistakes you’re probably making with anal sex]

One big difference being that anal sex is with the anus and vaginal sex is… well, you get what I’m trying to say. This difference is actually significant when it comes to how we prepare ourselves and the sex toys we need in the bedroom. Because anal sex is actually fun.

#1 Talk. I know you think it may be weird to talk about anal sex, but if you can’t talk about it with your partner then how can you have it? Instead, sit down with your partner and talk about the things that worry you. Everyone has anxieties about anal sex, and whether or not your partner is experienced in anal sex, talking about it can make the experience more enjoyable for the both of you. [Read: What does anal sex feel like, both physically and mentally?]

#2 Do you know how anal sex works? Listen, it always makes things easier when you understand how they work and the same goes for anal sex. If you want to enjoy it, knowing the basics will help you understand how everything falls into place.

Your anus is a part of your sexual organs and stimulating the anus affects all the genitals whether it’s directly or indirectly.

#3 Lube is essential. The anus is different because it doesn’t self-lubricate. In other words, your anus cannot become wet on its own, and you’re going to need it to get wet. Without lube, there would be no anal sex.

This is probably why your friends dislike anal sex because they probably weren’t well-lubricated which results in pain and discomfort. So, make sure that you have lube in your bedside table if you want to try anal sex. [Read: How to use lubricants to liven up your sex life instantly]

#4 Poop can happen. Some people have had traumatizing experiences with anal sex when it comes to encountering poop. Seeing poop on a penis is not a turn-on, I get it, but it can happen. It’s not abnormal, after all, someone is in your ass. So, to prevent this from happening you can give yourself an enema before having anal sex. This is a saline liquid that you squirt into your anus and it cleans out the area. You can buy it at your local pharmacy, so it’s easy to get. [Read: How to master the rim job and eat ass like a real pro]

#5 Be foreplay heavy. When it comes figuring out how to enjoy anal sex, go heavy on the foreplay. You need your body to relax, that way, it can allow for easier penetration. Try to have foreplay for at least a minimum of twenty minutes before having anal sex. Arousal is key, and trust me, you’ll want your anus to be as relaxed as possible. If not, your bum will close down the hatches. [Read: 17 sexy foreplay moves that’ll make anyone hot and horny]

#6 Get over the negative associations. Here’s the thing, in your head, you’re thinking that it’s going to hurt. Now, if you’re having negative feelings about anal sex, it’s best if you don’t do it. Your mindset is a huge factor when it comes to the experience, and if you’re not positive, your body is going to react and shut itself down. In other words, if you don’t want it, don’t try it.

#7 Try anal after an orgasm. When you orgasm, your body releases dopamine and oxytocin into your bloodstream which means you’re relaxed and happier. AKA, you can handle a penis in your ass. During anal sex, your body needs to be relaxed because your anus will be looser and easier for the penis to enter. Plus, anal sex can also give you an orgasm, so it’s a win-win for everyone. [Read: Anal orgasms and everything to know about it]

#8 Test it out alone. When you’re masturbating, you can try placing a finger in your anus in order to feel the sensation. This can help your body and mind relax to the idea of a penis entering your anus. When you get comfortable with one finger, place another one in there. It’s important that you try these things out on your own. In addition, during regular sex, ask your partner to place a finger in your anus.

#9 You’re going to have to find the position. Though many people try out doggy style for anal sex, it doesn’t mean you’re going to enjoy having anal sex in that position. Everyone is different, so test out which position suits you the best.

For example, many women enjoy anal sex while in woman-on-top position because they have control over the speed and depth. But this is something you’re going to have to experiment with. [Read: 12 anal sex positions that make backdoor fun feel so darn good]

#10 Communication during anal sex. Many people simply keep their feelings to themselves when they’re having sex. However, you need to express your feelings during sex. How else can you improve your anal sex experience?

While you’re having anal sex, it’s important that you tell your partner if you’re experiencing pain or discomfort, that way, they or you can change the position and find the one that suits you.

[Read: The curious guy’s and gal’s guide to first time anal sex]

Figuring out how to enjoy anal sex isn’t actually a myth, it’s the truth. The only reason it’s painful is that you’re leaving out some crucial steps. Now you know them, go make anal sex fun again.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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