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Aphrodisiacs and Food Hell: A Lover’s Guide to Eating Well


Food can be an incredibly important part of the lovemaking process, from the aphrodisiac properties of some, to the downright turn off provided by others.

Lovemaking, sex, if you prefer, is something very few of us would wish to exist without. Not only is it an incredibly potent relaxant, reducing stress levels, promoting feelings of closeness, and providing a healthy and effective form of exercise, but it’s also bloody good fun!

And what we eat can make a huge difference as to whether our lovemaking is a resounding success or an utter and humiliating flop. Two lists have been compiled to put the reader on the right road to food heaven and extra sexual enjoyment. The first of these is a list of aphrodisiacs; those foods that aid us in our sexual activities. The second list is of foods that don’t aid the sexual process and for a whole host of reasons – as you soon shall see.

Food heaven: the aphrodisiacs

#1 Fish. Fish contains the all-important omega-3 oil which, in addition to many other benefits, improves the elasticity of blood vessels and thins the blood. This results in improved blood flow, which is an important constituent in the act of physical arousal.

#2 Fruit. Lots of different fruits have different qualities which aid the lovemaking process. From the general vitamin intake and its contribution to your overall health to such nutrients as zinc which are important in promoting fertility. An added bonus, is how fruit makes you smell and taste good: and, yes, we are referring to your most intimate body parts. [Read: The step-by-step guide to making your vagina smell good and taste even better]

#3 Nuts. Again, the word nut covers a lot of ground with many different contributing nutrients, but, most importantly, it often contains oils which are especially effective in promoting virility.

#4 Chocolate. High cocoa-content chocolate is the best source of phenyl ethylamine, a real powerhouse when it comes to aphrodisiacs. A sensible dose of this food stuff will have your libido shooting through the roof. [Read: 10 sexy benefits of being a chocolate lover]

#5 Oats. Oats stabilize the nervous system which allows your other bodily functions to perform normally and healthily. As a bonus, it also regulates the taste and consistency of seminal fluid.

#6 Oysters. Oysters have an age-old reputation for having aphrodisiac qualities, chiefly a result of the high amount of zinc present; and key in the production of sex hormones. There are other foods found to be higher in zinc, such as certain nuts, but that doesn’t stop oysters from remaining a very popular choice in matters of the bedroom.

#7 Avocado. High levels of vitamin E are present in avocado, which give a quick, sharp boost to energy levels. The benefits of an energy boost before lovemaking should be pretty obvious, but if you need it explained to you; perhaps, you need a slightly more basic guide to sex than this one!

#8 Pine nuts. Another source of zinc, one of the kings of aphrodisiac nutrient, pine nuts are one of the most zinc heavy of foods on this list. They are also easy to grind up and introduce to meals of either sweet or savory varieties. [Read: 10 dishes that’ll get your sex drive to skyrocket in no time]

#9 Chiles. Because of the rather acerbic qualities which chili peppers possess, they stimulate the body’s production of endorphins, the famous *feel good* chemical. Don’t overdo it! Strong chilies have an equal capacity to debilitate when used incorrectly.

#10 Honey. Not a commonly known aphrodisiac, honey is nonetheless a major player in the pursuit of sexual satisfaction. This is mainly due to the presence of boron which regulates hormone levels and also gives the body a much needed energy boost, far more effectively than other sources of sugar.

Food hell: the inhibitors

#11 Coffee. Recent research suggests coffee is actually an aphrodisiac due to its role as a stimulant. However, there is far more research showing it has a detrimental effect on blood pressure and flow – neither of which is of any use to lovemaking.

#12 Alcohol. A little alcohol is a good thing. It helps overcome inhibitions and puts us in the mood for a little sensuality. Too much, makes us tired, sweaty, and downright unattractive – not to mention, in the case of men at least, physically unable to perform. [Read: 10 sober reasons why drunk sex is never a good idea]

#13 Meat. Meat causes lethargy and bloating and dampens the mood. Moreover, greasy or fatty meats can cause residual traces in sweat, making it stain your clothes. Not attractive in any sense.

#14 Beans. “Beans, beans are good for your heart, the more you eat them the more you…” Well, you know the rest. Beans might be a great source of a number of nutrients, but their propensity for producing intestinal gas doesn’t do anyone any favors in the bedroom!

#15 Dairy. Cheese, butter, and milk can cause a feeling of heaviness and a lack of energy, but, most importantly, they make you smell – quite badly. Which doesn’t qualify it as an anti-disiac but does ensure no one wants to come near you!

#16 Soda. Another smell factor nine, refined sugars cause bacteria to breed which in turn can kick up a bit of a stench. One to avoid.

#17 Pasta. Pasta is one of the most commonly consumed sources of simple carbohydrates, along with white rice, and these are downright dampeners between the sheets. Why? Because not only is the energy boost from simple carbs short-lived, but they also produce an insulin surge which makes you bloated and tired.

#18 Popcorn. Referring to the microwave variety only, the plastics which are used to contain the corns contain certain acids which reduce both fertility and virility. Seriously not worth the trade off!

#19 Onions. The reason for this is obvious – they make you stink, and do so for days. Onions are good for your heart, but they won’t do anything for your love life.

#20 Mashed potatoes. Pasta multiplied by ten, mashed potatoes is fantastic if you’re having trouble sleeping, but it is the ultimate passion killer. All those simple carbs combined with all that broken-up starch doesn’t do anything to improve your love life.

[Read: 10 sexy ways to take your sex life from Vanilla to OMFG!]

Try a few of these tips regarding the food listed above to turn your perfunctory and stilted love life into an explosion of sensual excitement.

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David Cullen
David Cullen
David Cullen is frequently described as erudite, insightful and witty – but only by himself and only after several large glasses of Rioja....

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4 thoughts on “Aphrodisiacs and Food Hell: A Lover’s Guide to Eating Well”

  1. burp says:

    I didn’t really care about the foods but all I thought about was Math. I suck at math so badly but he’s great at it. Math and I have always been enemies. He uses it as a distraction to keep from cuming too quickly. Usually he’s very coherent and saying saying dirty things but when he goes quiet, that’s when I know he’s doing mental math. I’m usually on top riding him when this happens so it let’s me know I’m doing a good job so it makes me want to make him lose focus. Trying to trip him up while doing his math is something that turns me on and makes me move quicker. I can’t explain it but the one time he was quiet so I started doing everything I know he likes and moving in ways we don’t do very often. He seemed to start to lose focus so it made me excited and…more energetic. He suddenly grabbed my arms and just bust out shouting equations that I’m not sure were right. He seemed so conflicted with wanting to let himself cum or keep doing math. It made me so hot because I knew I was winning, I was winning over math. He was shouting simple math after I started grinding him “1×1=2, 2×2=4, 3×3=6” and keeps going until all he’s doing is shouting random numbers. Then he stops focusing on anything number related and just fucks me like it’s the most important thing in the world. Not too soon after we finish and I’m so sore and tired that I don’t move for 20 minutes, out of breath and sweaty. We never spoke about it but we both know.

  2. aphro says:

    Oh man. Hot chili peppers just gets me going. I can’t tell you how many times chili has saved my life from the worst dates. I have been dating for over several years now and that’s coming from a guy who has never had ladies before. Chili has always been my go to aphrodisiac.

  3. food says:

    Anticipation is a great aphrodisiac. Put yourself in situations where you know you can’t have sex but you both are aware you want to and the urge will get stronger and stronger. Tell him you’re not wearing any panties before you go out for dinner or shopping. Oops, you just plain forgot! He’ll be thinking about it all night long. Use nonsexual physical contact to heighten the anticipation. Touch his arm or leg during conversation and you’ll increase the feeling of connection. Throw in a little whisper at some point that you’re so wet thinking about not having them on, or thinking about what he could be doing to you, and he’ll be done. Space things out though. Libido can be flighty and like an erection. If it’s not played with, doesn’t always stick around. Just be careful with so-called aphrodisiacs. Many of them are simply considered aphrodisiacs because of their exotic origins. Others, oysters for example, contribute to overall health and as a result, better sex drive. Eating a plate of oysters one time probably isn’t going to give him a table breaking erection. If it does, it’s probably a placebo effect and/or you should call Guinness. Honey’s base as an aphrodisiac comes from the giving of mead to a newlywed couple or from a suitor to his court. I guess nobody really thought, “Hey, alcohol lowers inhibitions…” and just went with honey instead. Ginseng has a stimulant in it like caffeine that is said to increase libido. Damiana has been said to treat a number of issues, from vaginal dryness to depression to bed wetting. It is considered safe to use, but can cause decreased blood sugar levels. It’s also been suggested that spicy foods can work. Many articles attribute this to the sweating and increased heart rate that results from eating spicy food. The truth probably lies more in the way the brain responds to pain and stress with dopamine. It will release it when you are in pain, under stress, when you have sex, even when you eat food. When you eat spicy food, your brain goes “Holy crap! That hurts, but it’s food!” You get an extra dose to deal with the pain and reinforcement for eating food. I don’t think it functions as an aphrodisiac necessarily. However, I can see it enhancing things, especially when you add the chemicals released during sex to the party. Lastly, avoid Spanish Fly, it is literally a poison that irritates the urethra and genital ducts. It can cause scarring, sexual dysfunction, and a whole bunch of other fun things. Same thing with yohimbe. It can cause heart, liver, and kidney disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, and all sorts of other fun stuff. My personal advice, eat healthy, as better heath is what most of the “confirmed” aphrodisiacs lead to. Take a zinc pill if you don’t want to do oysters. That’s the leading benefit to eating them. Hell, just take a multivitamin. Then go out, buy some strawberries, a bottle of merlot, some ladyfingers, and make this. I make it without the pepper. Take your time eating it together, feeding each other with your hands. Then tell him you’re not wearing any underwear…

  4. disqus says:

    MY one bet aphrodisiac would be chocolate. doesn’t matter what type. I get it on every single time!

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