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How to Get in the Mood When Your Libido is Completely Absent

how to get in the mood

We can’t always be in the mood for sex. If you want to know how to get in the mood after a dry spell, these tips can help get you there.

We all go through sex lulls. Sometimes our libidos just don’t seem to want to work right. Your desire for sex is low, even though you’d probably enjoy a good romp in the sheets. Knowing how to get in the mood even when your body isn’t cooperating can help you keep your sex life healthy.

A healthy sex life can do amazing things for a relationship

Sex isn’t the most important part of a healthy relationship but it does play a major role. You bond through sex. You connect through sex. It’s really important to have a healthy sex life if you want a happy relationship.

And that means going through lulls can be bad for your relationship. Obviously, it’s okay to not want sex when you’re both busy and just don’t have the time but if your sex drive is just low, try to get in the mood anyway. Make it happen so you can get back into the swing of things. [Read: 8 common reasons your sex life sucks and how to fix it]

How to get in the mood when you just don’t feel like it

It happens, okay? Your partner is all horny and ready to do you and you’re just not feeling it. There are some ways you can get in the mood or make sure you’re ready to go if you have a romantic night planned.

#1 Firstly, talk to your partner. You really want to make sure you’re communicating with your significant other when your libido has gone kaput. This lets them know you’re not in the mood for sex much but it can also tell them to up their foreplay game a little bit too.

Just make sure they’re aware so it’s not a surprise to them when you have to work a little harder to get you in the mood. Otherwise, they might think they’re the problem and that will do nothing good for your relationship. [Read: 14 steps for better communication in a relationship]

#2 Level out your hormones. Hormones play a huge role in your sex drive. If they’re out of whack, your libido will also be unstable. Exercising and maintaining a diet full of healthy fats is a natural way to level out your hormones.

Birth control is also a great option but certain types can make your libido worst, so just keep that in mind. Dairy and meats highly processed with hormones can also be a problem.

#3 Exercise more. Not only does exercise help regulate hormones, but it also increases your libido. The more you work out, the more you’ll want to have sex. It gets your blood flowing in ALL areas and that’s why it’s a great way to get you in the mood. [Read: 12 benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]

#4 Eat some aphrodisiacs. If you’re trying to figure how to get in the mood, keep an eye on what you eat. There are a lot of foods proven to increase your sex drive. Even though this might be a temporary fix, loading your system with foods that get your genitals warmed up is a great way to get you in the mood.

Things like chocolate, red wine, oysters, bananas, avocados, pomegranates, and even watermelon can leave you feeling horny. The more you eat, the more you’ll want to have sex. [Read: Aphrodisiacs and the lovers’ guide to eating well]

#5 Put on something that makes you feel sexy. Oftentimes, all we really need is a little boost to make us feel sexier. When you slip into something that makes you feel confident and sexy, you’ll want it more. Throw on some lingerie or that outfit you know your partner wants.

#6 Get a new sex toy. If your libido is shot, a sex toy might give you the excitement you need to have sex anyway. It’s the same idea behind buying a new outfit. If you really like it, you’ll be more likely to want to try it out right away.

This can work for your libido too. Order a sex toy and you’ll want to have sex right away just so you can give it a try. Obviously, this is more of a one-time fix but if you have the money to do this more, go for it. [Read: 13 must-have couple’s sex toys for naughty first timers]

#7 Have your partner get you in the mood. Let them take over. Foreplay is a huge part of sex and sometimes you just need to spend more time on it before getting to the main event. Give them the challenge of getting you in the mood.

#8 Build the anticipation all day. Don’t just try to go right into sex when you’re not feeling it. That doesn’t build any excitement. How are you supposed to get in the mood for it this way? Try sexting or getting a little frisky in the morning only to cut it off and tell your significant other you can finish later.

Knowing you have something like that to go home to can keep you in the mood all day. Sexting also gets you in the mood and can build anticipation for the final release when you get home. [Read: 30 hot sexting examples to start a naughty text marathon]

#9 Give each other an oil massage. There’s just something really erotic and sexy about being naked and having your partner rub you down with slick oils. It can definitely get you in the mood just through their touch.

But it’ll also get your sex drive going by reducing stress and reconnecting you with your body. Feeling someone’s touch on you in such a soothing way can make you really horny – especially if they hit all the right spots.

#10 Watch porn or use other visuals. Sometimes your brain just needs to be jump-started into thinking about sex. Porn is a perfect way to do just that. You and your significant other can even have some fun together.

Watch porn with each other and then try to act out all the moves. The visual of people having sex can do a lot to make you horny. That’s why people watch it to masturbate. Give it a shot or use other visuals to get in the mood. [Read: How watching porn might just save your relationship]

#11 Have sex more often. Just forcing yourself to have sex even when you’re not completely in the mood can help. Once you get going, you’ll want it. Sometimes it just takes that little push. And the more you have sex, the more you’ll want it. It’s addicting in that way.

#12 Seek treatment if your libido remains an issue. There are real health issues when it comes to your libido. Your hormone levels could be off and you might want to get things checked out to make sure you’re completely healthy.

If it’s a long-term problem, there are usually underlying issues that could be preventing you from feeling like having sex. Go visit a doctor and see what could be causing it so you can correct it.

[Read: 13 quick tips to get horny fast]

Knowing how to get in the mood when you’re just not feeling it can do amazing things for your sex life. The next time your partner wants to get busy but you’re just not in the mood, try some of these.

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Bella Pope
Bella Pope
Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...

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