Even if a relationship begins well, and stays positive for a long time, that does not necessarily mean that it was meant to last forever. Sometimes, people simply outgrow each other. Personalities can change and develop over time, and this can lead to a loss of compatibility.
This is not a bad thing, it just means that not every relationship is meant to turn into a lifelong marriage.
It is important to be able to tell when your relationship is losing its momentum, so that you can effectively make your next moves. But sometimes, it can be tricky to tell for sure if you are falling out of love or just hitting a bump along the road. [Read: How to know if you’re not in love anymore]
How can you tell if you’re falling out of love?
Luckily, there are some telltale signs that the light of passion and romance has gone out. The following signs let you know if you need to rekindle that flame.
#1 You don’t get excited to see the person anymore. Even if your partner has been gone for a couple of days, there’s no sense of anticipation for the moment when you finally reunite. If you love the person, absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. If you’re completely apathetic about your partner’s return, it probably means that you have lost most, if not all of your passion for this person. [Read: Top 20 reasons for divorce most couples overlook]
#2 You get annoyed by your partner a lot easier. When you are in love, the little annoying things that your partner does tend not to bother you as much. So if you find yourself being more and more annoyed by them, it’s a warning sign that something is going wrong. Most likely, it means that his or her positive aspects have stopped canceling out the negative aspects. When you once thought that their humor was endearing or that their little quirks were cute, you now think they’re extremely irritating.
#3 You aren’t as attracted to the person anymore. It could be because your partner has gotten out of shape or gained a lot of weight. Perhaps your tastes have just changed or your partner underwent an entire overhaul of their entire personal style. Whatever the case may be, a loss of attraction is definitely a warning sign. [Read: How to tell your partner they’re gaining weight]
#4 You suddenly find yourself a lot more interested in other people. If you can’t stop checking out other people wherever you go, it could definitely be because your own partner just isn’t cutting it for you anymore. When you once had eyes only for your partner, you’re now looking at a bunch of other people to give you that spark. It may be time to call it quits, before you start to consider cheating.
#5 You get in a lot of arguments with your partner. If you are arguing all the time with your partner, it may actually mean that there is a deeper problem. It may feel at the moment like you are really just upset that he or she forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. However, if you find that you start to get into little petty fights that blow out of proportion, it could mean that everything your partner does irks you, and this may be because you’re no longer in love.
#6 You have an underlying feeling that something isn’t right. It can be difficult to fully accept it if you are falling out of love. After all, it could mean that a lot of changes are potentially going to come into your life. It could also mean that you may devastate your partner if you tell him or her this information. So, your mind may be trying to push it out of your focus. And as a result, you may just have a general feeling that something is off. If you do, you may want to pay it some attention and try to get to the bottom of it, even if it’s difficult.
#7 You aren’t as happy as you used to be. If your relationship started out really well, then it was probably making you very happy. Sometimes, happiness can act as a barometer for how in love you feel. If you notice that your happiness level is going down, despite the fact that there aren’t any major issues in your relationship, it may be due to the fact that you feel like you’re being tied down to a partner you no longer love. [Read: 10 steps to tell your partner that you’re unhappy]
#8 You find yourself giving a lot more attention to your hobbies. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to spend a ton of time on your hobbies, as it is healthy to have activities that you can do without your partner. But if you are playing World of Warcraft day and night like it’s your job, despite the fact that your partner wants to hang out, it may be time to rethink your relationship. Sometimes, people distract themselves with hobbies in order to avoid dealing with relationship problems.
#9 You and your partner spend a lot more time apart. If you aren’t in love with your partner anymore, you probably won’t feel the desire to be around him or her as much as you once did. The more time you spend apart, and the more comfortable you get with it, the less in love you probably are. [Read: 10 clear but sneaky signs you’re about to get dumped]
#10 You don’t feel an urge to keep yourself attractive for your partner. Keeping yourself in top shape is a great way to help maintain your partner’s interest in you over the long term. And even if you are already in shape, there should still be that desire to dress up and look nice for your partner every once in a while. If you suddenly stop feeling the need to do this, it could be because you no longer care if he or she desires you on a physical level.
#11 You no longer care if he or she flirts with other people. If you are at a party and you see your partner flirting with someone, and it just doesn’t bother you at all, something is probably not right. A little bit of jealousy lets you know that you still value your partner’s attention. Not getting jealous at all when they flirt with someone else means that you’ve stopped caring if someone else snatches your partner away. [Read: Could it just be one of the 9 relationship stages couples go through?]
#12 You stop showing your partner physical affection. It could be as simple as you no longer holding your partner’s hand when you go for a walk together. The less physical affection, the less likely that you love the person. This is not always the case, because some people are not extremely affectionate, and they can still be in love. However, in general, physical affection tends to go hand in hand with love. So once that’s gone, it’s most likely that the love has gone with it.
[Read: The 5 most common reasons you’ve fallen out of love]
Falling out of love can be a sad thing, but it has its upsides. After all, when one door shuts, another one opens. When the love is gone, take the time to reassess your feelings, and find out if there’s still hope for your relationship.
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