All relationships have phases of happiness and ruts, but if you’re asking yourself why something feels off in your relationship, here’s your fix.
No one ever said relationships were easy. To find someone you love and want to share your life with comes with hurdles, compromises, and more. Sometimes doubts and questions, like why something feels off in your relationship.
But, with all of that your relationship should always bring you more happiness than sadness, fear, misery, or anything else.
In those cases, you don’t have to worry. Just talk about it. Let your partner know that something feels off in your relationship and you want to make sure you are both on the same page. A simple talk should get you moving back in the right direction.
As I always say, all relationships are different. The reason your relationship feels off could be totally different to why your best friend’s relationship feels off or your boss’s relationship feels off.
Apart from the minor things that can easily get back on track with open and honest communication, here are some other reasons why something feels off in your relationship.
#1 Your partner has a plan. Right before a big change is coming in your relationship, it is common for things to feel off. Similarly to cold feet before a wedding, something tends to feel off before it feels right.
If your partner is planning to propose or buy you a dog, they may be acting shady and secretive. They may even pull away right before making a big grand gesture. This can be very hard to read and difficult to know. Give that off feeling a little while to settle before acting on it. [Read: Steps to telling your partner you’re unhappy]
#2 Your partner is keeping a secret. A proposal is a pretty great secret. But there are a lot of other secrets your partner could be keeping that aren’t so great. Even without any proof, your gut can feel something is off in your relationship.
I don’t want to scare you but it could be cheating, flirting, addiction, or even plans to move across the country without you. When something feels off in your relationship, it usually is.
#3 You are keeping a secret. Being the person keeping a secret doesn’t make you immune to something feeling off in your relationship. By hiding something small, like a weekend getaway or something big like a job promotion that makes your travel two weekends a month, your relationship can get out of whack really quickly.
#4 You’re not talking. Once you get comfortable in a relationship, it can be easy to settle into a routine. You may go from talking every day and sharing your wants and needs to falling asleep watching the same episode of Game of Thrones every night.
Losing that communication can quickly lead to an off feeling. When you go from sharing your feelings to just staying quiet, you no longer express yourself or understand how your partner is feeling. It makes sense that something would feel off.
#5 You’re not prioritizing your relationship. I know that responsibilities arise and your partner cannot be your number one priority 100% of the time. Jobs, kids, friends, and more take over. Your relationship could be put on the back burner.
It happens, but if you let it happen without acknowledging it things can feel off and only get worse from there. If you know that something feels off because you’re super busy or your partner is overwhelmed with work, make time for each other when you can.
#6 Someone wants to breakup. For some reason, in the current dating culture, people put off breaking up as long as possible. We all know it is hard to end things and that you don’t want to hurt the other person, but looking at it from a rational perspective lets you see that putting it off only makes things worse.
#7 You’ve grown out of each other. People change. When relationships don’t change with those people, it just isn’t the same. If you grow up and your partner grows up, your relationship may still be stuck in the past.
It sucks to admit it. Sometimes something feels off because it has changed so drastically and the relationship doesn’t fit you anymore. That is okay.
#8 It just isn’t right. I know it is hard to hear, but sometimes if something feels off in your relationship, it’s because it is. There may be no rhyme or reason to it. You could have lost your chemistry or it just isn’t right.
What to do when something feels off in your relationship
Now that you know some of the main reasons why something feels off in your relationship, you have to decide what to do about it.
First, trust your gut. If you feel something is off, it is. Always try to talk about it first. Don’t blame your partner. Let them know how you’re feeling and work through it. It could be due to something small that is easily workable. [Read: 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]
If you want to fix whatever is off, try to. You can try it on your own or go to couple’s therapy to really get everything out in the open.
But, sometimes when something is off it just is, and ending it is the best thing you can do to get back to feeling normal and well, sane. I know it is hard to end a relationship no matter how long you’ve been together, but not every relationship needs to last.
Some people come into our lives for weeks, months, or years and are not meant to stay forever. They come and serve their purpose. Then we move on.