20 Speedy Signs Your Relationship is Moving Too Fast

relationship moving too fast

The healthiest relationships move at the right pace. Read through these 20 signs to know if your relationship is moving a little too fast for comfort.

There are no fast and hard rules for how quickly a relationship should move. It depends upon a number of factors: how old the respective participants are, their previous experiences, their present situations, their family backgrounds, their general outlook on life, etc.

There are, however, in every relationship, obvious signs that things are moving a little too quickly. You know the kind of thing: you’re out with friends, if you haven’t yet ditched them, and at some point during your retelling of all the wonderful stories about you and your other half, the eyebrows slowly start to raise. “You’ve done what, when?!” comes next, and you suddenly start to wonder if your friends actually fulfill that role at all.

What you should be wondering is if they actually have a point, and you’ll going way too fast in love—but, of course, you’re way too loved up for that, aren’t you? If this is you, it is definitely time to take a step back, and start analyzing the following signs to see if things are, indeed, moving too fast.

Signs you need to take it slow in love and slam on the brakes

Think you might be going too fast? Use these signs to determine whether your relationship is in need of a chill pill.

#1 On the pedestal. Are you putting your partner up on a pedestal, when you barely know anything about them? This is definitely a sign of moving too fast. Maybe you need to get to know a little more about them before you decide they should be seated at the right hand of God!

#2 Meet the parents. It’s a scary moment in any relationship, but if you or they are meeting the parents only weeks into the relationship, then something is assuredly amiss. Time to pull back on the reins and steer off course for a while. [Read: 7 phases you have to cross before you’re both ready to meet the parents ]

#3 Constant contact. Go over your text messages, emails, and phone logs for any given day. If the numbers are hitting three digits, if your phone provider is hunting you down with a bill as long as your arm, and you’ve only just met the other person, it’s a surefire sign you need to slow things down.

#4 Knowing nothing. If you’re considering giving them the world, but you don’t even know which newspaper they read or which toothpaste they use, it’s time to settle into a more sedate routine and learn a little about them first. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]

#5 Knowing everything. In direct opposition to #4, knowing everything can be just as strong a sign. If you’re aware of their bowel movements to the minute and you only just met them last week, you both need to hold back a little.

#6 Toothbrush time. Ahhhh, the classic sign of a relationship moving too fast: toothbrushes and paste, razors, soaps, even clothes, all begin making their ways into each other’s closets and cabinets. A discussion might need to be had about how speedily things are progressing.

#7 Once and former friends. Ditching your friends at this early stage? Or maybe your other half is? Never a good sign of a healthy relationship, period, and especially not months or weeks into it.

#8 The full Kama Sutra. Sex is something that should be given over to a new partner slowly and steadily, building up trust and loving respect along the way. If you’ve gotten to the last page of the Kama Sutra, and you haven’t yet gone for coffee together, you’re in serious danger of turning your wanted relationship into a FWB situation.

#9 Social media stars. You met on Wednesday, and by Friday, every form of social media is filled with stories and anecdotes of your respective romantic antics. Believe me, your friends aren’t really cooing at how lovely it all is—they’re more wondering what the hell is possessing you to give so much of your public life away to someone you barely know. [Read: The totally-in-love couple’s guide to social media etiquette]

#10 Marriage talk. Talking about marriage already? That’s a BIG no-no in the early stages. Maybe you should start limiting contact until you’ve gotten to know each other a bit better.

#11 Meet the kids. Meeting kids is just as scary as meeting the parents for some, if not more so. This might be a sudden and startling jerk back into reality if you’re the one doing the meeting. If the scenario is reversed, then you really need to have a word with yourself—for your kid’s sake, if nothing else.

#12 Moving in. Every relationship has this discussion at some point or other, but if you both still don’t know each other’s middle names, then now is not the time! [Read: 15 things you need to know before moving in with your boyfriend]

#13 Once and former responsibilities. Ditching friends is one thing, but ditching real world responsibilities is another altogether. If one of you has stopped paying the bills, or ditched other financial ties without discussion, then slowing down is a very—if not the only—sensible option.

#14 Guarded behavior. Still hanging on to that perfect first date facade? Unwilling to reveal your true self? Both are definite signs that the relationship has gotten ahead of where it should be.

#15 The ‘L’ word. “Love” gets used way too easily, and way too early in the relationship nowadays. Save it for when you truly feel it; otherwise, people may end up getting hurt. More importantly, if feeling it after only a couple of weeks, you may need to reassess whether it’s the genuine thing, or basic infatuation. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon just sucks!]

#16 Happy holidays. Are you planning holidays together, or does one of you get annoyed when the other goes on vacation without you? Five years into a relationship, such feelings are fine, but after only a couple of Saturdays…have words with yourself!

#17 Introductions. If you’ve only just met, but the BF or GF introduction is already being used, you might want to insist on a little time out. This is a relationship that’s moving faster than a politician through a public inquiry.

#18 Planning for rug rats. Come on…seriously! You’ve only just gotten to the stage where you can remember each other’s names, and you’re already talking about having children? You dudes need to slow the hell down!

#19 Pet names. You know things are moving too fast when the pet names are starting to make an appearance. A two-week “snookums” or “honeybun” really is a sign that you need to take the steam out of proceedings.

#20 A date a day. If you’ve known each other somewhere in the region of a mosquito’s lifetime, but you can still look back on half-a-dozen dates or so, then the signs are in agreement: you, my friend, are the Speedy Gonzalez of amour. Time to slow down.

[Read: The 9 stages of relationships all couples go through]

Moving too fast is rarely a positive way to start a relationship. If several of the signs above are regularly popping up, you may want to reassess the pace of things. Although it may be hard, dont be too afraid to put on the brakes and take a step back; the right person will be willing to stick around.

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David Cullen
David Cullen
David Cullen is frequently described as erudite, insightful and witty – but only by himself and only after several large glasses of Rioja....

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DISCUSSION

4 thoughts on “20 Speedy Signs Your Relationship is Moving Too Fast”

  1. Martha V. says:

    This article came right in time. Like a straw to a drowning man. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three months now and yesterday he invited me to his parents’ house. His father would make a grill or something and it would be fun, but I am not so sure. And after reading this I am more than confused and scared of this. I mean, isn’t it too fast for that? Last week was the talk about where to celebrate the Christmas holidays and now this. I don’t know what to think. At least with this article I know that I am not the only one. Any advice ladies? What should I do?

  2. Sissy says:

    Martha,
    I feel that if you don’t feel ready to meet the folks, tell him. I guess it depends on how fast you guys have been moving in other aspects of your relationship. I met my fiance’s parents pretty early on and he met mine at about 4 months. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal honestly. I think that meeting the parents is not the “seal the deal” part of the relationship. Maybe he has been talking about you with them and they are just as nervous to meet you. Maybe it was their idea. Anything could happen, but like I said, if you don’t feel ready, tell him. Be open and honest.

  3. Speedy Gonzales says:

    I recently entered my first relationship ever. At the ripe old age of 22, I felt like the only thing missing in my life was a relationship. So once I had one, I was over joyed. Fast forward two months (the present), the girl and I are head over heels for each other. This isn’t her first relationship, and she says “we’re too perfect for each other”. In some ways shes right. I haven’t had a relationship, so I don’t really know. But we get along really well and solve small arguments very quickly. So I felt that she was “the love of my life” until yesterday. I was talking with some friends and all of a sudden, I felt like fog had been lifted from my brain. I still very much like her, but I am not sure if I like her so much that I see a future (marriage) with her. I know it is way too soon to be even discussing or thinking about that. I suggested we slow down a bit, because she was already discussing moving in together. She gets a little bit upset, and then says she understands completely and thinks that we should slow down as well. After a few days, nothing has changed. She is still staying at my place and we’re just as close as ever. I don’t want to get rid of her I have no problems with her staying with me. However I really do want to slow down a bit. I have a feeling if I’m going to really upset her. She says she’ll probably never find love again etc. if I break up with her. She’s been hurt in the past and I feel like I will be betraying her and damaging her permanently if I ever break up with her. I guess I feel a bit trapped. Because I do like her a lot, but not THAT much. You know what I mean?

  4. Gonza says:

    I hate when girls say “I’ve been hurt in the past” – everyone has been. It’s her trying to suck the few last drops out of the honeymoon phase. She’s telling you her feelings. It’s either that OR she not tell you anything, then you would be on here wondering what she thought about you. There are worse things in life. Have your own life and do the same activities you would without her. She should do the same.

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