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The Lithromantic: What It Really Means & 12 Signs You May Be One

Lithromantic

Do you find yourself crushing on people, but as soon as they reciprocate those feelings you feel uncomfortable? You might be lithromantic.

As with any romantic orientation, somebody who identifies as a lithromantic may identify however they see fit in terms of their sexual orientation.

Sexuality is a wide and diverse spectrum. We no longer live under the terms “heterosexual” and “homosexual.” We separate our romantic lives and definitions from our sexual lives and definitions. The world has opened up and we identify ourselves however we see fit, and all I have to say is: Finally.

The real meaning of lithromantic and what makes you one

Lithromantic, also known as akoiromantic and apromantic, refers to a person who feels romantic love but does not have any desire for those feelings to be reciprocated. If you are lithromantic, you may or may not be comfortable with romantic relationships. You may or may not be comfortable with platonic love. Regardless, this person does not see the need for love in a relationship. [Read: When you love someone but don’t want to be loved in return]

12 signs to recognize a lithromantic

Since I do not personally identify as lithromantic, I opted to scour the pages of the internet and find the most interesting, helpful information to share with you today. Much of this information came from lithromantic individuals who explained their feelings and ideal relationships via forums and blogs.

Wondering if you may be lithromantic? Take a look at the following signs to determine if you are.

#1 You don’t feel the need to be in a romantic relationship. Lithromantic people feel romantic feelings for another person but no desire to be in a romantic relationship with those feelings reciprocated. You may develop a relationship with someone and feel uncomfortable with the romantic side of it. [Read: The 6 types of attraction you should know about]

#2 You feel emotionally unavailable. We all get this way sometimes typically after a heartbreak or traumatic event in our lives. However, if you feel this way for a long time, this may be a sign you are lithromantic. The romance in a relationship does not matter to you, it might not even cross your mind. [Read: How to make yourself emotionally available]

#3 You’re repulsed by the idea of romance. It just grosses you out. Why would anybody want to express their love for each other? Yuck. Let’s just stick to the basic human needs, okay? Romance might gross you out if you are a lithromantic. But maybe not. Like I said, there is a spectrum.

#4 You’re afraid of romance. Maybe you aren’t repulsed by the idea of romance, but it terrifies you. Opening yourself up on that level is terrifying and natural. Many lithromantic people feel the same way. [Read: Pistanthrophobia – Understand the fear of trusting someone]

#5 You seek platonic relationships. Even if you date this person, you prefer your relationship more platonic. If lithromantic, you may be sexually attracted to your partner and that is as far as the attraction goes. You may also be romantically and sexually attracted to your partner, but do not want love reciprocated. That’s okay too.

#6 You lose the feeling of romantic love over time. Many people who are lithromantic enter relationships with a level of romantic love for their partner and lose it over time. They feel only platonic and sexual feelings for their partner. The romantic love could come back from time to time as well.

#7 Physical touch makes you uncomfortable. This is not referring to sexual touch by any means, because as we discussed, romantic orientation and sexual orientation have nothing to do with one another.

As far as romantic touch goes, you may be uncomfortable with things like hand holding, cuddling, hugging, etc. No need to fret! You are not alone. Many lithromantics and non-lithromantics feel this way. [Read: 20 types of physical touch and what they mean ]

#8 You may find yourself attracted to fictional characters. This is not always the case, but some lithromantics fantasize about relationships they could have with characters from their favorite books, movies, and television series. If they have feelings for fictional characters, then there is no possible way that those feelings could be reciprocated. Thus, making them feel uncomfortable. [Read: How to find your fictional character crush in real life]

#9 You may not want any type of relationship—romantic or not. Since it is a spectrum, everybody who identifies as a lithromantic falls on a different part of it and identify accordingly. Some may feel uncomfortable with any sort of relationship, be it sexual in nature or romantic in nature. The idea of developing any sort of bond with another human being makes them very uncomfortable. They seek out short-lived interactions with others.

#10 You may lose feelings for somebody if the topic is brought up. Similar to losing romantic feelings over time, if somebody close to you brings this person up and starts a conversation about them, you feel very uncomfortable. This even makes you analyze those feelings and psych yourself out.

Lithromantics stop having romantic feelings for an individual or their partner if somebody brings it up. They may not want to acknowledge that those feelings exist.

#11 You choose to keep your romantic feelings *crushes* a complete secret. You might be in a relationship now and discussed with your partner how you choose to identify and discuss your feelings *or not at all*. However, for those that are single, you prefer to keep your crushes a complete secret forever, never telling the other person how you feel.

This might not be because you are afraid to tell them at all, but simply because you prefer to not have those feelings reciprocated. This way they never will be. [Read: 22 secrets to living a happy life you want]

#12 You may find yourself sexually attracted to people first. You may seek out sexual partners, instead of romantic partners, and later develop romantic feelings for this person. At which point, you choose to disclose those feelings that you have for that person. Non-committal sexual relationships may be your ideal situation, because you do not need to talk about your “feelings.”

Remember how you identify sexually and romantically is your own business, and it does not need to be disclosed to anybody or anyone. You are welcome to do so, if you choose. However, I hope you never feel pressured to do so.

[Read: What you need to know about each sexual orientation]

I hope these signs helped you determine whether or not you may be lithromantic. It helps you in understanding your relationship selection process in the future.

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