It’s true… relationships are hard and love is confusing, but it’s all completely worth it. We’re fed a completely false narrative of relationship facts by what we see on TV and Hollywood blockbusters. Everything just falls into place and the loving couple have their happy ever after.
It doesn’t always work that way, but it doesn’t mean love’s a waste of time either. Learn the relationship facts to live your love life by and side-step the potential disappointment of having lofty ideals in matters of the heart.
13 relationship facts that’ll change the way you see love
Relationships are hard work. They look like they shouldn’t be. They look like they should be super-easy in many ways. Then, when you try it for yourself, it’s downright hard. Confusion, misunderstandings, upsets, hurt, anger, love, passion. These things all swirl together into one huge concoction that has the power to mess with your mind and leave you unsure which way is up.
[Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]
It makes you wonder why we do it to ourselves, right? Read on to know the relationship facts that everyone should know about, but most don’t.
#1 A relationship will not complete you. Many people assume that when they meet The One, they’re meeting the other half of their soul. Therefore, making them complete. Reality check: you are already complete as the person you are.
When you meet someone, they enhance your life, not complete it. With that mindset shift, you’re far more likely to meet a good match and not someone who make false promises that you believe out of fictional ideas. [Read: The 20 signs you’ve met your real soulmate]
#2 Unfortunately, not all relationships work. Again, in movies and TV shows, you see people breaking up, then they figure out that they’re meant to be and get back together in some dramatic turn of events. Truthfully, not all relationships last. It can also be the case for couples that look really ‘together’.
One of the most important relationship facts is that you have no idea what tomorrow will bring. As terrifying as that is, it’s also thrilling. Truly live in the moment and enjoy it. [Read: 23 facts about love that WILL blow your mind]
#3 Trust is vital. We’re told that it’s all about passion and everlasting love but none of that is going to work without trust. That’s one of the biggest relationship facts you need to know. If you don’t trust your partner, there’s no point in being together. Your time will be utterly miserable.
Work on anything you need to work on, trust your instincts, but don’t point the finger of blame unnecessarily and without proof. Trust needs to be earned, and it’s not always a quick process. [Read: How to build trust in a relationship and make it last]
#4 As is communication. Another vital ingredient in the relationship recipe is communication. Couples who can’t communicate are doomed to fail because one partner will always be missing what they need or want. You’re also not unable to work out any problems you have. Issues will fester and cause oozing wounds to develop. A rather disgusting analogy, but a true one all the same.
#5 Don’t expect it to be like the films. Of all the relationship facts to know, remember this one at all costs… relationships are nothing like you see in films and on TV. They’re glossed over and never show one partner looking terrible and the other in a seriously bad mood. Relationships aren’t glamorous, they’re real life. It means you’ll see each other in your worst states and still love one another regardless.
#6 Sex will become less and less, but that’s okay. If you think that you’re going to be jumping each other’s bones all the time until the day you die, you’re sadly mistaken. As you get to know each other and become comfortable with each other, and time passes by, sex will become less frequent.
Don’t panic! This is very normal. You’ll find that the initial ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’ phase is replaced by something more loving. [Read: 32 weird but true psychological facts about love no one seems to know]
#7 Relationships take time. I totally get why you want to rush past that confusing ‘are we/aren’t we’ stage and get into the actual relationship side of things. But, rushing could doom your union. Take your time, let things evolve naturally. As much as possible, go with the flow.
It’s one of the most important relationship facts to know because by rushing things, you’re at risk of damaging something which could have turned out to be great. [Read: Avoid risking new love and learn how to be patient in a new relationship]
#8 You can’t take your baggage into a new relationship. We all have a little baggage, whether we realize it or not. However, if we’re talking about relationship facts, this is one of the most vital: never take your baggage from an old relationship into a new one. Whatever happened to you in the past isn’t your new partner’s fault. They aren’t necessarily going to repeat the patterns of your ex.
#9 Not everyone is who you think they are. Unfortunately, there are some unscrupulous types out there who turn out to be something completely different once they let their guard down. When you first meet someone, they’re undoubtedly on their best behavior, as are you. When that slips, they might be someone you don’t like that much after all. Consider it a close escape. [Read: 14 strange, interesting facts about sex you didn’t know]
#10 Heartbreak may come your way. All relationships have ups and downs and sometimes people mess up. If this happens to you, take your time, figure out how you feel, but don’t completely close the door. Perhaps they’re extremely sorry and just made a mistake, and maybe you’ll find it within yourself to forgive them and try again. Don’t listen to the opinions of others. Listen to your gut. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a relationship]
#11 Marriage isn’t always the goal. Not everyone wants to get married, and not everyone needs it. Don’t assume that your relationship isn’t real or somehow valid if you don’t marry, because these days, not everyone gets married. It’s about how you feel and what you want, as well as what your partner feels and wants.
Come to a piece of middle ground and work out something that is perfect for you as a couple, not what society says you “should” do. That’s one of the biggest relationship facts! [Read: 20 flirty texting facts that’ll help you have a great love life]
#12 You’ll still be attracted to others. Just because you’re loved up and part of a twosome doesn’t mean you’ll never find another person attractive again. However, there is a difference between feeling a quick attraction and acting upon it. That’s a line you shouldn’t cross.
Of course, your partner is also going to be attracted to others at some point. Accept that as part of life. But, they also shouldn’t act upon it either! [Read: Is it normal to be sexually attracted to someone else?]
#13 You will have fights, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. Couples fight. They argue and say things they don’t mean, then make up again. It’s normal, and, in some ways, it’s healthy. Remember that arguments don’t mean something drastic, nor that you don’t love one another. However, if you’re arguing about the same things all the time, figure out the core issue.
[Read: Why you keep having the same fight and how to break an unhealthy cycle]
These 13 very real relationship facts are things that everyone should know. Don’t go into a relationship with a sugar-coated view. Keep a realistic idea of what a relationship is.
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