Not every relationship is built to last. That’s just a fact of life. Sure, we hold out all sorts of hope when we enter into a new relationship that it’s going to be the one—that we’ve finally found that special person that’s going to make all our fantasies come to life.
But then a few months roll by and you’re rethinking everything, because it’s just not working out and you can’t figure out why. They seemed so incredibly perfect at first! What went wrong?
The turning point in a relationship
I bet after reading that line, your brain immediately jumped to a moment in your relationship when you just knew it wasn’t going to work. It was the turning point that ultimately led to the demise of the entire relationship you’d built.
I’ve been in quite a few failed relationships, due largely to the problems identified in this list. Most relationships end for one of the reasons listed below—or an unfortunate combination of multiple reasons. [Read: 20 signs your perfect relationship is oh-so-over already]
Is it time to let go? Signs your relationship is nearing its end
There are a lot of similar things that lead to the end of a relationship. These factors play a large role in the downfall of your relationship and, to a certain degree, may be the entire cause of its demise. Decide if these describe your relationship and do your best to correct them—before it’s too late!
#1 Bad communication. This tops the list, because you just can’t have a happy relationship when you don’t communicate well. Your partner needs to know your likes, your dislikes, what makes you mad, what works in bed, and so much more.
When you can’t communicate, things build up and become too much to bear and you need out… leading to a failed relationship.
#2 Trust issues. Whatever put the trust issues in place—whether it’s something they did, your past relationships, cheating, lying, etc—it will lead to the end of a relationship. You cannot have a healthy, happy relationship without trusting your significant other 100%. If you want to make it last, work on your issues! [Read: The step-by-step guide to getting over trust issues in your romance]
#3 Unlinked futures. This is a big one for a lot of early 20-somethings. You really like each other, have great chemistry, and seem perfect for each other, but you have completely opposite futures planned out.
Maybe they want to travel the globe for ten years before settling down and you’re looking to be a housewife right away. Either way, you have to have some sort of a similar future for the relationship to really work.
#4 Unrealistic expectations. Let me tell you something that might shock the socks off of you: life is NOT a romantic comedy. Someone is not going to show up out of the blue and make all your dreams come true. You can’t put that kind of pressure on your partner.
When you have unrealistic expectations, you fall victim to asking too much of someone and remaining unhappy because you think things should be different. Stop having such high expectations and face reality if you want your relationship to last. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]
#5 Different expectations. Not only are unrealistic expectations a problem; having different expectations is problematic, too. One person might think that you two are headed to the altar and the other might just be dating you to figure out what they want.
Having different expectations of one another in the relationship will almost definitely lead to a split if you can’t come to terms with it.
#6 Not compatible. You might both have the same hobbies, interests, and even sense of humor. However, if you can’t both decide on the proper way to fold clothes, things might not work out. Now, that’s a very small detail, but if your compatibility is off in a significant way, it could lead to a breakup. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]
#7 Abuse of any kind. Whether it’s physical or emotional, any kind of abuse is going to head the relationship downhill faster than anything else. No one should ever put up with any form of abuse and that is evident in the amount of relationships that have failed due to it. If you’ve been abused, it is time to get the hell out of dodge. If you are the abuser, you need to change your ways—fast.
#8 Judgmental partner. This one is very real for me, because for some reason, no matter what I did, my ex would always judge me. I decided to start practicing yoga, and he immediately mocked my choice. I wanted to take up painting, and he quickly told me that I was wasting my time.
When you can’t be yourself around someone because you fear their opinion is going to be negative, your relationship will fail.
#9 Boredom. Another big one for me! I get bored easily. This means I need someone to keep me on my toes and keep things interesting. When you get bored in a relationship, it usually means that there’s a mismatch in the chemistry and compatibility department, and it’s only a matter of time before one of you goes looking for something to curb that feeling. [Read: 15 reasons why you’re bored with your relationship]
#10 Lack of intimacy. No matter what anyone says, sex is important in a relationship. It provides intimacy and a way for you to connect in a way nothing else does. When that slows down considerably or just stops altogether, it’s not looking good for the couple.
#11 Money issues. If you’re further along in the relationship—say, married—money can become a huge problem. When money is tight or you can’t decide how each person should be spending their money, it leads to arguments and stress… also known as a recipe for a quick breakup.
#12 Isolation from a social life. Ding! Ding! Another one that hits home for this gal over here. I once had a boyfriend who decided he didn’t like my friends because they were a “bad influence”—AKA: he didn’t like that we would go out and have fun without him there.
I became so isolated that he was the only person I ever really talked to or saw and I went stir crazy! I couldn’t wait to be out of that relationship.
#13 Low self-esteem. Low self-esteem on either part can lead to enormous relationship issues. You feel bad about yourself despite their efforts to make you feel good, you worry they’ll leave you for someone better—and more. This causes you or your partner to be unhappy and one *or both* of you will probably want to end things. [Read: How your self respect affects you and the relationships you’re in]
#14 JEALOUSY. This really should be #1, but I had to save it for last because it is the MOST common reason that couples head to Splitsville. Although it does relate to having trust and insecurity issues, it is in a category by itself because it exceeds the limits of both.
When you or your partner is always jealous and causes you to change to fit what they think is appropriate *friends, clothes, hair, shoes—ANYTHING* then resentment builds up, and finally someone ends things because they just can’t take it anymore.
[Read: 6 little ways to stop being so jealous in a relationship]
Relationships have a ridiculously high failure rate and these common reasons happen to be the culprit behind their demise. If you want your relationship to last, avoid these at all costs!
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