Emotional immaturity has no timeline. If you live with someone emotionally immature, it is grow up time because you can’t keep doing it.
Most people think maturity is all about age. In reality, a true measure of how mature someone is lies in their emotional maturity. Emotional immaturity is when you have the emotions of a child, or the lack thereof. If you think you’ll change someone who’s emotionally immature, think again.
Seven signs of emotional immaturity in your mate
Emotional immaturity is not a habit you break someone of. It is the inability to grow up and see anyone else’s perspective. Although the result of many different things, like modeling, the individual’s personality, or sometimes trauma or negligence in their past, everyone grows at their own pace, and some people just never mature, period.
These seven signs of emotional immaturity let you know what their deal is.
#1 They never take responsibility for anything they do. Someone emotionally immature has an inability to ever see themselves as responsible for anything they do or anything in their life. Anything that goes wrong is because of someone else. Everything they don’t have is because someone took it from them.
They just can’t see how their actions are the cause of anything bad in their life. Their failures all stem from someone else. Everyone is trying intentionally to keep them back and holding from them what they want. [Read: 22 secret signs you’re dating an egomaniac]
#2 They lack empathy. Someone with emotional immaturity is incapable of putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. That doesn’t just mean that they can’t feel bad for the people in their life, that means they don’t feel sorry for poor people in other countries, they use stereotypes to define people and why they live in poor circumstances, and they generally just don’t ever feel an obligation to give someone a break, period.
#3 They put people down to make themselves feel powerful and strong. Someone who isn’t emotionally mature usually isn’t very secure about themselves. They make themselves feel powerful by cutting other people down and making other’s feel less than.
The worse that someone else feels, the better an emotionally immature person feels. They use intimidation, name calling, and whatever other bad behaviors they can, to win an argument or to put someone in an inferior position so that they feel superior. [Read: 16 signs a narcissist is using and abusing you]
#4 They refuse to listen to anyone else’s opinion. Going right along with the empathy theme, someone who isn’t emotionally mature, doesn’t want to hear what other people think or have to say. Don’t try to convince them that they are wrong or that their opinion might not be right. They will not cave, nor will they even listen.
Arguing with someone who doesn’t have the maturity to see things from another point of view is completely pointless. It gets you nowhere. Much like insanity, trying to change their mind is tantamount to beating your head against the wall. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re in a narcissistic relationship]
#5 What they want comes first, like a two-year-old. If you don’t acquiesce to an emotionally immature person, they have no problem throwing a hissy fit. It might not be the throw their body down on the ground or stamp their feet *or it might* but the result is the same.
When you don’t give in to someone emotionally immature, all you are left with is reprisal of some sort and bad feelings. What they want is what they get. If they don’t get it, then you eventually end up giving in just to make the temper tantrum stop.
#6 They have an inability to compromise. Being in a relationship with an emotionally insecure mate leaves you never getting what you want. You always give in and give up. They don’t have the capacity to compromise.
That would mean that if they don’t get exactly what they want, they won’t stand for it. Compromise is something big kids learn. Emotional immaturity is the checker board thrower who continues to win or gives up.
#7 They don’t care about your feelings if it gets in the way of theirs. Emotionally immature people don’t care about how you feel or what you want. You are only a means to their end. They manipulate you any way they can because the only person that exists in their head is themselves. They aren’t going to give a shit if you are in tears.
In fact, your emotions and reasoning with them only irritates and angers them. They don’t care about what you want, so stop thinking you just lack communication. You communicate just fine. They refuse to listen because they don’t care. [Read: Emotional manipulation and 14 ways people mess with your mind]
Emotional immaturity in adults who haven’t yet realized that the world doesn’t revolve around them, doesn’t mean it is simply a matter of time before your mate grows up, think again.
Not everyone grows up. It isn’t a requisite. As long as you feed into it and don’t force them to change their immature ways, they will use your kindness to their advantage to get what they want.
The next time your mate decides to hold their breath until they get what they want and acts like a two-year-old, treat them as such and ignore it. Rewarding bad behavior at any age only perpetuates it. Nip the emotional immaturity in the bud!
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