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59 Relationship Lessons & Honest Love Advice Only Experience Can Teach You

Don’t you wish someone could give you a book with all the advice about love in it? Well, you’re in luck. Here are 59 things you need to know about love.

love advice and relationship lessons

If your relationship was worth its weight, it would have brought something to the table by way of a lesson. Unfortunately for you, these lessons are often long, drawn-out, painful, and might make you think twice before embarking on your next love-related adventure. That’s why you need our love advice.

So why do people continue the search for love everlasting? Through our trials and lessons learned along the way, we hope to put our experience to good use and find the right person who won’t burn us in the future.

Most important advice about love you’ll learn from experience

Many people believe we can only stamp our approval on a past relationship if we’ve learned something in the process. Below is a list of 59 things you’ll only ever learn and believe from living it out yourself.

1. Once a cheater… 

There’s an old saying that goes: Once a cheater, always a cheater. This is one painful lesson you’ll likely only learn from experience. 

Why? Unfortunately, every girl fancies herself the superwoman, thinking she can be the one to tame the wild horse from his bad-boy ways. [Read: 36 healing secrets to get over being cheated on quickly & not fall apart]

2. Having a mate will not fix all of your problems

While suffering from depression or a simple case of the life blues, some people tend to get the mentality that if they could just be in a relationship, their entire life would be better.

If you’re in a relationship, it doesn’t mean everything that bothered you about your life before will magically disappear.

3. Puppy love doesn’t last

This is something most people learn in their teenage years. However, it’s only with maturity that you decipher that the lack of butterflies for your partner isn’t bad. 

It simply means you’ve moved past an emotionally immature portion of your relationship to something more stable and refreshing. [Read: Puppy love – what it means, stages, 37 signs & ways to turn it into true love]

4. You deserve better than an abusive partner

No matter how badly you want a relationship to work, you’ll never have success if you put the fate of your relationship above all of your other problems. 

Ignoring serious issues such as spousal abuse, drug or alcohol addiction, or mental issues will only damage both parties in the end and you’ll be no closer to being happy. [Read: 16 signs of an abusive relationship]

5. Rebounds suck, but they’re necessary

Although this sounds a bit harsh, dating someone before you’re ready to is sometimes necessary to move on. 

There are people you date for fun, there are serious relationships, and then there are those people you date in between, to get you ready for your next great love.

6. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean it will work out 

No matter how hard you try or how fiercely you love, sometimes you simply have to admit defeat in a relationship. This is an incredibly hard thing to face, especially if you still have feelings for someone.

7. Don’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most

Sometimes, people think that loving someone too much is a weakness. But love is NEVER a weakness, only hate and fear are. 

So, never be afraid to love people – even if you love them more than they love you. It shows that you are a more loving, mature person.

8. Love isn’t fair, and that’s what makes it so beautiful

Just because we love someone doesn’t guarantee that they will love us back. While that is a sad reality, it’s just life. And love isn’t always fair. [Read: Types of relationships – 26 ways to define your love life]

While that is hurtful at times, it can also be a very beautiful thing. To love with no expectations is truly unconditional love.

9. Love is not happiness

Everyone wants to be happy – it’s just a natural human urge. But if you think that love equals happiness, then you’re wrong. 

Sure, love can be a very important part of why you are happy, but it’s not the only thing. It’s more like the cherry on top – it makes life sweeter. This is a very important piece of love advice. [Read: 70 true secrets to happiness to have a happy life and enjoy everything you do]

10. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? 

Just because you’re right, doesn’t mean you need to say it or fight to prove your point every single time.

In the end, all you will do is end up aggravating your partner. It doesn’t exactly make for a comfortable living situation when you’re touting your hat as the one who never does any wrong. [Read: Ways to avoid the post-argument tension]

11. Life isn’t all about you

There comes a point in a serious relationship where you realize that there is a bigger picture in life. 

Whether you realized this out of a trauma in your life, an illness, or just plain maturity that comes with age, it’s a liberating feeling to know that real love means putting your partner above yourself, granted they would do the same for you.

12. But sometimes it has to be about you

However, if your partner is not treating you well, then you will eventually learn that your emotional and physical well-being is more important than any happiness you could get from a relationship. 

With time, you realize that you are worth more than being walked on or made to feel bad about yourself on a daily basis. [Read: Love yourself first- where people go wrong, 36 whys, and how to do this right]

13. Love does not keep score

It’s way too easy to keep a mental score of what you give to the relationship and what your partner does. But when you do that, it could create resentment if you find that you are giving more than you are receiving. 

True love doesn’t do that. Instead, when you truly love someone, you accept them for who they are and love them despite their flaws. [Read: How to make a relationship last – 25 rules of love that you can’t ignore]

14. Love is learned

Everyone grows up with their own model of what love is – mostly from their parents.

For example, if someone grew up in an abusive household, they may think that is what “love” looks like because they learned that as a child. [Read: 23 relationships we all go through]

On the other hand, if a child grew up witnessing unconditional love, then they learn that that really is what love is. We learn what love is from our experiences in life.

15. Life goes on, post-breakup

If you are in the midst of a breakup and you’re still reeling from the pain and shock of it all, then all the people telling you it’ll get better and you’ll meet someone else just isn’t going to cut it.

But life truly does go on after a breakup. Not only will you likely find someone better in the process, but you’ll also find yourself. [Read: Things to do after a breakup to feel better immediately]

16. Never have a “type”

You might think you have a type, a particular look or personality that you feel is a suitable match, but love will teach you that it has its own selection process. 

It’s also true that by having a specific “type,” you’re pushing aside people who may be a great match for you. The best love advice? Don’t have a type. [Read: Reasons your ideal partner wish list isn’t working for you]

17. Love is tough

Forget the romance movies with their rose-tinted glasses approach to the whole question of love. Unfortunately, the real world doesn’t operate that way.

When you fall in love with someone, you create a dependence that involves a lot of sacrifice and compromise. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your breakups]

18. Love thyself

Everything you know about yourself will be turned on its head, twisted, opposed, and subjected to a torrent of emotional bewilderment.

Your emotional state will be more brittle and vulnerable than you ever could have imagined. And this, in turn, will teach you a lesson about yourself that you would never have otherwise experienced. [Read: 19 sure signs you’re starting to fall in love with someone]

19. When you know, you know

What’s the one line that you hear in romance movies all the time? “How do I know if it’s true love?” And the answer is nearly always something along the lines of, “If it is, you’ll just know.” And that’s exactly it.

20. Almost nothing is as important 

When you are truly head-over-heels in love, everything else, all those events and happenings that seemed of such world-shattering importance, suddenly kind of fade away into insignificance.

All you can think about is the object of your affection. It doesn’t matter how level-headed a person you are. [Read: Love vs. in love – what makes them so different & yet so familiar?]

No matter how practical or down to earth, your confidence in your ability to remain so in the face of any emotion will be sorely put to the test by the experience of being in love.

21. The most simple act of love is making and keeping a promise

As the saying goes: talk is cheap. In other words, it’s easy to say you’re going to do something, but it’s another thing to actually do it. And as the other saying goes: actions speak louder than words.

There is almost nothing more important in love than making and keeping your promises. Don’t just say you’ll do something and not do it. If you don’t think you can follow through, then don’t commit to it. [Read: What does love feel like? 24 feelings you can’t deny]

22. You have an unlimited supply of love

Contrary to what a lot of people think – love is not finite. It is infinite, and everyone has an endless supply. So, there is plenty to go around.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you have less love to give someone else. Most parents love their children equally and don’t divide it up between them so some get less and some get more.

23. Love is all you need

More song titles to describe the point, as they do that so well, but when you are truly in love, you don’t need anything else.

You find that all your plans for money, career, or any other kind of advancement suddenly seem petty and childish. [Read: The most powerful, yet smallest, gestures that show love in a powerful way]

All you want out of life is to get to spend it alongside the person who has, in a flash, turned your life upside down.

24. Kiss your pride goodbye

You can’t be prideful and be in love – the two just don’t go hand in hand. When you’re in love, all that you care about is the object of your desires.

And things that you previously thought of as important in your character and the way people perceive you no longer matter in the slightest. [Read: 20 Secrets to stop being selfish and ways to stop using and hurting others]

25. Loneliness is never a good reason to be in a relationship

Some people hate to be alone and single. But just because you’re lonely doesn’t mean you should get into a relationship. 

Love yourself enough to be single and alone. If you don’t, then you will never be a good partner in the right relationship.

26. It’s not what you fight about that kills your relationship, it’s how you fight about it

Most people don’t like conflict. But it’s not inherently bad. In fact, it can be quite healthy to have and work through conflict in an effective manner. 

But most people don’t know how to do that. When you fight dirty, that ruins relationships and love. [Read: How to resolve conflict – the 15 best ways to cut out the drama]

27. Expect the unexpected

Get ready for the unexpected. It can happen at any time, in any place, with the most unexpected of people, no matter how disciplined and controlled you like to think you are.

28. Your attitude may change

Does it annoy you when people talk with their mouths full? Does the way some people breathe when they sleep set your teeth on edge? Do you just hate it when people ask pointless questions?

Well, be prepared to have such dislikes swept aside because when your loved one commits any of these minor social crimes. You will suddenly find that your former pet peeves have transformed into the cutest and most adorable mannerisms that you’ve ever had the pleasure to witness.

29. Love is always the best medicine 

And true love really is. This is a lesson that only the experience of true love can teach. 

No matter how bad your day has been, no matter how down or under the weather you feel, just one flash of a smile or a kind word from the one you love, and you’ll feel like you could take on the world again. 

And that really is a beautiful thing. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship that keep couples happy and in love]

30. You’ll have to compromise

Some of the best love advice out there will serve you well but this one is key – know that you’ll need to compromise occasionally. Of course, that doesn’t mean all the time. 

You should never simply let your new love have everything they want. But you need to put your own wants aside occasionally and meet in the middle.

31. Love will change you in some way

No matter whether you fall in love ten times in your life or just once, the experience will change you every time. Not completely, but there will be small lessons you’ll learn that change your outlook on life. 

You might understand a weakness you had that’s now a strength. Or, you might learn more about who you are in a relationship. Regardless of the lesson, accept it and value it. [Read: The types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]

32. It will bring you to your knees at least once

This person will test you, push you, and make you wonder why you even bother. But there are lessons to be learned from all this emotional chaos. It won’t last, and it shouldn’t. 

If something hurts you and never changes, even after a regular conversation, walk away. But always remember what it taught you. [Read: Twin flame or soulmate? 17 strong signs that clearly tell them apart]

33. You can turn any moment into a romantic moment

This might sound silly because most people think a “romantic moment” happens on Valentine’s Day with roses, wine, and a romantic dinner.

But anything can be romantic. Even sitting together with a screaming baby in your arms can be romantic if you choose to see it that way.

34. Love is not a feeling

Most people get love and infatuation confused with each other. That “high” you get when you are infatuated and newly in love is a feeling – almost like a drug. 

But that feeling wears off after a while. What you’re left with is true love. True love is about choice and action – not necessarily feelings. [Read: What is true love? 58 sign and ways to tell if what you’re feeling is real]

35. Your partner isn’t a mind reader

There are countless people out there who assume that their partner can read their mind. So, when they don’t get what they want or need, they become frustrated and angry. 

The problem is, their partner has no clue why they’re acting that way. They have no idea because they’re simply not a mind reader! [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

36. No two relationships are ever the same

Never look at someone else’s relationship and compare it to yours. It’s the biggest mistake you’ll ever make. That’s because there are no two relationships on this planet that are ever the same and there is no perfect relationship either. 

Everyone has their problems and peeves. Simply work with what you have and try to make it the best you can. If it doesn’t work out, know that you did your best.

37. There is no perfect relationship

Let us get one thing straight, no one’s relationship is perfect. All those lovey-dovey couples you see on social media are just one-sided posts to the story. No couple is without flaws, fights, arguments, and mistakes. [Read: Long-term relationship advice and the best ways to transform your love life forever]

38. As time goes by, your partner becomes less perfect and more human

We go about entering into relationships thinking we found the perfect one for us. We find their little quirks and idiosyncrasies to be quite adorable, and at times, charming. 

However, there is such a thing called the honeymoon period and as soon as it’s over, one would find these quirks to be less charming, and at times, downright irritating. Don’t forget this very important piece of love advice.

39. Love is more about being complementary than it is about being compatible

There are a lot of differences of opinion when it comes to whether opposites attract or if compatibility and similarity are key to a healthy, loving relationship. 

The truth is, the complementary characteristics of the two of you can balance each other out and make you whole. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility]

40. The best relationships require boundaries

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you should give over your power, likes, and dislikes to the other person. Both of you need to have personal boundaries. 

This is healthy because it commands respect between the two of you. And it shows self-love, which is key to love between two people as well.

41. Your love becomes more “real”  

There are different stages of love. When one enters the first stages of the relationship, it is a love that is “innocent” because the entire relationship is new. 

As time goes by, you will see your partner as someone who is capable of making mistakes, making it a challenge to love them. Such is the challenge of love: it becomes less an ideal and more real.

42. You become comfortable in each other’s silence 

During the first few stages of your relationship, you want to know everything about the person. When you get deeper into the relationship, there is no such thing as an awkward silence. In fact, it is only comforting to have some quiet time together. [Read: Little habits that bring couples closer]

43. There is nothing more eternal than true friendship

Another important piece of love advice is that a mature relationship means more than just romantic feelings toward each other. It also entails being friends. Love goes beyond romance because when it all comes right down to it, love is based on friendship. 

44. Intimacy is always key

Intimacy means more than just sex. Intimacy is a meeting of minds and ideas. Your shared intimacy is a reflection of who you are as a person and how you share it with your partner. 

It shows your compatibility in the end. Intimacy brings you closer to a deeper level that no words can truly define. [Read: Unique ways to build intimacy with your partner]

45. Go to bed angry

Contrary to what you may have been taught, just go to bed angry, sleep on the problem, and tackle it when you are both fresh and ready for battle the next day. 

You will be surprised at how quickly your problems will be resolved when you give each other time to think, breathe and get over it. [Read: Tips for a truly happy marriage]

46. Trust, even if you don’t feel like it

You always have to trust your partner, no matter how difficult it may be. Trust is transcendent. It seeps into every aspect of your life and should not be reserved just for fidelity. 

Sure, you have to trust that your partner is going to be loyal, but you also have to trust yourself to be able to handle everything that gets thrown your way. [Read: Practical ways to rebuild trust in your relationship]

47. Embrace gratitude

Embrace gratitude and just be thankful for all that you have. Once you realize that you have so much, you will be happy. 

Stop chasing after materialistic things and stop comparing yourself to others. The thing you have to remember is that no matter how much money you have, it will never be enough.

48. Learn to speak up

As much as you love your spouse, it is your life too. You have a say in everything that happens. [Read: Signs you’re not being heard, and ways to fix it]

From what color the kitchen should be to where you see yourselves in 20 years, always remember that you have a say in every aspect of your life together.

49. Stop worrying about what others think

It is your life to live and no matter how unhappy it makes someone else, stand your ground and do whatever it takes to carve out the best life for you and your partner.

Stop stressing about what people are going to think or say if you get married, have your first kid, have your fifth kid, buy a second home, adopt a potbellied pig, and so on. [Read: Why you shouldn’t worry about justifying your life choices]

50. Don’t strive to change your partner

Remember that people change, but they do not change much. Do not work hard to change your partner. They have spent years turning into the person they are today, and the same can be said for you. 

Do not make it your mission to mold your partner into the so-called ideal person, because there is no such thing as perfection. They are human just like you and are bound to make mistakes.

51. Love requires vulnerability

Love requires emotional intimacy and sharing of each other’s feelings and thoughts. And in order to do that, you have to be vulnerable. This is a huge piece of love advice. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up, and 28 secrets to grow closer]

If you put up walls to protect yourself, then you are shutting your partner out of your heart. That’s why you both need to be vulnerable with one another to build that emotional intimacy. Intimacy is the foundation of love.

52. There’s no magic recipe or formula for true love

Wouldn’t it be great if someone could hand us a rulebook for love? All we would have to do is follow the advice and things would work out perfectly and smoothly.

But there is no magic recipe or formula for true love. In fact, it looks different for each couple. What is perfect for one partnership isn’t perfect for another one. [Read: Ways to love more and hurt less in love]

53. Never hold back a compliment, and always think twice before criticizing

Criticism is like poison to love. Sure, there will always be something about our partners that annoys us – it’s inevitable. But pointing it out in anger will do love no good.

Instead, focus on giving compliments to your partner. That’s what love does – it brings people up and makes them feel good. In contrast, criticism is a form of hate that only brings people down.

54. Forgive people quickly and often

Most people think that if you forgive someone that you are condoning what they did. But that’s not true. Forgiving is also about releasing negativity for yourself. [Read: How to forgive and forget – 24 thoughts to decide on the right step]

As Buddha once said, “Holding on to resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It’s true. You have to release negativity in the form of forgiveness for love to flourish. This is a very important piece of love advice you should never forget.

55. It’s the hardest times that make the best memories and creates longest-lasting bonds

As we all know, life is not a fairy tale. It would be great if it was, but the truth is, most people go through hard times. And that includes couples.

Most relationships have their peaks and valleys. And while the valleys are not fun, they do create memories and can also make the deepest, longest-lasting bonds between two people. [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets, and ways to build a real bond]

56. Don’t forget to dance

Not everyone loves to dance, but there is a certain amount of joy and happiness that comes when you do it. Music and dancing with the one you love will keep love alive. It creates happy emotions, so don’t forget to dance – whether it’s in the rain or in your living room.

57. Love knows no race, gender, age, or religion

This is another big piece of love advice. Most people are conditioned to believe that they should be with someone of the opposite sex, of the same race, similar in age, and with the same religion and outlook on life. 

But that’s not how love works. Love doesn’t see differences between you and another person. And even if it does, it doesn’t care. [Read: Cross culture romance – 40 secrets to have a happy intercultural relationship]

58. Sex is not love

There are also a lot of people who confuse sex with love. They think that if someone has sex with them, that they love them. 

But the truth is, many people have sex just because it’s fun and it feels good. Loving someone they have sex with is not a requirement for a lot of people. So, don’t get the two of them confused. [Read: 17 most intimate sex positions and tips to feel romantic while making love]

59. Try not to linger on the past

As the saying goes – the past is the past, so let it stay there. You can’t go back in time and change it. What’s done is done.

So, all you can do is look to the future. If mistakes happened in the past, just do better in the future. Concentrate on making tomorrow better than yesterday.

[Read: Signs you’re being selfish by trying to change your partner]

Although the subject of love has been the focus of poems, books, and songs since the first humans made eyes at each other, there can never be a replacement for the love advice you learn from your own experiences.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...