I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks and after this last one, it was almost movie worthy. I decided it was time for me to take some breathing space. Does that mean that men want nothing to do with me? Absolutely not. In fact, it’s like when they see that you don’t want anything to do with them, they want you more. It’s tragic. I mean, when I wanted a relationship, I’d leave the club literally hearing crickets. But now that I wonder how to stay single, they won’t leave me alone.
How to stay single
If you’re used to always being in relationships, now that you’re single, maybe it’s time you took some space for yourself. You know, do things that you want to do, spend time with your friends, take a bubble bath. You don’t have to be with someone to have a good time. [Read: 8 signs you’ve always been a serial monogamist and need a break]
It’s probably better for yourself to spend some time alone. Since you’re reading this, you’re probably already considering this but you’re not sure how to not be single. Well, I’ve been single for a while, so don’t worry, I’ll get you on the right track. Sometimes, being single can be a good thing.
#1 Don’t think about the invisible clock. There’s no clock. Okay, for women, I know we have a biological clock, but other than that, there’s no clock. You don’t have to get married by 28 nor do you have to buy a house by 30. There’s no clock, people!
Most of my friends are in relationships but honestly, I don’t feel the pressure. I mean, who says I must be in a relationship at 26? Is there some law about that? Exactly. Just go with the flow. [Read: Why get married? 10 of the worst reasons to tie the knot]
#2 Make a list of things you want to do. Make a list of everything that you want to do. Maybe you want to travel to Europe or Japan. Maybe you want to take salsa dancing lessons or maybe you want to learn how to do graphic design. Well, write it down.
Make that list as long as you want, I don’t care. The point is, use this list as motivation for you to enjoy this single life. Focus on you.
#3 Don’t be close-minded about relationships. There was this phase where I never wanted to be in a relationship and the thought of men disgusted me. But this isn’t the mentality you should be adopting when single. Be open minded to relationships.
If someone asks you out, go out on a date with them. You see what you’re looking for in a relationship and the type of person you need. This is the time where you should be exploring, so don’t be a Debbie Downer when it comes to finding love. [Read: How to meet new people – 16 exciting ways to find a new crowd]
#4 Look at the flaws of your past relationship. A good way to staying single is to work on what was wrong in your past relationships. I mean, I know you don’t want to admit it, but you’re flawed. That’s normal.
So, take some time in looking at what you did in the past and what you want to change about yourself. Now’s the time to do it. [Read: How to start over and win: 12 keys to finding your second chance]
#5 Develop strong relationships with friends. When you’re single and crying every night alone, well, of course, you’re not having a good time. Invest your spare time hanging out with friends and family. Go out to the bar, try out a new restaurant with your buddies, go to Mexico for vacation.
I mean, now that you’re single, you have time. A lot of time. So, use it. When you’re in a relationship, your friends and family are going to be put on the back burner, you know that. So, spend this time with them.
#6 Think of being single as a positive lifestyle. Being single is really fun. If you’re doing it right. If not, you’ll end up dating someone similar to your ex. Then it’s just the same cycle all over again.
If you take the time to think of this as a learning experience about yourself, well, then you’re taking this time with a positive mind which is what you need to be doing. Think positive, and good things will happen! [Read: The real reasons why dating gets harder in your 20s]
#7 Tune out the negative. Your grandparents may be asking you why you’re single and all your friends may be getting married but that doesn’t mean you need to go down that road just yet. You need to just remove all the nagging from friends and family and just focus on yourself. This negative energy isn’t doing anyone any good.
It’s definitely not going to make you find someone any faster. So, just chill out. If someone you like pops up into your life, then go with it. [Read: Single and ready to mingle? Get out there in the world]
#8 Do whatever the hell you want. But actually—just do whatever you want. Want to eat ice cream for dinner? Do it. Want to have a one-night stand? Swipe that Tinder. You do whatever the f*ck you want. That’s the beauty of being single, you have ultimate freedom. I know relationships can be nice, but for now, you’re single, so go wild.
#9 Focus on your passions. Whatever it is that you love doing, painting, dancing, singing, writing—whatever it is, just do it. One of the secrets to knowing how to stay single is to distract yourself with things you enjoy doing. Now is the time where you’re not distracted with dating and the whole she-said-he-said bullshit, so just focus on what brings you happiness.
Throw yourself into your passions. You’ll notice how amazing the outcome is. And it’s not for someone else, it’s for you. [Read: How to live in the moment – 20 positive ways to live in the now]
#10 Continue being sexually active. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re dead. So, either bulk up on the sex toys or find a friend with benefits to sleep with whenever you feel the urge.
People assume that being single means you have cobwebs growing in between your legs. Let me tell ya, I have more sex being single now than I ever did. I just don’t have any strings attached. Now, if you get attached quickly, then you don’t have to have sex with someone, just master your finger work. [Read: 16 signs you’re just not ready for a serious relationship]
#11 Don’t glue yourself to social media. There’s something great about social media, you get to show off your single-ness. But on the other side, it seems that social media loves to poke fun at single people. They’re deemed as pathetic and depressing people, but that’s not true.
There’s no self-pity associated with my single life. So, if social media is being a damper on your single life, just put it to the side. [Read: Social media detox: 13 ways to wean yourself off of social media]
#12 Enjoy the time alone. If you want to be single, and not because you feel that you should be, but because you really want to be single, enjoy the time. Listen, when I didn’t want to be single, I really hated the time I spent alone.
But I was doing it all wrong. I wasn’t appreciating the time I got to use on me. Now? I’m realizing being single is great! I don’t have to compromise, tell someone where I am, what I’m doing. I mean, I’m free.
[Read: Single for life: Enjoy the ride and find the one along the way]
Now that you know how to stay single, follow these tips and you’ll be single for a long time. Or, at least until you’re ready to get back into the dating field.
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