We live in a digital age. Everything we do revolves around the Internet in some guise, including how we meet people, communicate, and how we show others what we’re doing in our lives. However, one rather annoying use for social media in particular is the instance of making a relationship Insta-official or changing your relationship status on Facebook. Really? When it comes to knowing how to make a relationship official, can’t we do it without social media?
Let’s be honest, do you really want to sit scrolling through your newsfeeds on your lunch break and find out that the girl you used to know from your previous job has finally made it official with the guy she met in a club a month before? Do you really care that much?
You see, we place so much importance upon finally becoming an official item with someone we’ve been dating, but the truth is this – nobody else really cares!
Harsh, but true.
[Read: Does your relationship status really matter as much as you think it does?]
Now, if you’re 15, I get the fact that you want to shout from the rooftops that you’re going steady with hunky Jack or cute Sarah, but after that age, should we really be so bothered about what other people think?
I have a theory on this.
Basically, if you feel the need to tell the world that you’re in a relationship and who it’s with, surely you’re doing it for attention?
You can disagree with me if you like and I think many will, but in my opinion, the best relationships are kept off social media. Why? Because there are far too many troublemakers who adore stirring up drama, just waiting for the opportunity to pounce and cause problems in your new and budding relationship.
How many relationships have been wrecked by Facebook snooping or lies? Probably many! In fact, one of my past relationships hit the wall because of a social media campaign that was designed to cause trouble. In the end, I figured the drama just wasn’t worth it. [Read: 15 ways Facebook can completely ruin a good relationship]
So, if you really want to solidify your relationship and make it official, how can you do it?
How to make a relationship official
I want to focus on ways that don’t mean a large shouting announcement via social media. However, the first thing you need to do is make sure that what you consider to be official is what your new partner considers to be the same thing.
For some people, official means not seeing or sleeping with anyone else. For other people, official means that they go out in public together. It’s a personal definition and you need be sure that you’re on the same page before you let others know about your budding relationship.
So, how can you do that? The first step in knowing how to make a relationship official is to sit down and have a chat about it. Now, this doesn’t need to be a serious “we need to talk” moment. You don’t have to make this heavy and in my opinion, it’s best if you don’t. However, you do need to be clear about what you want if you’ve been dating steadily over a period of time. [Read: Defining the relationship made easy – How to initiate the talk]
Leave it a month or two and then explain what you want. Say that you’re not interested in just dating and that you’re looking for something a little deeper than that. If it’s what you want, there’s no shame in admitting it and you shouldn’t be scared to do so, however make sure you don’t do it too soon! As I mentioned, a month is the minimum, and a little longer if possible.
This conversation will tell you whether you’re on the same page or not. If you are, it’s time to learn how to make a relationship official in a firmer way!
Does there need to be some kind of huge announcement? Do you need to post an ad in the local newspaper? [Read: When to define the relationship? 20 signs it’s right now]
No, and definitely no to the second one.
If you want my opinion, I don’t believe you have to do anything in terms of learning how to make a relationship official. If it’s official between the two of you because you’ve both had a conversation and decided that you’re going to be exclusive, then what else needs to be done?
You’ll start seeing each other more, you’ll probably meet friends and family members and it will all happen organically and naturally, without there needing to be a huge social media post with love hearts and “in a relationship with …”.
Of course, if you’re introducing you new beau to your parents or close friends, you’re going to have to give them a title. So, what do you call them? Your partner? Your boyfriend? Your girlfriend? Your significant other? That’s up to you, and it depends on what you’re comfortable with, however it’s never a good idea to introduce someone you’ve recently become official with as your friend; it’s kind of insulting! [Read: The 14 stages of a new relationship to define your budding romance]
In my eyes, that’s how to make a relationship official, it’s as simple as that.
Why social media is filled with relationship-shaped pitfalls
I don’t have a huge downer on social media, it’s just that I have seen with my own eyes many times how it can ruin a budding union before it’s even got off the ground. There’s also the worry of becoming friends with your new partner on social media, if you haven’t already. Who is in that photo? Why are they in that place? How come they’re not tagging you in their posts? [Read: The happy couples’ guide to social media etiquette]
Can you see the number of questions the whole thing throws up? And, when you really sit down and think about it, it all seems so childish but it actually brings our insecurities and worries firmly to the fore.
This all puts a huge amount of pressure on a new relationship and takes away that famous honeymoon period. When you first decide to make it official with someone, you should be enjoying the early stages; you should be out having fun, laughing, kissing, making memories and probably spending a lot of time in the bedroom.
You should not be spending time monitoring your Facebook for messages from a jealous ex or questioning how this, that or the other is in a recent photo. [Read: 15 things you shouldn’t do on Instagram when you have a girlfriend]
You might think this is all very anti-climatic, because I’m basically suggesting that how to make a relationship official comes down to doing nothing, but surely it’s better to keep the whole thing between the two of you? It doesn’t mean you’re hiding things, you’re just not going over the top to keep posting things on a social media platform, which basically screams “look at me, I finally have a partner!” You’re better than that, surely. [Read: Dating for 3 months? Warning signs your relationship will end]
It’s about that calmness that you have in your relationship because you’ve had a conversation about what you’re doing and where you’re going and you both know that you’re on the same page. It’s about being able to enjoy the stages of your relationship without having to keep updating your followers about the ins and outs of your day trips and evenings out and what you had for dinner. There is a certain amount of privacy that needs to be maintained in a relationship if you want it to thrive and grow.
[Read: How to show off your girlfriend on social media in a way she’ll love]
Far too many people go official in the most extra-public of ways. Please don’t be that couple! Knowing how to make a relationship official doesn’t need a huge Insta-announcement and it doesn’t need to have endless photos of kissing and hugging via a Facebook timeline.
[Read: 9 relationship stages all couples have to go through]
Understanding how to make a relationship official just needs to be a conversation and choice between two people who have decided to deepen their relationship and take it to another level. That’s really all there is to it!
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