Back in the day *and by “back in the day” I mean before social media*, there were attention seekers, but they weren’t quite so obvious about it as they are these days. Social media has added a whole new dimension to the term, attention seeker.
They’re literally everywhere on social media, spreading their need and desperation to be showered with attention. But why do people need to seek attention?
Well, the short and easy answer is because it makes them feel good. Most attention seekers also happen to have low self-esteem, so they compensate for that lack by fishing for attention.
[Read: The most obvious thirst trap signs that scream “I want attention” on Instagram]
If you’re an attention seeker, then that’s already not a good thing. Not only does this mean every action you do is for the purposes of getting attention, but you also have low self-esteem. When you’re an attention seeker, you also belong to the category of people that are superficial and narrow.
All you care about is your social media status or your physical appearance, or even your reputation. You care so much about your image on Instagram or how your feed looks when none of this really matters *or should matter* in real life.
Also, when you’re an attention-seeker, it’s highly possible for you to enter codependent relationships or toxic relationships and friendships. And finally, if you’re an attention seeker, your phone is most probably your entire life.
[Read: What makes someone seek attention & how to read these traits]
We all can usually see other people for who they are, but we might not be as good at looking within ourselves to see who we really are. That requires self-reflection, and a lot of people aren’t capable of it.
Or if they are, they simply are afraid of what they might see if they look at themselves too deeply.
So, let’s take a look at the characteristics of an attention seeker to see if maybe, just maybe, you might be one. [Read: Attention whore: 16 signs you’re an insufferable attention seeker]
The word “selfie” didn’t even exist until social media. But by 2013, the word was just common knowledge. Let’s think for a second about what a selfie is. Well, it’s a picture of yourself taken BY yourself, right? Hmmm. So as an attention seeker, you probably can’t go a day without taking a few selfies.
An average person only takes selfies when they’re somewhere memorable or on an occasionally good hair day. But if you take selfies every day? That’s already a red flag.
Also, attention seekers don’t take photos for themselves, they take selfies to fish for compliments from others when they post them. [Read: Attention whore – 16 signs you’re an insufferable attention-seeking person]
If you’re addicted to social media, then you just might be addicted to the attention it gives you. You might even have withdrawals if you aren’t on it for an hour or more. It bugs you. You just NEED to talk to people. Or so you think.
So if you can’t even be away from social media for an hour, it’s because of your desperation for attention.
After all, social media is a great place to be when everyone adores you, and people give you all kinds of compliments. [Read: Am I a narcissist? 10 simple questions to know the truth]
If you’re the kind of person who is always checking up on the number of likes you get on a photo or posting on social media, then you are really checking up to see how much attention you are getting.
Let’s take this a step further. If you feel depressed or bad about yourself when you don’t get “enough” likes, then you have a problem.
And if you even THINK about taking down a photo with fewer likes because it’s “embarrassing” that not enough people paid attention to you, then you are definitely an attention seeker. This is because you clearly care about what others think more than what you think of yourself!
Okay, so have you ever posted a status update like this, “I feel so fat today! Ughhh. Sometimes I just hate myself.” Well… have you? I bet you have. And do you know why you do it? I do! It’s because you want people to comment, “Oh no!! You’re skinny, beautiful, and you should love yourself!!!”
This is something only an attention seeker would do. You seek evident validation from others online by feeling sorry for yourself first. This is also where it’s evident the attention seekers don’t have enough confidence and self-esteem and seek it from others. [Read: How to stop being insecure – 15 steps to transform your life for good]
Have you ever been out partying on the weekend and suddenly jumped up on the bar and started to dance? Or maybe you jumped up on the stage at a concert? These wild and crazy acts are signs you are an attention seeker.
You want all eyes on you at any party and you love being the life of the party, and we don’t mean in a good way. Even if you make a total fool of yourself, you’re totally okay with that as long as you have everyone’s attention.
So, you text someone, and if you don’t hear from them immediately, you start to get pissed. How could they ignore you?! How rude!!! You always think people are duty-bound to respond to you and pay attention to you.
If you’re an attention seeker, you’ll take it personally when others offend you. Basically, you want people’s lives to revolve around you and nobody else. [Read: The science behind craving them more when they ignore you]
It’s really great that you work out. Seriously, it is. But if you’re the kind of person who feels the need to take a selfie every time you’re at the gym and post it on social media, well, you’re just looking for people to compliment you, your body, or your commitment to working out.
You’re fishing for those likes and comments that say how good you’re looking *which, you gotta admit, is the main reason you went to the gym*. [Read: How to take a good selfie & look cute every time you snap a photo]
I know someone who cannot – and I mean CANNOT – not take pictures everywhere she goes. And of course, these pictures go immediately on social media.
It’s exhausting to be with her because she’s never really present with you. So if you can’t avoid taking pictures wherever you do, you might be an attention seeker.
You’re basically always thinking about the next thing you’re going to post and what to caption it. Don’t you get exhausted seeking all that attention from others? [Read: Phubbing – And why this the rudest thing you can do to anyone]
If you feel like you might literally die if you lost your phone, it broke, or God forbid someone takes it away from you… well, you might be an attention seeker. Your phone is your best friend, your life, your everything. You’d practically become lifeless without it!
If you relate to this, it’s probably because you’re an attention seeker. You’re worried that someone’s messaging you or giving you the greatest compliment on your photo. A few hours off your phone isn’t going to hurt, you know?
Do you document every second of your life on social media? You know what I’m talking about. The minute you get up, you take a picture of your breakfast and say good morning to your peeps. Then it’s work postings, then what’s for dinner, then going to the gym, then good night.
If anyone actively watches your stories and feed, they practically know how it feels like to be you. You never get tired of posting on your social accounts, every day. If your every waking thought is what you’re going to post on social media, then you are an attention seeker. [Read: The different social media users that make you wanna scream]
Have you ever posted something like this, “I am so excited!! Really! Thank you, God!!!” If so, you’re just begging people to ask you what it’s about. You purposely leave them wondering about what made you so excited.
Look, unless you’re a celebrity, there’s no reason to post lines like these as your status. You’re only doing this to get attention from others.
Being an attention seeker isn’t limited to social media. If you find yourself dressing in a way that reveals a lot of skin just to catch the eye of others, well, you might be wanting to get a lot of attention from the opposite sex.
Yes, dressing up well shows your confidence and best features. But if your only intention is to seduce others with your body, and to tell yourself everyone sexually desires you, then you’re probably looking for the wrong kind of attention.
You’re not dressing that way to show confidence, you’re doing it to seek approval, compliments, and attention. [Read: Dangers of social media – Why it makes you feel so insecure]
If there’s an emotion that attention seekers love using to get attention, it’s obviously guilt. They won’t feel shame in using this on you. So if you’re one, you may often post online about your problems and issues. Maybe you constantly tweet about how your day sucks or how bad your hair looks.
You’re obviously fishing for compliments and waiting for someone to make you feel better through several compliments. You just love pitying yourself and playing the victim as an attention seeker. [Read: 7 reasons why playing victim makes your life worse]
When you care so much about your image and reputation, you pretend to be nice to anyone and everyone you come across. You want to desperately portray the perfect impression so most people like you.
The more people that like you, well, the more compliments you get! Even if they annoy you, you’d be willing to fake kindness and friendliness just to get more people on your side.
You spread these white lies constantly without any sense of remorse. You tell everyone how you went on this beach vacation with your boyfriend or how you only charter flights or use a private jet.
Of course, none of these stories are true, you just made them up to keep up with your cool image. Your reputation is everything as an attention seeker, and you’d go to extreme measures to fake it till you make it.
You seek attention from others constantly, either by flirting outrageously, smiling at them, or batting your lashes from afar. BUT when they give you attention in return, you pretend to despise it. And then, you go one step further and tell everyone within earshot just how tired you are of all the unnecessary attention you constantly receive from others.
The dark truth is, as an attention seeker, you want everyone’s attention, you lead people on and play with their feelings just to seek validation.
Even when it’s your best friend’s party or your boyfriend’s birthday, you must be the center of everything. They should be the star of their own celebration, but this is something you can’t tolerate.
So even on their big day, you end up stealing the spotlight. Every single time. When someone brings this up, you get all defensive and say you’re trying to give the best party for them. Again, you love playing the victim as an attention seeker.
[Read: How do people become self-centered and stop caring about others?]
Before I close this feature out, I want to say that if you are an attention seeker, I am not judging you. Hey, it’s okay. Really it is. But you might want to think about WHY you are one. What need is it fulfilling? And how can you fill that need in other, more productive ways?
[Read: People pleaser – 20 common signs most people just don’t see]
Believe it or not, we’re are all an attention seeker in one way or another. So, don’t worry – you’re not alone. However, you do need to balance it out. The world is fickle, and fame lasts just 15 minutes. You don’t want to hate the rest of your life because somewhere along the way, you forget who you are while desperately trying to seek attention from everyone around!
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