8 Very Obvious Signs You’re a Serial Monogamist
Do you jump from one romance to another all the time? Use these signs to know if you’re a serial monogamist who gets bored of old love very quickly!
Are you someone who has had a series of long-term relationships? Are you hanging on to an unhappy relationship because you fear being alone? Do you notice a pattern when it comes to the people you date?
If you have been dating someone for a while now, but the two of you still haven’t been able to take the next step together, it’s possible that you’re actually a serial monogamist.
Who is a serial monogamist?
If you’ve never heard the term, a monogamist is a person who is exclusive with one partner. But if you’re a serial monogamist, you are someone who continues to be in an exclusive relationship, one after the other, without ever having a break in between. A serial monogamist is a person who loves being in love, and always finds himself or herself in a relationship all the time!
Being a serial monogamist has its pros and cons. On one hand, you’re monogamous. You would never ever cheat on a partner, and no one likes infidelity! There will also be plenty of instant sparks and physical chemistry. On the other hand, the relationship will fizzle pretty quickly.
8 obvious signs you’re a serial monogamist
It should be noted that one gender isn’t more prone to serial monogamy. Both men and women can be serial monogamists. On a negative note though, many may see this as a turn-off, and may be wary of dating someone who is a serial monogamist.
Do you think you’re a serial monogamist? Learn what the 8 big signs of a serial monogamist are, and find out what you can do to change that, or understand yourself better.
#1 You start and form relationships easily.
Some may even think too easily. A serial monogamist doesn’t have any trouble finding someone to date. There is normally instant chemistry between the two of you, which may even have you easily smitten by them.
Oftentimes, however, you might commit too soon. Shortly after meeting this person, you’re quick to call them your boyfriend or girlfriend. There sometimes may even be talk early about moving in together and marriage. You eventually end up revolving your whole world around this other person. You want to know EVERYTHING there is to know about them: cats or dog? hot or cold? hamburger or hot dog? And that’s all great, but often in the process, you start to lose a bit of your identity in the relationship. And that isn’t so great. [Read: 10 reasons why saying ‘I love you’ too soon sucks!]
#2 You hate dating.
I mean, who doesn’t? However, you are someone who will avoid it all costs. Although you like the idea of dating, when it comes to actually trying it on, you can’t stand it. You need to be with one person, exclusively.
You don’t only like being in a relationship, but you actually prefer it. You enjoy the physical intimacy a relationship can offer. Although you have tried dating multiple people, you find yourself interested in only one particular person. [Read: Is serial monogamy easier on the heart? – Why so many people turn into serial monogamists]
#3 You have hardly *or never* been single.
Are you someone who hangs onto a relationship as long as possible *even if you’re unhappy* because the thought of being alone is far worse than being in a sour relationship? Do you fear that you might be alone forever? If you’re the type to bounce from one relationship to the next without ever being on your own in between, it’s possible that you could be a serial monogamist.
A serial monogamist tends to have to be with someone to feel complete. But there’s likely a void that you are using another person to fill. Perhaps you’re insecure and need the constant attention and approval from the opposite sex. This only proves that you’re not ready to be in a relationship.
If you’re not with someone, and it feels like your whole world is crashing down on you, it’s time to reevaluate yourself. Although you may think there’s a stigma attached to being single, it’s very important to take time for yourself. This can be a problem for serial monogamists because they can’t seem to stay single long enough.
#4 After one break up, you’re onto the next person.
This likely ties into why you’re never *or hardly* single. You are constantly on the rebound, and believe the quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Sometimes, when serial monogamists start to feel things fizzle with their current partner, they will keep their options open. They will start looking for other prospects, even before things have ended, just to be ready. Just to make sure they won’t be alone. [Read: 18 subtle signs you’re already having an emotional affair with someone without even realizing it!]
#5 You choose quantity over quality in a relationship.
At first, things are probably wonderful for the serial monogamist. There’s undeniable chemistry with the other person, but it ends very quickly. You not only go from one relationship to the next, but they’re generally short-lived. This is because your expectations are way too low.
Since you’re someone who is scared of being alone, it’s inevitable that you put quality aside and take whoever comes your way next. But for your own good, you really need to learn to be more selective in the dating process. [Read: 22 early warning signs of a bad new partner]
#6 You’re a romantic.
It’s true. You believe in the notion of one true love, and being with one person for the rest of your life. If you can’t see yourself with your current partner for the rest of your life, you end things. This could be why your relationships are so short lived. You are always actively seeking that one person for you though. Every time you meet someone new, you’re always so sure this is the one. But then a new prospect comes along, and the process starts all over again. [Read: The single’s guide to creating a perfect romantic meet cute in your life]
#7 Although you want to be in a committed relationship, you find yourself not being able to take the next step together.
Don’t get me wrong, serial monogamists want to commit to a long-term relationship. You truly want to take the next step in the relationship, whether it’s moving in together or getting married, but for some reason, you can’t.
After reaching a certain point in the relationship *maybe after a few months, or even a year or two*, things start to dwindle. You begin to feel trapped and almost claustrophobic with someone. The arguments ensue. Why is this? It’s likely because you fear the emotional intimacy a relationship has to offer. So in the end, you call it quits. [Read: 10 sure signs you’ve got the fear of long-term commitment]
#8 There’s more of a physical connection than emotional in your relationship.
Do you have this need to give physical affection to someone? Perhaps even crave it? Is your relationship based more on a physical level than emotional? This could be another sure sign that you’re a serial monogamist. If you can’t connect with your partner on an emotional level, it’s going to be hard to continue it.
Are you a serial monogamist?
Do any of these 8 signs sound like you? If you’re still unsure whether you’re a serial monogamist, take a look at your past experiences in relationships.
What should you do if you jump to different relationships, often only lasting a few years? It’s time to take a break from being in a relationship, a break being longer than one week, perhaps even a month or six. Although a terrifying idea, it’s crucial for you.
Being single isn’t the end of the world!
Oftentimes, you may confuse being alone with loneliness. Don’t! Contrary to what you believe, it’s actually healthy to be single. If you’re a serial monogamist and find yourself single for the first time in forever, this is your opportunity to find yourself and develop fully as a person. Use this time to find your hobbies and interests. This is your chance to do all of the thing you couldn’t do when you had a partner. But at the same time, it’s important to mourn the relationship and let yourself heal. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be so much fun too!]
Once you’re happy and comfortable on your own, that’s when you know you’re ready to be in a relationship again. That’s when you know you can be truly happy with someone else. It’s important to understand that you won’t be single for the rest of your life. You are going to grow and learn to love yourself. Don’t let being a serial monogamist hurt your prospect of meeting a really great person.
If you see these 8 signs of a serial monogamist in you, wean yourself off from your intimacy issues and your fear of boredom in an existing relationship. And if you’re single, try to understand yourself and your real wants first before plunging headfirst into a relationship.