Mastered the art of dating years ago and had your fair share of fun whilst you perfected your craft? Do you now feel like the chase no longer interests you?
Before delving into a serious relationship with someone, you have to have a serious relationship with yourself.
How you feel about yourself will affect how you feel about your partner. Whether it is working out for aesthetic purposes, or working on your career to prove something to yourself, always put yourself first before focusing on finding a mate.
Once you have discovered your personal strengths and weaknesses, you will be able to make room in your mind and heart for someone else. If you are literally all over the place and have no idea what you want in life, it will be reflected in your dating life. That is why those who are not ready to be in a serious relationship gravitate towards casual dating and sleeping around.
19 clear signs you’re ready for a serious relationship
As fun as casual dating may be, there comes a time in every serial dater’s life when they get tired of it all. It may happen tomorrow, it may happen 20 years from now, but there is no denying that it will happen one day. You will know deep down inside when that time comes. [Read: Is serial monogamy much easier and more fun?]
Assuming you are single, here are 19 signs that indicate you may be ready to invite someone special into your life and foster a serious relationship.
#1 Tired of the game. You have been in and out of meaningless relationships, had your fair share of one night stands, and flirted more times than you could ever keep track of. You suddenly feel this inexplicable yearning to stop and regroup your thoughts and emotions. You may be tired of not just the game, but of being single as well.
Fun is fleeting but true feelings and emotions are what stick. Although there is nothing wrong with being alone, you are tired of the singles game and want something more consistent. Slowing down is a clear sign of wanting to settle into something more meaningful.
#2 You know what you want. Gone are the days of making flaky choices and thinking of the present. Confidence in yourself, your abilities and your future is a sign that you are ready for a proper relationship. When you know what you want and do not apologize for being yourself, you tend to make better decisions. This applies to every facet of life, not just on an emotional level when deciding whether you are ready for a relationship. At the end of the day, when you are confident about yourself, you can take on the world no matter what.
#3 You feel good. You are probably ready for a serious relationship once you feel good being by yourself. You have realized that there is no need for a relationship to make you feel worthy and happy. Once you understand that being in a relationship is not about receiving love but rather, it is about giving the excess love that you have for yourself away, that is when you can say that you are ready for a significant other.
At the end of the day, being with someone is not about filling that empty void inside you. It is about expanding the love that you have and sharing it with someone special. [Read: 11 steps to fall in love with yourself first and be a much better YOU]
#4 Take your time. You are most likely ready for a long term relationship when you find yourself taking your time to get to know someone. Instead of mindlessly flirting to get into the other person’s pants, you take the initiative to talk and engage the other person in things that you are both passionate about.
It does not matter if the two of you discuss the state of the economy or your favorite yoga poses, so long as you make an effort to engage in interesting conversation with the sole purpose of getting to know the person, you are on the right track. [Read: 60 fun questions to get to know each other without being intrusive]
#5 Financially stable. It does not mean that broke people do not deserve to be in a relationship. It simply refers to the fact that if you are financially stable, you have more time and freedom to focus on making your relationship work as opposed to constantly worrying about where your next meal is coming from and whether you will be able to make rent this month.
#6 Emotionally available. If you are emotionally available and are not prone to getting angry at the world for no apparent reason, you are more likely to be ready for a relationship than someone who is an emotional wreck. You have to be ready to accept someone else into your life to make a serious relationship work, and the only way to do so is to be emotionally satisfied with yourself first. [Read: 16 signs you’re clearly not ready for a serious relationship]
#7 Over your ex. If you are not over your last relationship, you are certainly not ready for a new one. It is as simple as that. Make an effort to invite new and positive energy into your life even if it means severing all thoughts and ties with your ex if you have to. There is no point dwelling on the past if your goal is to progress in your future. [Read: 10 signs your past relationship is stopping you from having a better life]
#8 You have interests. You should have other interests in your life besides heading to the club every other day and flirting the night away. If you are able to indulge in healthy activities that make you happy, improve your lifestyle and make you a better person, then you are on your way to becoming ready for a serious relationship.
You have to realize that leading a fulfilling life does not mean investing your time and energy into doing something you enjoy then dropping everything for your relationship. It is about finding happiness in things that you enjoy and making room for someone special in your life.
#9 No need to conform. Once you have released the pressure to conform to society, you will find that you will be a happier person. That in turn will lead you to be more prepared to share your life with someone else. Societal conventions such as getting married by a certain age, excelling in work no matter how detrimental it is to your happiness, judging people on what they wear and so on can put a strain on your ability to be happy and ready for a serious relationship. [Read: 5 important lessons to know while dealing with judgmental people]
#10 You are grateful. Once you feel grateful and realize that you have a wonderful life no matter how rough things are, you are probably ready for a serious relationship. It will also help you realize that relationships encompass ups and downs and that there will be bad days no matter how hard you try to avoid them. Once you can cope with those feelings and still be grateful for what you have, you are ready to share your life with someone.
#11 Fine being single. Before you can ride off into the sunset with the person of your dreams, you first have to be happy being alone. There is nothing wrong with being single before finding that someone special. It gives you the opportunity to learn and appreciate who you are as an individual. Once you are happy being alone, you will realize that you should not dive into a relationship just for the sake of it. [Read: 15 essential relationship tips for single women]
#12 No need to be saved. Being in love with someone and sharing your life with them does not mean that they are saving you from loneliness. You should abandon all thoughts or philosophies that claim your significant other was sent to “save” you. Forget that mumbo jumbo and accept the fact that you found your partner because you were ready and deserve it, not because they were meant to “heal” you. Love should be pure and unhinged from and unrelated to your past.
#13 Honor yourself. Once you are able to fully honor and respect yourself, you are probably ready for a serious relationship. Do what makes you happy and be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. Only when you succeed in making the most of your self worth and be comfortable in your own shoes can you say that you are ready to let someone else in. Always remember that if you are not satisfied with yourself, you will never be satisfied with your partner. [Read: 13 happy things you need to have a really happy life]
#14 Zero expectations. Forget about ever ending up with a Ryan Gosling or Eva Green clone. Accept the fact that it is most likely not going to happen. Snap out of your fantasy and eliminate your expectations. You will find that life will become so much more beautiful.
Although there is nothing wrong with setting standards, if you are too picky and disregard every potential partner who floats your way simply because you set unrealistic expectations, you will end up being in a relationship that is doomed to fail. [Read: 10 harsh dating rules to make dating work for you]
#15 Happy inside. If you are happy inside, it will shine through. Once you are happy and satisfied with life and all that you have achieved, you will send out positive vibes and attract like-minded souls. It is only a matter of time before you meet your special someone who will be on the same page as you, setting the stage for a serious relationship.
#16 There is such a thing as “right” timing. With everything going on in your life, you have to understand that there is a “right” time to meet someone. Once you realize that, you are well on your way to being ready for a proper relationship. Although the love of your life is not going to show up at an appointed place or time, you can bet your bottom dollar that the timing has to be right for things to last.
If you are in the middle of a nasty divorce, focusing on getting that well deserved promotion or want to focus on finding yourself, then you can say that it is not the right time to delve into a serious relationship as your focus and heart is not going to be in it. The magic will happen when all the pieces of the puzzle are in place.
#17 Refuse to settle for looks. Once you refuse to settle for just anything that comes along, it proves that you are ready for something serious. Choosing a long term mate is not all about just looking good. As cliché as it seems, it is the inside that counts. You know that you are grown up and ready for something serious once you can confidently say no to a hot piece of ass with a birdbrain and hold out for someone with more substance instead.
#18 Learn from past mistakes. There is no point in being in a serious relationship if you are going to repeatedly make the same mistakes. Whether it is falling for the same type of womanizer, behaving in the same possessive manner that drove your last spouse away, or committing adultery, you are not ready for a serious partnership if you are going to behave the same way you did in the past.
You are kidding yourself if you say, “Oh, but that is who I am.” The whole point of aging is to learn from our mistakes and try to be a better person. If you do not learn the life lessons you are supposed to, then you are certainly not ready to be with someone. [Read: 15 love lessons you can learn from your own breakups]
#19 Stop searching. Life works in mysterious ways and the old saying that harps on, “You will fall in love when you least expect it” rings loud and true for most happy couples. Stop actively pursuing a spouse and you will find that everything will fall into place.
When you actively push for something that is not ready to happen, you are unconsciously changing the course of how things are supposed to be. Everything is meant to happen for a reason, so just be the best that you can be and before you know it, you will meet the love of your life.
At the end of the day, you will know when you are ready for a serious relationship. Love yourself, enjoy your life, and whether your next relationship lasts a lifetime or not, always remember that everything happens for a reason and to never regret anything that made you happy.
[Read: 10 things you do naturally that’ll bring your soulmate closer to you]
If you find yourself experiencing these 19 signs you’re ready for a serious relationship in your life, it’s a sure fact that you’re ready to give up the hookups and look for someone who hooks you for a long commitment!
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