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30 Effective Tips to Help You Win at Online Dating

Online dating is starting to become a popular and favored way to find people to date. Read on to find out how you can be an expert online dater.

online dating

Dating organically has been the norm for millennia, but now that online dating is here to stay, you can easily find your perfect match in a sea of eligible daters within a specific range. Using advanced algorithms, online dating sites can help you find the most compatible match in just a few minutes.

It sounds like an awesome deal, right? Unfortunately, it’s not as easy as it sounds. Even though your choices are exponentially better, you are still dealing with actual human beings. The same principles apply when you’re dating. The difference is that your motives are more transparent when you start off with online dating. So, how do you apply yourself in order to maximize your full potential? [Read: 9 social media sites to use to get a date]

Write an awesome bio

#1 Keep your bio short. Some people enjoy reading autobiographies, but the majority of online daters want to read your whole life’s story in just a few sentences.

#2 Answer all the questions honestly. Some sites use questionnaires to find their clients a suitable match. When answering these questions, answer honestly, because you might just slip and end up looking like a liar.

#3 Mind your spelling and grammar. As shallow as it sounds, a lot of people still nitpick over typos. People make mistakes, but the initial reaction to mistakes like this is that people will assume that you don’t pay attention and aren’t making an effort to put your best foot forward.

#4 Try not to be so negative. No one likes a Debbie Downer. Even if you don’t like a lot of things in life, it’s better if you focus on the things that you do like instead. [Read: Is your negative thinking ruining your life?]

#5 Be confident, but don’t be full of yourself. You may be the hottest person within a ten-mile radius, but no one wants to see you wax poetic about how glossy your hair is.

Sharing your hobbies and interests

#6 Put at least three examples of your favorite things like movies, hobbies, food, books, etc. Write down the most significant and important ones, because that will guarantee a riveting conversation with someone who likes the same things you do.

#7 Don’t put more than five of each. Your profile is not Goodreads or your IMDB watchlist. The people who read your profile will get squinty-eyed just trying to get through a long list of interests.

#8 Make sure that you have something to say about them. Make sure that you can carry a conversation about the topics that you wrote down. You will only end up looking pretentious, if you can’t discuss anything about the things that you supposedly like.

#9 Don’t write something down just because it sounds cool. Like I said, don’t look like an idiot who just wants to look cool by writing down Breaking Bad, when in reality, you know more about the Real Housewives.

Choosing your photos

#10 Choose your most appealing photos. Everyone knows when they look good. That is why you should immortalize that moment with a photo and put it out there.

#11 Make sure you have at least one presentable photo without makeup. You won’t always be at your most glamorous self. You don’t need to post a photo you took the moment you woke up, but do post one that shows you doing something mundane without caking yourself up in makeup.

#12 No filters allowed. Filtering selfies are all well and good, but using filters to alter your appearance to extreme levels can turn off the most discerning people who look at your profile. Over-filtering can seem tacky, but a simple lighting edit is acceptable.

#13 Don’t upload repetitive photos. You know what really sucks? Posting the same selfie with different angles. Show people that you have a life other than the one you spend in front of your bathroom mirror. [Read: 8 annoying social media users that make you want to scream]

#14 Don’t upload blurry or grainy photos. This is the Kiss of Death of online dating photos. Most people will write you off and ignore your profile when you post a low-quality photo.

#15 Have at least one shot that shows your physique. Some people prefer a certain body type when looking for a partner. Add at least one picture that shows them a general idea of your body type.

#16 Look like your photo! One of the worst pet peeves that online daters report is people who don’t look like their actual photos. False advertising gets you nowhere. You’ll only feel worse when the person you’re seeing calls you out on your duplicity.

Making the first move

#17 A good opener guarantees a close. Be original. Make it count. Say something that you’re sure no one else has ever used before.

#18 A simple “Hey,” “Hi” and “What’s Up” or any variation is only 10% effective. If you want to make an impression, use an effective pick up line. If you’re not feeling creative, use longer greetings like: “How’s it going?”, “What are you up to?” or “What are you doing these days?” A little effort can go a long way.

#19 Pay attention to their profile. Try to start with something that references their profile. Pander to a person’s ego and you will find that the results are almost always positive.

#20 Do not compliment women on their appearance. Nothing irks a woman more than a guy who only notices her for her appearance. Some girls are vapid enough to take your compliment at face value, but we can’t guarantee anything more than a superficial arrangement like a hook-up.

#21 Make sure to compliment men on their appearance. It’s different with guys, because they rarely get any feedback on their appearance. Most girls are reluctant to compliment a guy’s appearance, because they think it’s shallow. But in reality, it may be more appreciated than you think. [Read: 25 compliments that a guy will never forget]

Replying to people

#22 Always follow up with questions that require open-ended answers. Don’t ask questions that require a yes or no answer. Prompt people to elaborate so the conversation keeps on going.

#23 If someone doesn’t reply for more than a couple of days, move on. Don’t be the incessant, creepy person who follows up on unanswered messages every few days. If they don’t reply after a couple of days, the conversation’s dead.

What to talk about

#24 Never pretend you know more than you do. You can easily get called out on your bullshit, especially if you’re talking to a well-read person.

#25 Always be yourself. The only way you can find someone you can connect with is if you don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.

#26 Learn to listen. If you’re a good listener, people are more likely to trust you and feel comfortable around you.

#27 If the person who’s talking to you seems uninterested, you can try to keep the conversation going or just chalk it up to a failed connection. ‘Nuff said.

Closing the deal

#28 Don’t let the conversation go on for more than a few days without asking for a number or any other way to connect. Dating profiles don’t last as long as phone numbers and social media profiles. The person you like can disappear at any time. Ask for their contact details before they disappear from your life forever.

#29 Ask them out as soon as possible. A face-to-face is ultimately much better than a long-running online conversation. The chemistry’s more evident, and you have more to go on than a bunch of emojis.

#30 Leave a lasting, but good, impression. Don’t be like every other girl or guy out there. Stop using clichéd statements and thought processes. Have an opinion. Make a joke or two. Enjoy the moment.

[Read: 14 important dos and don’ts of online dating]

Finding a date online can be a daunting process, but it can also be very rewarding. Sign up to a site that suits your needs, and start working on your profile. Remember, your online presence is a reflection of who you are in real life. So, find someone you like, strike up a conversation, and let everything fall into place.

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Danielle Anne
Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...
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