“Why do people hate me?” That is an awful question to have to ask yourself. But, if you find it creeping its way into your thoughts regularly, it is becoming a real problem.
Sure, not everyone will like you. That is part of life. But hate is a pretty strong word. Hate is more than a dislike or indifference. Hate means someone actively has negative feelings toward you.
They don’t talk to you, or worse, are mean to you. This sucks. It is not pleasant to feel like people hate you. And instead of accepting it, you probably want to fix it. Or at the very least, know why people hate you.
And there is always a reason. Sometimes it is your fault, and other times it isn’t. It can be due to some character flaws you don’t realize you have or can be more about the person who hates you than you.
Having the thought, “why do people hate me” lingering in your mind isn’t something that should be happening. So, you have to figure out if these negative emotions are because of you… or because of them. [Read: Learn how to stop caring what others think about you]
First things first, people may not hate you. Oftentimes when someone is asking themselves this question, they are projecting.
Others probably aren’t putting in the effort to hate, but you feel that way. Yes, your feelings are valid, but digging deeper to find the cause of those isn’t about others. It is about you.
Do people really hate you, or do you? If you are struggling with low confidence, you may dislike yourself or even hate yourself. If you don’t like certain things about your personality, you could simply be projecting that onto others. [Read: 15 reasons why people might hate you]
This doesn’t sound good, but most people aren’t thinking about you as often as you are. They are so worried about themselves, and if other people like them, they aren’t concerned about you.
So, while you’re worried and wondering about why people hate you, they probably aren’t even considering you.
Sure, sometimes people do hate you or dislike you. And we’ll get to all the reasons why, but before we get there, consider the alternative. [Read: Stop self-loathing… You’re better than that]
People don’t hate you. You just think they do.
In a lot of cases, people don’t hate you as much as you may think. But, in others, they just might.
Even though it’s not realistic to think everyone will like you, there are some reasons why they might. If you’re asking yourself, “why do people hate me?” these reasons may give you some answers. [Read: The truth – why people are mean and extra rude to happy and nice people]
Jealousy is a powerful emotion – and it’s an ugly one. But so many people are jealous of others who are more successful than they are.
This success could mean simply that you did better in school or have a higher-paying job.
Yeah, it sounds stupid, but it’s what keeps the whole competitive wheel in motion. People don’t like feeling like losers. [Read: How to stop being jealous of someone else’s success]
This is usually the top reason why someone would hate you without having a significant reason. Who wants to admit that they’re flawed?
The point is, they probably have more in common with you than you’d realize. They are like you, and that’s why they hate you.
You know that character in your favorite TV show that you find to be cringy and hard to watch? [Read: Why people are mean and extra rude to happy and nice people]
It isn’t because they are opposite to you, but probably because they remind you of the things you don’t like so much about yourself. Make sense?
Maybe people hate you because, at one point, you both had the same job, but you got the raise, and they were demoted.
Now, every time they see you, they’re reminded of the time when they were told they were less than what you are. [Read: Feel like a failure? 23 truths to stop feeling defeated and find your way]
This has nothing to do with you but is about their failures and shortcomings.
People may hate you simply because you have qualities that they lack. Maybe you have more Instagram followers, a close circle of friends, and a new car – yeah, this sounds stupid and shallow, but it’s true.
When you compare yourself to others, you get filled with negative emotions for those you wish you were more like. [Read: Ways to stop negative people from sapping your energy]
It is why even when your friends are happy in a relationship, and you want to be happy for them, some of you feel bitter.
Imagine that you’re sitting next to someone’s boyfriend and talking to them socially, and all of a sudden, their girlfriend comes and gives you a hateful glare.
You’ve never spoken to her in your life, but you’re talking to her boyfriend, and that’s too close for comfort. You’re perceived as a threat. [Read: Envious friends – 18 signs of friendly envy and what makes them feel it]
Do you want her boyfriend? No. But for her, you’re walking into her territory.
Someone can hate you for something small and insignificant. But, again, this is more about how they see themselves and has nothing to do with you.
People need to feel safe. Do you typically hang out with people you feel unsafe around? Exactly. [Read: Am I a narcissist? 24 narcissistic personality disorder causes and big signs]
It could be just the fact that you’re a stranger that they don’t know, or maybe you like to live on the wild side of life. Either way, if it puts people’s safety in question, you’re probably not their favorite.
You just love to name-drop and flash all the diamonds on Instagram. There are probably a decent amount of people who think you’re cool, but most people will hate you for this.
Why? Because it is tacky and classless. Plus, mix that in with a little jealousy…and there you go, you have hate. [Read: 18 signs of self-centered people and the best ways to confront them]
You went to Yale, we know, we ALL know. And with that Arts degree, you’re the Einstein of our generation, or at least you’d like to think so. Being a know-it-all is not sexy or intellectual. It is a way of putting others down.
Yet, this is a behavior people don’t always realize they are showing off. Even if you always know the answer or want to correct people, let things go.
No one wants to be made to feel dumb. Be a little humble and modest with your thoughts. [Read: 23 secret signs of narcissism people overlook until it’s too late]
It’s always only about you. In fact, no one can remember when you were there to help them with an issue they had.
They only remember sitting beside you when you were dumped or went bankrupt. You’re selfish.
Being selfish can stem from a lot of things, like a former relationship or your childhood. [Read: 20 ways to stop being selfish]
But these are excuses. If you look back and realize you might be selfish, it might be time to reconsider some things.
You actually don’t have any true friends. All the friends you have are due to your own self-interest. You befriended someone for a favor or to get ahead.
Though it works initially, people start to notice fairly quickly, especially when you only call them when you need something. [Read: 27 signs of emotional manipulation to know if you’re being used by someone]
People don’t like being used. It’s a pretty easy way to get people to hate you.
If you want to get people to hate you, then lie. It’s the most efficient way. Lying breaks trust in people. Thus, they start to dislike you.
Whether you lie about important things or are a pathological liar, lying for no reason is unattractive, unnecessary, and a reason for people to hate you. [Read: How to stop lying to yourself and the people in your life]
So, if you can’t even be honest with what you had for breakfast, maybe you need to seek some therapy. Because lying won’t get you any friends.
If you’re someone who questions and critically analyzes, people aren’t going to like you much.
Should you care about this? No. Because you’re one of the rare ones. Keep thinking, and hopefully, someone else will join you. [Read: 15 highs and lows of dating someone smarter than you]
So, you’re a talker. It’s not a bad thing. It is bad that you never let anyone else talk, and then you cut them off when they try to. This also means you’re a poor listener. Even quiet people like to be heard.
Next time you ask, “why do people hate me?” take a breath before talking. You can be the star of the conversation without completely running it.
The whole point of socialization is for people to talk and build relationships. If they wanted to listen to you preach, they would join a church or sit in a lecture. [Read: Do you love talking and hate listening?]
That’s right. If someone is in a good mood, you make sure you get some of what they’re having. You just take and take and take until they’re pruning up in the corner.
People tend to stay away from people who literally suck the energy out of them. You have to change that by finding your own energy.
Everyone needs help now and again, but asking too much of others is more than annoying. If you need handholding for every little thing, people will find you needy and clingy. [Read: Am I clingy? 23 signs of a stage clinger and how to stop being one]
No one wants to be around someone like this. It seems like you are playing the victim and want attention.
When someone craves attention and help like this, it tends to have the opposite effect.
Being a spoiled brat may not be your fault *HI, Mom and DAD!* But, you can stop it once it comes to light. [Read: Helpful ways to stop being a self-centered person]
Being spoiled means you don’t see things the way the rest of the world does. You don’t realize some people can’t just replace their phone or laptop if it breaks.
Not everyone was raised with a maid, their own room, or even a roof over their head. You expect things to be given to you that others have to work really hard for and don’t even realize.
Open your eyes to reality, and people will stop hating you. [Read: How to tell if you’re the toxic one]
Being judgmental is just not okay. It doesn’t matter if you have your beliefs or religion. You can live your life how you want. But, when you take those beliefs and judge others for their choices, it crosses a line.
Whether you judge others behind their back or to their face, this makes people hate you, and honestly, for a good reason. You are not perfect. You have no right to judge others.
Not willing to budge or even hear someone out? This can make people hate you. They may not be right for hating you, but you aren’t right either. [Read: Am I manipulative? 20 sneaky signs you manipulate the people in your life]
Most things you are close-minded about are probably not black and white. Things need conversation and thought. If you are unwilling to hear someone’s side or something, it can make people hate you pretty easily.
You rely on others to function. The way you see yourself depends on how others see you. [Read: How to spot codependent behavior early and regain your self-identity]
You get all of your self-esteem and confidence through others’ vision of you, not your vision of yourself.
This can not only come off as clingy or needy, but it is unhealthy. Relying on others for how you view yourself is dangerous and toxic. People don’t want to have that much responsibility for how you feel. [Read: Do you have codependent traits that make you clingy?]
If you read through this and thought, “but I don’t do any of these things.” You do… and that’s the problem. If you think you’re unflawed, well, you clearly live in a bubble. Pop it, and then reread this feature.
This can be so annoying – especially when you’re out to eat. Hearing someone chew very loudly from the next table isn’t only irritating, it’s unappetizing.
No one wants to hear someone else’s food smacking around in their mouth. ICK! [Read: Ways to ignore someone who’s annoying you]
Not only is this very rude to the other people around, but it’s also usually done while talking about something ridiculous and not at all relevant to what’s going on.
Anyone who is obviously talking above everyone else so loud that it’s distracting and ruining someone’s time is the worst type of person. 23. You interrupt people
This is probably one of the universal things people hate. Being interrupted is horrible. [Read: How to ignore people who are ruining a perfectly good day]
It’s annoying, disrespectful, and you can’t finish what you were saying as planned because you have someone cutting off your train of thought. There’s not much more annoying than being interrupted when you’re telling a story.
This one is a little difficult to talk about because people don’t really have control over what their laugh sounds like. However, there are people with very loud, over-the-top laughs that can get really annoying if heard over and over again. [Read: How not to be annoying and be everyone’s best friend]
Yes, people are supposed to be polite. However, there’s a difference between saying hello and trying to talk to someone who is clearly not interested.
This is when people make unnecessary small talk about the weather or birds or cars or any other pointless topic. It’s downright annoying. [Read: Clever ways to get out of an annoying conversation]
This is one of the things people hate that most people also do. Most people hate horrible drivers, but yet they, too, are also horrible drivers.
Not because they mean to be, but sometimes you miss a turn and have to drive badly in order to make that U-turn back. It sucks. It’s dangerous. And yes, it’s extremely irritating.
Hey, the speed limit is important – to a certain extent. Let’s be real, you can go over the speed limit safely by like 5-10 mph.
Sure, people who are driving “slowly” are only driving the speed limit but it’s annoying when the rest of the traffic is going so much faster. [Read: Petty Percy – 18 signs of a petty person that make them so annoying]
This can also be dangerous since it disturbs the flow of traffic.
This one isn’t so much annoying as it is uncomfortable. When people make eye contact with you, it usually means they’re staring.
And staring is definitely another one of the things people hate most. Let’s keep our eyes to ourselves, thank you! [Read: Why do guys stare at girls so much?]
This one might top the list of things people hate because of how gross it is. When you’re talking to someone and they keep spitting all over the place, it can be very annoying.
You basically have to dodge their spit whenever they open their mouths. Most people prefer not to walk around with a towel just to clean up someone else’s spit.
This is SUPER irritating. If you don’t know someone well and they try to act like your best friend, it’s irritating. [Read: Fake friends – 42 signs and ways to tell them apart from real friends who care]
Usually, people who do this get too close, they talk to you about way too personal of things, and they try to insert themselves into your life – usually by inviting themselves to your events. No thanks.
Being fake will get you nowhere and yet, people seem to think it’ll move them higher up in the world. So many people act fake toward you like you’re not going to notice.
But the thing is, it’s super obvious. Who wants someone acting nice to them only to talk crap about them behind their back? No one. [Read: Ways to instantly recognize fake people and stay away]
Need we say more? This is so obviously rude and disrespectful to those who paid to see a great movie. Quit shining that bright light and distracting everyone!
A great story is awesome – if it’s told well. There are some people out there who are the worst storytellers ever.
They take so long to tell a story and they only put in the unnecessary, boring details. This is definitely one of the things people hate most. [Read: People who talk too much – why they do it and 21 ways to handle them]
Whistling can be fun and it can help you be productive, but it’s super annoying to other people. People hear that and just want to claw their eyes out!
It’s way too irritating. Keep the whistling inside your head – nobody wants to hear it.
If you think nobody is looking, there’s always someone who is. And it is disgusting to see. First of all, you should never pick scabs. [Read: Ways to stop being boring and annoying around people]
They’re nature’s Band-Aid and they prevent scarring if you leave them alone to heal. Popping your zits in public should just never be a thing. It’s so gross and it’s one of the things people hate the most.
Dealing with people who hate you can be the worst. You can’t just shut them down like you can other people. They hate you! And that means they’ll go out of their way to hurt you if they want.
But now that you may know some of the reasons people hate you, it is time to do something about it.
Here’s how to deal with it. [Read: How to stand up for yourself and get what you deserve]
This is really the best thing you can do to deal with the haters. If they’re not affecting you, they’re not winning. Don’t let them get the upper hand by responding and lashing out at them. They’ll never go away.
If you really want to get rid of them, you just have to ignore them. Sometimes, this will seem impossible but it’s really your best option.
Don’t give them the satisfaction of getting to you. Forget that they even exist and you’ll be happier for it. [Read: Ways to ignore someone who mentally stresses you]
If you know someone hates you, it’s a horrible idea to antagonize them. They already have the motive to work against you and making them angry will only make your life worse.
You never want to egg on someone who hates you. They’ll go out of their way to make your life miserable and you’ll regret it.
If you can, just avoid doing anything that’ll make them angry. If they get mad at you for just living your life, that’s their problem. [Read: How to be nice – 20 easy tips to make everyone love being around you]
Sometimes the only way to deal with someone who hates you is to put yourself in their shoes. Why do they not like you so much? What’s the problem?
If you did something to upset them, knowing what it was can help you apologize and possibly move past the incident.
Most of the time, it’s just a misunderstanding that can be easily resolved with communication. Approach them and ask what the issue is so you can both move on. [Read: Tips for a hassle-free relationship with a coworker]
If you want to know how to deal with people who hate you, you’ll need to know how to avoid them like the plague. They don’t want to be around you. More importantly, it won’t be good for you to be around them.
You’re only fueling the fire by being around them all the time. When they just get angry and hateful around you, it’s best to just not be around them as much as possible.
This means you’ll just have to not acknowledge them at all. If you lash out and hate them back just because they hate you, you’re not being the bigger person. You’re actually just stooping down to their level. [Read: Ways to deal with judgmental people easily]
That won’t be good for anyone. Just ignore the fact that they hate you and if you need to communicate with them – like if they’re a coworker – just act respectfully.
Once they realize you’re acting like a mature adult, they may lay off a bit.
Sometimes when someone is jealous, it manifests as hatred. They could just be upset that you have a better life than they do. Most of the time, it’s because they don’t know the real you. [Read: 25 Signs to tell if someone is jealous of you and doesn’t wish you well]
If you open up to a person and show them that, despite what they may see, you have a hard life too. Knowing that they don’t have much to envy, you can definitely help their hatred simmer down.
When someone hates you, they may try to break you down. They’ll basically bully you until you can’t stand it anymore. You may even end up going home feeling bad about yourself if that’s the case.
You need to stand up for yourself sometimes. When someone is actually bullying you, go ahead and tell them to knock it off. They don’t have a right to do that. [Read: Standing up for yourself and having self-respect affects your relationships]
If they hate you for no reason or for a really bad reason, just tell them off. Sometimes that’s the only way to learn how to deal with people who hate you.
It’s really great to find out why someone hates you because it can be funny. Find some humor in it. They could hate you for the dumbest reason and instead of getting angry about it, just laugh.
Not only does this make it easier to deal with them, but they’ll stop hating you so much when they realize you enjoy it. [Read: Types of humor and how it affects relationships]
They don’t want to add to your happiness, so they’ll end up leaving you alone.
Sometimes people try to change another’s mind. They think that if they show the person who hates them just how great they are, they’ll stop hating them. That’s just not usually the case.
Sometimes you just have to accept that someone doesn’t like you. You’ll go through life dealing with those types of people all the time. [Read: How to get over hate when it’s just not worth it]
You need to learn how to accept hatred if you ever want to know how to deal with people who have you.
Lastly, never change who you are to please others. It’s not worth it. If someone doesn’t like you, who cares?
You’re not on this planet to get every single person to like you. Don’t sacrifice who you are just for someone else to stop hating you. [Read: How to be true to yourself and start living life on your terms]
The best piece of advice is to go to therapy and be honest. Be 100% honest. Tell them your flaws and what you want to work on and why you think people hate you.
Tell them why you are worried about how others see you and why that means so much to you.
A professional can guide you in the ride direction. Not only will more people like you, but more importantly, you will learn to like yourself and become a better person.
[Read: How to make new friends – 15 ways to do it right as an adult]
Now you know why you ask, “why do people hate me” and you can stop. Listen, it could be a combination of things, but looking at yourself is the best place to start. Let’s reduce the amount of hatred.
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