I know it may sound silly to have dating goals but trust me when I say they can help you out in the long run. There are certain things you should be on the lookout for in a new partner. And there are certain expectations that should be met when you’re dating someone new.
If you’re just going out with people for the fun of it and you’re not concerned with finding “the one,” then this may not apply to you. However, if you’re been searching for someone to spend your life with but haven’t had success, then having some dating goals may be helpful.
Why you need to set high expectations right away
Dating is really hard. Being with someone new isn’t an easy thing to do. But one thing that makes it harder is not having expectations at all. When you don’t set expectations, you allow yourself to get caught up in something that can never work.
Therefore, you should always make sure you set high expectations right off the bat. I’m not talking about walking into a date and listing off things you need from them. I’m talking about making sure they know why you’re dating them and where you want it to go. [Read: How to manage your expectations in a new relationship]
Dating goals to have when you’re with someone new
If you’re someone who regularly sets goals, this should be no problem for you. It’ll be just like any other list of goals you make. But if you’ve always dated people at random and hoped for the best, this may be a little harder.
Everyone should have certain goals when it comes to dating someone new. You shouldn’t be dating people without having expectations of your own. And if you really want to find that special someone, these are the dating goals you should have.
#1 Date someone who respects your time. I think a lot of people don’t realize just how important this expectation is to have. Our time is limited. We shouldn’t waste it. Therefore, you should date someone who respects your time and is aware that you’re giving up a lot by dating them.
If you’re dating someone who hardly gets back to you at all or in a timely manner, they’re certainly not worth it. Find someone else who will respect the time you give them. [Read: Wasting your time and 21 other signs of a bad boyfriend]
#2 Someone who shares your core values. You don’t need to have everything in common with the person you’re with. You can enjoy different types of music and movies and still have a successful relationship. That is, so long as you have the same core values.
One of your dating goals should be to find someone who shares your deepest beliefs. These are things like religion, your morals, and the things you value most. The things that make you who you are and direct your life should be shared with the person you’ll end up spending forever with.
#3 Someone who’s in it for the same reasons. You just can’t ignore when the person you’re dating isn’t on the same page as you. Put your expectations out there right away. Tell them you want someone who’s in it for the real thing.
You’re ready to find the one and you need to make sure they want to, too. If you just date anyone and hope that they want the same things as you, you could end up really hurt. Eventually, you’ll find out they’re just looking for some fun in the bedroom. [Read: 16 signs you’re not ready for a serious relationship]
#4 Date a person who has passions. It doesn’t really matter what those passions are – so long as they’re healthy and moral. You just want someone who is passionate about something. Make one of your goals to date someone like this. It’ll help show you who they are. Since our passions speak volumes about us, this is important.
#5 Someone who’s interested in your interests. This isn’t to say that they have to have the same hobbies as you. Actually, they may not even understand a hobby of yours at all. This is more of them finding interest in the things you love and care about.
You’re likely to pick up new hobbies and interests as life goes on and you need someone who is supportive of those things. It doesn’t matter if they don’t understand them. That’s why this should be on your list of dating goals. [Read: New relationship advice to have the perfect start in love]
#6 Date someone who isn’t shallow. First of all, shallow people are a huge turn off in general. However, you definitely need to have the expectation of dating someone who isn’t shallow. You should have a goal of finding someone who cares about the deeper qualities of a person.
Because beauty on the outside is fleeting. You’re adorable and good-looking for only a short amount of time. You will age. So you want to have someone by your side who still thinks you’re amazing because of what’s underneath the surface. [Read: Why inner beauty is more important than looks]
#7 Someone who can add value to your life. One of the dating goals you definitely need to have is being with someone who adds value to your life. If you’re the only person bringing anything good into the relationship and you’re receiving nothing, it’s a recipe for disaster.
A successful relationship is a two-way street. You both need to give and take. If they’re getting way more positive things from you and you’re getting nothing in return, it just won’t work out.
#8 Someone who envisions a similar life as you. This is something that needs to be high on your list of dating goals. You should be looking for someone who has the same vision of what a happy life looks like. If you two disagree on this, you’ll never be able to actually live a happy life with them without being unhappy about certain things. [Read: 50 fun relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly]
#9 A person you can laugh easily with. Life can get really tough and you will be faced with hard times. You need to find someone who can make you laugh and who you can laugh easily with.
During the toughest times, you’ll need that person to help lift your spirits and that’s why you’ll want to add this to your list of dating goals.
#10 Someone you can have deep discussions with. At the same time, you also need to find someone you can get serious with. All jokes and humor won’t cut it in the real world. Your expectations need to be deeper than that. [Read: 30 deep questions to ask someone before you get in too far]
You need to be able to talk about the difficult stuff and the meaningful things in life. Finding someone who can connect with you on a deeper level and who you can actually talk about meaningful things with is crucial to finding the person to spend your life with.
[Read: 15 real relationship goals most couples have no idea about]
There are a lot more dating goals you could have based on the things you feel are important, but these expectations are the main things you need to have in a partner in order to build a life with them.
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