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Threesome Sex or Three Times the Trouble?

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Threesome sex is in a league of its own. It’s not a fetish, but it’s not acceptable either. And while we sneer at threesomes on the outside, all of us want to do it, at least in our minds. So are threesomes tempting or are they just trouble? By Brad Palmer

threesome sex

Threesome sex. The fantasy of every man and the not-such-a-fantasy of some women.

While a great sex life is carnally gratifying and exhilarating, sometimes, we all need a bit of a fetish to keep our jollies up.

And could there be anything more fun that involving a third hottie into bed? [Read: How to start swinging]

Even if you haven’t succumbed to the lure of a threesome, I’m sure you’ve given it a thought. Haven’t you, you little perv?

There’s something about threesome sex that’s exciting and at the same time, forbidding.

In the 90’s, any talk about sex associated with three people was totally taboo. No one wanted to hear about it. But back in the 70’s, it was the rage, what with all the flower power, key parties, swing nights and the invention of LSD. [Read: Types of fetishes]

But threesome sex is in fashion again. We’re going back to the shagathons of the Romans, and we’re lovin’ it.

These days, it’s an open affair. Everyone wants to experience life on the wild side. And if you’ve done it already, I hope you had a great time!

Threesome sex and trouble

Threesomes are confusing affairs unless you’ve got a right head on your mind. [Read: Having an affair with a married man]

As much as there’s a chance that you’d have a great time, there are a few times when you know nothing’s going to go right.

My first girlfriend, I’m guessing, was bisexual. She wanted to have a threesome with me and her girlfriend. I refused. I was 21. I was too scared. Two years and three girlfriends later, I spent an entire night booting myself for having lost that opportunity! I learnt the hard way that not all my girlfriends actually were very interested in threesomes, especially when I wanted another woman, not a man, in bed with us.

But, what the hell, every dog has its day. I had my day thrice!!

Why is threesome sex hot?

Now, not everyone may share this opinion, but most people do. A threesome is hot, because it’s like tasting the forbidden fruit without actually stepping into the forbidden garden.

A few years into making out with each other and things can get quite monotonous. Well, there are other ways to bring back the oomph,  [Read: Fun on the beach] but for some, a threesome works just as fine. A threesome isn’t for everyone, and however appealing it may seem, it can have its bad impacts unless you’re really ready for it.

Do you really want to have a threesome?

The big question, do you really want to do this in the first place? You may have a crush on someone else, and think a threesome is the best way to have that fling without actually walking out on your mate.

Or let’s just say, your man’s friend is staying over at your place, and you’ve always had the hots for him. Trying to have a threesome just to satisfy your sexual needs isn’t really a good reason to do it. Instead, you can try dirty talking in bed instead. Of course, carnal pleasure is the most important excuse to have a threesome, but are you doing this at the cost of the relationship?

You can definitely have a threesome, but only if both of you want to do it, to experiment and try new things in bed. Never use threesomes only to have sex with someone you’ve always wanted. You may end up forgetting that your own lover is naked on the same bed, and devote yourself to the other person alone!

What’s your motive?

It is said that men love ménage à trois, a.k.a. threesomes a lot more than women, but more recently the balance has been tilting to equal favor and women are quite open to a fling thing with their mate.

But at times, lovers and partners tend to get selfish. They try to push their reluctant partners to have threesome sex when they don’t really want to do it.

It may just be a selfish power trip, trying to convince a partner to do what you want to do. On the other hand, it’s just a way to have an affair without actually coming across a circumstance when the person could get caught. If your motive is to have an affair with someone without the guilty conscience, it may not be for you.

A threesome should be about sharing each other and giving equal priority to all three involved. Agreeing to take part in a threesome to breathe life back into a failing relationship, to bring sexy back in love, or to stop your partner from leaving you, is probably going to backfire.

Damn, you shouldn’t have done that!

Normally, threesome sex is indulged in, by people who are in long term committed relationships. And normally, problems arise in these kinds of circumstances. If you’re still in college, having fun, with no steady mate, a threesome could just be a fun time, with happy memories.

But when a third person is brought into the long-term relationship, to share the same bed and the same partner you’ve been sharing for so long, things can get awkward.

If you’re having a threesome with a third woman, your woman wouldn’t be able to stop thinking if this is what you actually wanted. To have sex with another girl, using the pretext of a threesome. If you’re a guy, and there’s another guy in bed pounding your woman, you may not like this new man, who got to have sex with your woman, just after a brief talk! Either ways, a threesome leaves a lot of room for doubt and sad, sad thoughts.

When jealousy rears its head

Jealousy always affects a couple that’s trying to have a threesome. Insecure thoughts will torment both of you, if sex hasn’t been good for a while, but becomes mind blowing after the arrival of the third person.

“Is my partner not interested in me anymore?” “Am I just a scapegoat stuck in the middle of these two lusty lovers?” “She wants him with us because he’s better looking and has a bigger member than me?” “He’s kissing her a lot more than he’s kissing me, is he falling for her?” These are just a few of the innumerable thoughts that can race around both your heads, if you involve a third person into your bed.

The worst threesome move

There are many couples who’ve experimented with threesome sex and ended up in other people’s beds behind each other’s backs! There is a good chance that this could happen to you, especially if both of you aren’t physically attracted to each other anymore.

Worse, you may also get to know that your loving mate is actually gay or lesbian and used this excuse to hook up on a threesome, just to satisfy themselves. Of course, you’d know that only much later. When your presence is the last thing they want in bed! Or you could fall for a person you’re swinging with. What are you going to do? Break up because you wanted to have a bit more fun in bed? [Read: Emotional affairs]

Finding the third without crowding the bed

If you’re certain that you’re really in love with each other and you’re still having a great sex life, then maybe, just maybe a threesome could turn out to be a good experiment. So how do you go about it?

To know the rules of threesome sex and how to go about it, click here to continue reading about the infamous ménage à trois and the rules of threesomes.


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Have your say!
  • Jess
    September 15, 2012 | Permalink |

    The type of threesome makes a big difference. I’ve had both kinds and prefer MMF. For some reason I can’t bring myself to go down on another woman. I’m okay with a woman going down on me and using toys on me but I have a problem returning the favor. As result a MFF can get a bit uncomfortable.

    With MMF it’s all about me and I love it. I have yet to ever talk with a woman who has had a MMF and doesn’t want another. It’s unbelieveably carnal, the guys will exhaust themselves trying to keep going, something about competition.

  • Laura
    December 4, 2013 | Permalink |

    I’m looking for any advice on mmf threesome
    My husband and I have been married for 20 years, and for the last year he has been on this threesome conversation. He wants to do it I have not agreed yet, this will be a first for both of us and I am freaking out not knowing what to expect or what to do, I love and trust my husband and we have a strong marriage, help please…I need any advice to help me make the right choice

  • Denise
    March 8, 2014 | Permalink |

    After being in a strong, committed, loving and trusting relationship with my man after three years, we decided to have an impromptu three-way (FFM). Our sex life was always thriving and exciting and we’ve talked about having one, more for his fantasy than mine. I trust him and still do, but, I will never, ever do that again!! It’s been two years since then and I no longer want sex and am bitter towards the whole experience. I cannot get over the vision of him kissing her in every way and now am a very jealous woman. I’m going to a therapist now because I have no interest in sex with my fiancé. He’s wonderful and patient and understanding. He truly loves me to stick by me and assist in my two year insecurity. If anyone can shed some assistance, please do.

  • william
    March 26, 2014 | Permalink |

    I have been thinking about it for some time .she wants to suck a male while I have sex with her.I also find I might be a bit bi not 100% sold I am but we have played some must say it excites me thinking of another man with her and him touching me also. I hear that slot of people tried it most like it I’m a jelious person and she is also I don’t want to hurt what we have but want to give her what she wants can someone help what do you think?

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