You hear the phrase “woman with daddy issues” thrown around a lot in books, movies, and TV, but do you know what it really means to date one?
At some point in your life, you may have heard the term “daddy issues” used in a certain context. Most people use it to describe a woman who tends toward promiscuity.
Is it true? Maybe. Is it the only explanation? No. That’s because promiscuity is not directly linked to daddy issues.
There are a lot of reasons a woman might choose to have multiple sex partners or be indiscriminate about the partners she chooses, but it’s not necessarily related to having issues with her father.
How are “daddy issues” identified?
The term “daddy issues” was coined in Carl Jung’s theory called “The Electra Complex.” This is when a girl displays a form of psychosexual competition with her mother for possession of her father.
In modern culture, the Electra Complex manifests as a woman’s tendency to seek attention from men in order to compensate for the lack of her father’s attention. That’s why the term developed into its more casual moniker: daddy issues.
If you’re not quite sure if you’ve ever dealt with a woman with daddy issues, here are a few manifestations.
#1 Sexual aggression. Although women with daddy issues seem to be sexually aggressive, it’s not because they put very little value on sex. It’s the opposite, actually; they are more likely to be aggressive because they think that sex can get them into a man’s good graces. [Read: Sex in a relationship – what it means to a woman]
#2 Clinginess. Due to the warped sense of thinking that came from item 1, women with daddy issues will misconstrue their situation by begging for attention. Unfortunately, both items 1 and 2 usually backfire, because they are done out of desperation, instead of affection.
#3 Excessive friendliness towards guys. Women with daddy issues are drawn to men. They revel in their attention. You will likely see this in her response to men and women; she’ll usually be warm and friendly toward men, yet cold and aloof toward women.
#4 Defensive barriers. When a woman feels threatened by the possibility of losing you, her subconscious will take action by cutting you off. She might start a fight, break up with you, or even cheat, just to prevent herself from getting the first cut.
#5 Dating older men. This is the most obvious sign, but it is also the one that’s prejudged frequently. Younger women can date older men because they want to. A woman with daddy issues might date an older man because the guy looks, acts, and feels like her father. Creepy, yes, but it’s true.
Is it okay to date a woman with daddy issues?
A woman with daddy issues is dealing with the loss of her father’s presence and affection, whether she knows it or not. While this is true, she does not deserve any less of a man’s affection, nor is she subject to the ridicule and judgment that other people place on her.
If you’re a casual observer who thinks you can label anyone with just a glance, think twice before you shoot your mouth off. Most women suffering from “daddy issues” are in a lot of pain–whether they realize it or not.
What’s it like to date a woman with daddy issues?
In terms of dating, women with daddy issues are just like any other girl. The only difference is that you know where her issues come from. Now, isn’t that a breath of fresh air? But for transparency’s sake, here are the things that you should expect when you’re dating a woman with daddy issues.
#1 Getting her trust will be difficult. If you want a relationship with a woman who has daddy issues, you’ll have to jump through a few hoops before you get anything emotional out of her.
#2 She might push you away at first. She may reject you, dump you, and push you away as much as she can to see if you’re willing to stay with her. [Read: What to do when she plays hard to get]
#3 She might chase you down. If she likes you and you decide to move on to someone else, there’s a possibility that she might go for you, instead. It’s not so much a reverse psychology thing, as much as a “please love me, I’m sorry I dumped you” thing.
#4 She will test you. Over and over again. Once you’re in a relationship with her, you might not notice that you’re actually engaged in a series of psychological tests your girl has concocted. Whether you pass or not depends on her sunny or stormy disposition.
#5 She overcompensates. She either goes hard or goes home. Whatever you need, she will do her best to provide it. That’s because she wants to reward your affection–or at least buy it. That’s only a good thing if you’re willing to do your part in the relationship.
#6 She will probably have sex with you on the first date… or, at least, sooner than you think. This is where a woman with daddy issues falters. She perceives sex as a bargaining chip, and she thinks that giving in early will seal her fate as a girlfriend. Sometimes, it works… but most of the time, it doesn’t.
#7 She’s a people-pleaser. She will give you all the help you need, be there when you feel sick or sad, and be more affectionate than your own mother. And the sex will probably be awesome. That’s because women with daddy issues have a tendency to comply with men’s requests, just so they can feel wanted and needed. [Read: 5 reasons women fall for emotionally unavailable men]
#8 She will flirt with other guys. It’s not that she wants to cheat. It’s just that she can’t get enough of men’s attention. If you can provide enough for her, she’ll be too distracted to flirt with other men.
#9 Inconsistency upsets her. She knows when she’s getting enough attention, and she knows when she isn’t. You better know how much she needs, or she’ll make you regret not texting at your usual 8 PM time slot.
#10 It’s going to be a while before you meet her mother. Women with daddy issues are known to have even worse mommy issues. They fight or disagree all the time–not because of the Electra Complex, but because their mothers are not capable of providing their need for a father. They will probably let things settle down with their moms before they decide to bring a guy home.
Dating girls with daddy issues sounds taxing, but it’s not a definite letdown. They can be fickle, hardheaded, and complex, but they can also be affectionate, caring, and loving. The last three traits may be enough to make any guy want to date them, despite their issues.
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...