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How to Tell Your Girlfriend She’s Too Flirty With Other Guys

How to Tell Your Girlfriend She's Too Flirty With Other Guys

Your girlfriend is pretty flirtatious. You thought you could handle it, but you can’t. Here’s how to tell your girlfriend she’s too flirty with other guys.

Flirting, on the one hand, is an amazing skill to have. When you met your girlfriend, you were flirting with each other, and now you’re in a relationship. So, flirting did the job of connecting you. But that’s the thing; you’re in a relationship with her and aren’t sure how to tell your girlfriend she’s too flirty with other guys.

To some extent, I don’t think flirting is a problem as long as you know the boundaries. Your partner isn’t the only one you find attractive, so you may flirt with the barista at Starbucks or the delivery man. And listen, that’s okay. But there are boundaries.

How to tell your girlfriend she’s too flirty with other guys

Naturally, if your girlfriend is flirting with another guy in front of you, it’s hurtful. And if she does it frequently, it can make you second-guess your relationship. I understand. It’s not an easy situation to be in. Although you may be trying to move past it and accept her flirting, it’s bothering you. There’s nothing wrong with your feelings.

[Read: Friendly or flirty? How to read the signs of a flirty girlfriend]

But how do you tell your girlfriend she’s too flirty with other guys? Now, that’s a good question, and we’re going to answer it right now.

#1 You’re going to have to talk to her about it. This isn’t something you can avoid any longer. It’s clear that her flirting is bothering you. So, don’t wait any longer. The longer you wait, the more you hurt yourself. It’s really time to sit down with her and tell her how you feel. But there’s a wrong way and a right way to do this. [Read: Why you should tell the truth even when it hurts and why it matters]

#2 Pick the right time. If she’s studying for a big exam tomorrow, then don’t pick this very moment to talk to her about this. Be smart with the timing because it matters. Also, you want to make sure when you talk to her about this; you’re clear of distractions. So, don’t bring this up when her friends are over or you’re at a birthday party.

#3 Be direct but calm. You should be direct with how you feel and tell her what’s going on. But, that doesn’t mean you should get angry while doing so. Try to be calm when you talk. If you’re direct about the issue, it’ll help you control your emotions. This is supposed to be a productive conversation, not a fight. [Read: How to calm down when you’re angry and regain your composure]

#4 Talk about how you’re feeling. This conversation is about you and your feelings. So, make sure you talk to her about how you’re feeling. This doesn’t mean you should blame her; however, you need to make it clear you’re uncomfortable. So, don’t say something like, “You flirt too much,” instead say, “I feel uncomfortable and upset when I see you flirting with other guys.” Now, the conversation can go somewhere.

#5 Why do you feel that way? Okay, you know how you feel when she flirts with other guys, but why do you feel that way. You should understand where these feelings are coming from, and she should understand as well.

If you feel her flirtatious behavior shows her interest in other guys, you can say, “I feel upset when you flirt because it makes me feel that you’re not interested in me.” If you have past experiences, bring them up in the conversation. [Read: How to deal with a flirty girlfriend without making things worse]

#6 Let her respond. Yes, you should say how her flirting makes you feel, but now it’s time for her to respond. Who knows, maybe she doesn’t see her behavior as flirtatious, or maybe she realizes it and understands it was inappropriate. What matters is you give her the chance to reflect on her behavior.

#7 Talk about your relationship. This may be a good opportunity to have a serious conversation about your relationship and see if there are areas you should work on together. Are her needs being met? If not, what does she need from you, and how can you provide those needs to her? And the same goes for yourself: are your needs being fulfilled? [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

#8 Be communicative. It’s not an easy conversation, but if you discover there’s something missing for her in the relationship, this gives you a chance to work together on it. Be open and communicative. Don’t judge or place blame on her if you want to get to a proper solution.

#9 Be honest. No matter what comes from this conversation, it needs to be honest from the beginning. You two need to be honest with each other, even if it’s uncomfortable. In the end, if she’s not that into you, it’s better you find out now. If it’s something fixable, then it’s also better you find out now. But that can only be done through honesty.

#10 Focus on solutions. You sat down and had a serious talk about flirting, how it makes you feel, and the overall relationship. Now what? Well, it’s time for you to start working on a solution. Create goals together to improve your relationship and fulfill each other’s needs. [Read: How to manage your expectations in a relationship]

#11 If you had the talk and nothing changes… Then it’s time to reconsider the relationship. If she’s continuing to flirt, and you’re not comfortable with it, then decide whether this is something you’re willing to put up with. She may not change her behavior, and that’s just who she is. So, then you’ll need to figure out if this is the partner you want beside you.

[Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship: The rules to follow for healthy love]

Relationships are all about communication, so if you’re wondering how to tell your girlfriend she’s too flirty with other guys, these are all the steps you need to follow to speak your mind and give her the opportunity to explain herself if she chooses to.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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