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How to Stop Being Clingy: 19 Ways to Gain Self-Confidence

If you push people away with your neediness, learning how to stop being clingy is a must. Here’s how to shut down that toxic behavior.

how to stop being clingy

This is a real problem. There are certain people out there who get involved with someone and just can’t help themselves. They have to be all over them and talk to them all the time. If you’re this type, learning how to stop being clingy can save your relationship.

Because people don’t want to be with someone who suffocates them, suffocation can kill relationships. But if that’s the way you are, how do you stop yourself? How do you become a person who acts normal and appropriate in a relationship?

It’s not like you chose to be clingy. It is built inside you from your past, fears, and other things that seem subconscious or out of your control. But, gladly, you do have control. It just takes some time to learn how to stop being clingy. [Read: Am I clingy? Here’s how to learn the truth about yourself]

Why are you clingy?

Insecurity. The worse you feel about yourself, the closer you want to hold your partner so they’ll never leave. The thing is, the clingier you are, the more they’ll want to run away. Essentially, it has the opposite effect to what you are hoping for.

When you’re not secure in the relationship, you always feel the need to be reassured. That will manifest in you calling and texting your partner during all waking hours just to make sure they’re still into you. It’s not healthy for you, and it’s not fun for them.

Whether you’ve been left, cheated on, or talked down to in the past, requiring reassurance from your partner or even your friends is exhausting. Being clingy isn’t just a little personality quirk. It can quickly drain all the energy and joy from a relationship.

Being clingy can have nothing to do with your partner, but not trusting them, accusing them, or questioning them, can make them feel like they aren’t enough for you. No one wants to feel that way.

What really sucks about being clingy is that you feel like you aren’t enough, but you are forcing those emotions on the people in your life through that. If you want healthy and happy relationships, it is time to learn how to stop being clingy. [Read: 9 effective ways to stop being so needy and insecure]

How to stop being clingy

If you ever want to get to a point where you’re in a healthy relationship with someone you truly care about, you have to learn how to stop being clingy and trust yourself and your partner. But that’s easier said than done. These tips can help you kick that bad habit and remain happy with the person you care about.

1. Work on your confidence

This is going to be the best thing for you but can also be the hardest. To stop being so clingy, you have to address the root cause, which is your insecurity. I know you might not be able to admit it, but you need help.

Start practicing self-care and reflection to figure out why you don’t feel so great about yourself. Learning to love yourself will help ease your mind when your partner isn’t around, and that’s how you’ll stop being clingy. [Read: How to gain confidence and turn your life around for the better]

2. Reassure yourself

You don’t need someone else to reassure you. You can do that yourself! How you feel about yourself should come from within, not from your partner. You don’t need their attention or compliments to know you’re worthy of them.

Remind yourself that you don’t need to know what they’re doing every second of every day. You can occupy your own time.

3. Stay busy

This is a fantastic way to avoid being clingy. When you’re busy, you won’t have time to be texting your significant other all the time. You’ll be doing your own thing, and you’ll be happy to do it.

Plus, it’ll be more rewarding when you sit down to talk about your days because there will actually be something to talk about. When you’re always in touch, there’s never time to miss each other.

4. Determine if you have anxiety

Many people who have anxiety tend to be clingy. They don’t mean to, but it results from anxious thoughts, making them upset and worrisome. See a professional and talk about how you’re feeling and what options you have from now on. [Read: What it feels like to have anxiety in a relationship]

5. Work on building trust

If you have trust issues, it’ll cause you to be way clingier than other people. Now, these might not have even developed because of your current significant other.

They could result from an ex cheating on you or doing stuff you weren’t okay with. You have to work on building trust together. Spend time apart, and you’ll see how much you can trust them. It can take a while to build this once it’s been lost but keep trying, and it’ll be worth it.

6. Talk to your partner

You can’t just keep your feelings bottled up. You really should talk to your significant other about it. Chances are, they know you’re really clingy, and they may have even expressed annoyance with it.

Your job is to open up and make things better together. Work together to find a happy medium so you can actually keep them in your life. Let them know why you are clingy. If you need some extra attention from them to relax, can they do that for you?

7. Maintain your own life

The more you’re doing stuff for yourself, the less you’ll be overly interested in what your significant other is doing. It just has to do with having your own life. You have your own concerns, and so you won’t worry about him.

Having a partner should be an amazing addition to your life, not envelope it fully. [Read: 17 ways to live more simply and have more satisfaction]

8. Shut down negative thoughts

We all have bad thoughts sometimes. Even people who seem the happiest can have thoughts that cause them to worry and check in with their partners.

You have to shut them down. The less time you give those thoughts to take over, the less power they have. They’ll also stop popping up the more you train your brain to think positively.

9. Remember that you both need independence

If you want to understand how to stop being clingy, you need to understand that no couple can survive being around each other 24/7. Remember that. You need to have your independence, so you don’t get completely sick of each other or, worse, become codependent. Not having that space can make both of you feel suffocated, and that’ll kill the relationship.

10. Learn what healthy relationships look like

Research what’s needed to make a relationship last. Look at healthy relationships and even interview people who have been together for a long time. Once you have an image of what your relationship should look like, it’ll make you feel better, and you’ll stop being so clingy. [Read: 15 signs of a healthy relationship you should always look for]

11. Commit to changing your ways

Unless your significant other is doing something severe to cause you to be clingy, you need to work on this. Yes, they can help make things easier for you because they want you to feel secure, but it’s up to you if you want to make a change.

Far too often, people seek help when it comes to clinginess, and then they don’t commit to changing and don’t make an effort. You can’t let that be you. Not if you want your relationship to last.

12. Establish boundaries

You don’t just need to communicate with your part to learn how to stop being clingy, and you need to comprehend what you want and what they want. You need to set boundaries. Talk about your needs and theirs and find a middle ground where you both feel comfortable. [Read: How to set boundaries in a relationship]

13. Plan time apart

It can be easy to fall into a routine of always seeing your partner. Maybe you run errands together and invite them out to see your friends or family. But, taking one or two nights apart can be really healthy for someone clingy.

Go out with your friends and stay off your phone while you’re out. Enjoy time apart. This will improve your confidence as well.

14. Get off your phone

Stop checking in on them. If you stay off your phone, you’ll be less likely to call, text, or watch their Instagram stories. There is no need to be on top of them 24/7. You are not your partner’s mom, and they are not a toddler.

Put your phone down and live your life for yourself. [Read: A happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]

15. Put your needs first

Your needs are hearing from your partner every ten minutes. Your needs are what you want for dinner or what show you want to watch. Being clingy isn’t all about suffocating your partner with questions and attention. You also tend to baby them and give them too much.

Remember that you matter too. You won’t keep them if you give up your own hobbies to make them happy. You need to be happy too.

16. Rely on yourself

Try not to rely on them for everything. That isn’t healthy for your relationship or you. Learn how to rely on yourself. This could mean learning how to change a tire or eat dinner alone. Learning how to stop being clingy means learning how to depend on yourself. [Read: 13 ways to avoid being a stage five clinger]

17. Enjoy alone time

Try to practice self-love and enjoy your time alone. Watch movies you love or read a good book. Take a bath or go for a walk by yourself. Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. It can really help you work on yourself without the influence of others.

18. Let go of control

When you are clingy, it isn’t just being needy for attention but also controlling your partner. You want to control their habits and when they talk to you or if they talk to others. It may be due to your past, but it isn’t fair to them. You can only control yourself. [Read: How to stop being controlling in a relationship]

19. Get professional help

There could easily be more underlying reasons for your need to be clingy. We can’t always think of ourselves objectively, hiding certain issues that affect our lives in major ways.

So, see someone and talk to them about what you’re going through. They can often provide the insight you never thought about before.

[Read: How to not be so clingy in a relationship]

If you ever want to be in a happy and healthy relationship, you need to learn how to stop being clingy and know your worth.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...