Toxic relationships erode away your confidence and your happiness. Learn the common signs of a toxic boyfriend and get out of there—fast!
Relationships have the power to lift you up or drag you down. Unfortunately, the sheer number of toxic relationships far outweigh the healthy ones. As a result, it’s vital that you know when you’re potentially seeing the signs of a toxic boyfriend. Then, you can either work to rectify the situation or, more likely, walk away with your head held high.
When you fall in love, it’s easy to overlook all the negative aspects of the relationship. You put up with a lot because you simply don’t want it to end or you think that perhaps your partner is going to change.
The problem is, a toxic boyfriend is likely to stay a toxic boyfriend unless he sees the error of his ways and changes for the better.
The most glaring signs of a toxic boyfriend you should never ignore
To help you identify whether or not a change is needed in your relationship, let’s check out these 11 signs of a toxic boyfriend.
#1 He regularly speaks down to you. It’s nothing but annoying when someone speaks down to you, regularly uses sarcasm, or acts in a condescending manner. As annoying as it can be from someone you’re not close to, it’s not something you should be dealing with from a boyfriend. If you’ve pointed it out to him before and he’s still doing it, it’s one of the key signs of a toxic boyfriend. [Read: 12 double standards in a relationship that are as toxic AF!]
#2 He uses gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. It’s also a type of emotional abuse. While we must be careful that we don’t combine toxicity with abuse and think it’s always the exact same thing, but, in some cases, it overlaps.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you question yourself, in most cases, your own sanity. For instance, your boyfriend might say something and when you recall it later, he pretends he never said it. You then doubt whether you heard it or not.
#3 He is controlling. One of the main signs of a toxic boyfriend is someone who is regularly controlling. You are a grown adult and have your own mind. You do not need someone else telling you what you can and can’t do. When a man tries to control you, he is bending you to his will. Don’t allow it!
#4 Jealousy is a common theme. Let’s be honest, it’s nice when someone is a little jealous occasionally, perhaps when another guy looks at you in a certain way and he puts his arm around you to let the guy know you’re his. However, it’s not nice when it’s a constant, and it stops you from doing anything. There is no place for extreme jealousy in a relationship.
#5 Regularly lying. Liar, liar, pants on fire! Lying basically means that you’re deceiving your partner, and it’s one of the biggest signs of a toxic boyfriend. If your guy is always lying about the small things, you don’t know that he’s not lying about the big things either. Lies erode away at trust and make it impossible to believe anything he says. [Read: Emotions you just shouldn’t feel in your relationship]
#6 You’re constantly walking on eggshells. It’s no fun when you’re never sure what mood your guy is in, and you have to walk on eggshells around him to avoid a drama. It’s toxic because you can’t relax and can’t be free to allow your relationship to develop.
#7 Your needs are always second best. Your needs are of equal importance to your boyfriend’s, so if his are always met but yours aren’t, you should worry a little. It means you’re never going to be happy and you’re always going to be lacking what you need. It’s one of the definite signs of a toxic boyfriend.
#8 He’s generally disrespectful. You can be disrespectful to someone in a myriad of ways. It can be not respecting their boundaries, showing off in front of others when they’re around, or not taking what they say seriously.
#9 He never has your back. Your guy should be your biggest supporter. If he never has your back and never sticks up for you when others talk about you, does he even care? It’s definitely one of the signs of a toxic boyfriend. And it’s something you should view as a red flag. Your guy should defend you at all costs.
#10 He flirts with other people in front of you. This is another of those disrespect points, but flirting with other people in front of you is toxic on so many levels. If your guy does this, you should have a serious conversation with him. Also, you should consider whether there is any future to the relationship. [Read: My guy is very flirty… with other women!]
#11 He simply refuses to commit. While you shouldn’t expect your boyfriend to commit straightaway, if after a considerable amount of time he simply refuses to commit himself to you, does it mean he’s toxic? In some ways, yes, it could. If after a length of time, he’s not interested in being committed to you, you might wonder whether the relationship is going anywhere.
These 11 signs of a toxic boyfriend are the most obvious red flags you need to look out for. Don’t panic if you only see one sign occasionally. Everyone can be a little thoughtless occasionally, but if you see more than one sign over a considerable length of time, consider this a toxic relationship that you need to escape.
Toxic relationships do nothing but drag you down. They make you feel like you have nothing to fight for, they pull at your self-confidence and force you to question the relationship time and time again. The problem is, one of the most common signs of a toxic boyfriend is that they convince you to stay by being pleasant on other levels. It’s a game of run and chase that is difficult to escape. [Read: Blowing hot and cold – The 3 stages to explain why someone does this]
The only advice to give, if you really do feel that you are dealing with a toxic boyfriend, ask yourself whether his behavior can be genuinely changed. Does he know what he’s doing? Does he understand that his behavior is toxic? If so, start a conversation and change the situation. However, if he refuses to see what is going on, think about leaving the relationship behind. [Read: 15 signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls ignore]
A toxic relationship has no future. It’s that simple. You can’t be happy with a toxic boyfriend. He will always make you feel less than you are. You deserve better! By focusing on the positives, you can move away from the toxicity and find someone who will treat you with the love and respect you really do deserve. The big issue, when you are with a toxic guy, you won’t believe that you deserve anything better.