Many of you have come across a shit test in some form or another when navigating your way through a relationship or a date. Chances are you’ve been subjected to one on more than one occasion, without even realizing it’s happening.
If you’ve had a girl react oddly to something you said in response to an off-hand question, that was a shit test.
Did she become cold suddenly, for seemingly no reason, and is now ghosting you? That was a shit test.
If she’s changed her demeanor toward you after a lengthy conversation about your dating habits, that was a shit test. And in all those situations, you’ve probably failed.
[Read: Turn offs for women – 25 things guys do that girls absolutely hate]
Simply put, a shit test is an easy way for a woman to test what kind of a man you are. It’s a way for them to throw a verbal curveball at you to see how you react, and based on that, she’ll be able to determine how much of a catch you are.
Sometimes your response to these shit tests is a dealbreaker. And you’ll never even know what you did wrong.
She’s looking to figure out how real you’re being, so she knows whether or not to let her guard down and trust you. Once she knows that you’re not just taking her for a ride, she can be herself and start letting you in.
Nothing is worse than spending weeks getting to know a guy and learning all about him, to then find out that he’s in love with her best friend. Or he doesn’t believe in monogamy. Or *as some discover after 3 dates*, he wants to have a threesome with you and his ex.
As a guy, don’t take a shit test too seriously. Women are just doing it to protect themselves. It isn’t about you, but more about what they’ve been through. Don’t let a shit test throw you off your game. You can handle it. [Read: The mental checklist women use to evaluate men they date]
You might think it’s unfair for women to shit test men. So, now you’re wondering why they even do it? Is it because they’re full of themselves? Or do they like being annoying? Perhaps some other reason?
Many men might see the shit test as a woman just behind difficult. They might want her to just sit and look pretty and not put him to the test.
But there are a lot of legitimate reasons why women shit test men. So, let’s go over some important ones that you need to know. [Read: Why do girls play games and test guys in the early stages of dating?]
Unlike men, sexual attraction is different for women. Men see a hot woman and are ready to jump into bed with her immediately. But for women, attraction is more complex.
Women can be attracted to a man’s confidence. It turns them on. Now, we’re not talking about arrogance or cockiness. We’re talking about real, genuine self-confidence.
Sometimes, a woman will give you a shit test to see whether or not you are actually attracted to her. It doesn’t matter how beautiful or average-looking she is.
If she has lower self-esteem, she will probably use this shit test to reassure herself.
In order to do this, she might stop showing interest as much as she used to so she can see how the guy will react. All you should do is continue to act the same and continue showing her interest. [Read: What to do when a girl ignores you and won’t give you a chance]
A woman might be “moody” on purpose just to see how you are going to react to her. Are you going to stay confident? She’s looking to see if you are emotionally strong enough to handle pressure in a social situation.
If she is emotionally strong and confident, but the guy isn’t, then she worries that she’s going to have to take care of him and protect him. And no woman wants to do that.
They find it sexy when a guy is manly and that nothing she says or does makes him feel insecure or unsure of himself. [Read: What do girls like in guys? 30 qualities that make a guy a catch]
If a woman is going to consider dating you long-term, then she is also wondering how you would measure up as a life partner. As we go through life, there will be inevitable challenges that you will have to go through as a couple.
So, she doesn’t want to weather those storms by herself. She wants a strong man by her side. That’s why she’ll throw you a shit test to see how you would handle adversity. She doesn’t want to be the one who has to handle everything by herself.
Now, you can’t say this is unreasonable, right? That’s what dating is for. We need to assess our partners to see if we want to continue seeing them or move on to someone. So, she’s checking to make sure you are worthy of her and you’re not putting on an act.
For example, she might say things to test your confidence. She wants to know that you have good self-esteem and that you won’t turn into an insecure, jealous, or controlling boyfriend. Because no woman wants that. She wants a man who feels worthy of her and feels confident around her. [Read: 31 signs of a guy who’s only fake-nice until he hooks the girl he likes]
While all women are unique and have their own reasons for giving a shit test, they are usually in regards to these four categories:
Are you confident enough? How well do you command a situation or interact with your friends? How resourceful and charismatic can you be in social situations?
Most women want a man who is confident and social. She doesn’t want him to be a shy wallflower who lets her take the lead. So, she wants to see how you interact with other people and if you treat them with respect. This is indicative of how you are going to treat her too.
Women want to test how independent you truly are or see how materialistic you are. Not all women want a man with lots of money, but they also don’t want to support someone full time who doesn’t have their own income. [Read: What makes a guy creepy? 24 signs and types of men all girls avoid talking to]
She doesn’t want to be the breadwinner. That doesn’t mean you need to be a millionaire, but you do need to be able to support yourself and have some ambitions in life. No woman wants a guy who is lazy, bad with money, or mooches off of her.
Looks aren’t everything, but most men’s pride and ego come from physical appearance. This shit test is a way to see how you perceive yourself physically and how you fare with feats of strength.
Let’s face it – she doesn’t want to wake up one year down the road to find out that you gained 100 pounds, never shower, and have completely let yourself go.
She wants to be relatively assured that you are going to keep yourself in decent shape as the years go on.
This is to test not only your intelligence but your ability to figure out her needs and values. By disrupting your general habits and charm, it shows her how you really tick.
Women need to be stimulated mentally. They like to have deep conversations and connect with men that way. So, if you’re just going to play video games 24/7 and not talk to her, she won’t like that. She also wants to know that you are emotionally intelligent enough to know this and adjust your behavior accordingly. [Read: 60 deep and fun get to know you questions to peek into their soul]
EXAMPLE #1: I’m sure you just say that to all the girls.
Wrong answer: No, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not some kind of player, so I think you misunderstood me.
Right answer: Well, I have been practicing that line all day, so let’s hope it worked!
[Read: How to talk to a girl – 20 secrets that’ll make you irresistible to women]
EXAMPLE #2: I bet you didn’t even miss me while I was gone.
Wrong answer: You don’t know that. Of course, I missed you – you’re overreacting.
Right answer: What do you mean? I spent hours praying to the shrine I made with photos of you until you got back!
EXAMPLE #3: You’re so weak you probably can’t even lift this heavy box.
Wrong answer: Of course, I can. It doesn’t even look that heavy, and I’m pretty strong.
Right answer: I probably shouldn’t. The last time I tried to lift a heavy box, I flexed so hard that I accidentally opened a time portal. I don’t want NASA calling again.
Make sure to keep your responses light-hearted, and don’t lash out defensively because it never ends well.
Don’t say what you think she wants to hear or respond with fear or nerves. If you’re able to twist the focus of the conversation away from negativity, you have a higher chance of passing the test.
Remember, what a girl wants to see is your reaction. And honestly, if you’re insecure, you’ll either lash out or try to prove yourself. On the other hand, if you’re secure, you’ll play it cool because her words don’t define what you think of yourself.
[Read: How to be witty and 25 super cool ways to win anyone over with your charm]
Here are some of the best ways to pass a shit test with ease that’ll have her coming back for more. Girls who throw out those shit tests aren’t fake or lying.
They know what can happen when they are vulnerable around someone and want to protect themselves. These girls are smart. Show her you are worthy with these tips.
Fight the urge to get incredibly defensive and instead get sarcastic. Women love men who can make fun of themselves, so by using sarcasm, you’ll totally throw her off and possibly even be able to make her laugh, which really helps.
Take control of the conversation by re-framing what she’s saying into a positive point. Once you’ve flipped the shit test on its head, it’ll be difficult for her to reassert dominance in the situation.
The second that she thinks you don’t want to answer a question or are running scared, she’ll think you have something to hide.
Confront the question head-on, and answer quickly without flinching if you really want to see her stunned. [Read: How to sweet talk a girl – 19 ways to leave her melting with your words]
Dating can be tough for women as women want emotional connection and longevity in a relationship more often than not. Because of this, most women don’t have any malice behind the shit tests. Try not to get mad or upset unless you want to fail.
If she thinks you’re shaken, then you’ve lost, so don’t ramble and give a half-hearted response. Speak confidently, and show her you’re the kind of man who’s not afraid when thrown a few curveballs. [Read: 22 must-know tips for having more success with women]
Whatever she throws at you, accept it and then amplify it. This is the perfect non-reactionary way to pass a shit test because if you can turn her question around to seem absurd or like a joke, then she has nowhere to go with it.
If she’s just mean or rude, then stand up for yourself and tell her.
If you demand respect without being nasty, it’s likely that she’ll be taken aback and will respect you more than if you just looked defeated.
The second that you appear to have your feathers ruffled is the moment that you fail a shit test. Don’t let your ego get in the way, and just adapt your answers without resorting to petty remarks or bitter jibes – it will definitely pay off.
[Read: 25 little details that make a man really attractive to women]
A shit test is sometimes difficult to maneuver, but hopefully, with this guide, you’ll be able to spot them quickly, re-frame the situation, and be well on your way to passing them with flying colors.
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