In today’s sexually liberal age, it’s almost impossible to find a woman who isn’t raving about the thrills of owning a vibrator. From college onward, women have been in the practice of both hiding, and benefiting from their sex toys.
Reviews and comments are scrawled across the internet of women naming their vibrators and calling them their better-than-sex “new boyfriend”. Women gush about their quality time spent with their pleasure wands, bragging with astonishment about their orgasm that came within two-minutes with their battery operated buddies.
But why do some women detest using their vibrators?
So with all of this passion for battery operated pleasure, you might be asking yourself, how is it possible that you simply hate yours?
#1 It’s impersonal. If you’re having trouble orgasming with your vibrator, it may be that you simply find it too impersonal. If you are used to masturbating with your hands or are used to the touch and sensuality that comes along with having a physical partner – you may be having a mental block when it comes to your vibrator. After all, plastic isn’t the most personal form of lovemaking.
Many find the silky veneer of a dildo to be unpleasant, or cold, making it harder to focus on or find any pleasure from the experience. If this is the case with you, try instituting your vibrating pleasures with the pleasure of your boyfriend’s company. Having your boyfriend present and playing along with you may make the experience seem more intimate.
#2 Can’t orgasm without it. Is this actually a reason to dislike your vibrator? After all, he’s just doing his job – and very well, you might add. The problem is, ladies, that while you’re single, Mr. V might be the perfect partner, but while with a boyfriend you might not always want your plastic simulator.
You want the real thing, and nothing is more frustrating than not being able to get off with your partner. While there’s no problem in bringing a little spice with sex toys into the bedroom, you don’t want to rely on it for your orgasm, do you? [Read: 50 kinky ideas that can make you forget your vibrator]
If you’re having trouble reaching your “O” with your guy and you’ve already had the “I like it this way” chat with him, then I’m afraid to say it’s time to start scaling back with your vibrator. Take it down to only a couple of times a week instead of every night. Even better, while you’re using it and you start to feel yourself getting “there” – try finishing yourself off with your hand, instead. This will get your clit used to human sensations again. [Read: 12 things guys do that make women want to fake their orgasm]
#3 Too weak. Beautiful as he is, your vibrator may simply be too weak to get you off, kind of like a man sometimes! This can happen for a number of reasons, one being that you may have bought a cheap vibrator. Odds are if you’re buying it from the drug store, it’s not going to do the job. So put on your big girl pants and march your way to a proper sex shop. The cashier should be able to show you their strongest brands, and most will slip in a battery and let you test the product on your hand first to see if that might be a strength good enough for your liking.
If this isn’t the case, perhaps you’re simply running low on juice. Grab a high-end battery brand, preferably lithium as it will last longer, and test it out. Odds are your vibrator will feel like a new machine, and you’ll feel like a new woman!
#4 Too strong. Opposite of the problem listed above, some women may find their vibrator too strong. If your battery is too strong, it may just end up numbing all of those fabulous sensitive areas to the point that nothing’s going to “come” of your mechanical adventure. This isn’t a sport that requires an ice pack.
If your vibrator is packing too much of a punch, try letting the battery die down a little, or use your vibrator though some leggings or a blanket to take some of the pressure off.
#5 Cramping. You know how you get pregnant and suddenly there’s all of these facts and figures that allegedly mothers everywhere knew and had been hiding from you? Read: fecalating while giving birth? Hello! Why wasn’t that in the manual?
Well, for vibrator-virgins, here’s a fast fact: orgasming while under the pressure of a vibrator, while wonderful, can cause intense stomach cramping for days afterwards. Cramps aren’t really the first thing you think of when you reach into your naughty drawer now, is it?
#6 It’s just not the vibrator for you. If you still can’t seem to orgasm, the truth may just be you haven’t found the right vibrator for you. While it may take some time and money, and let’s face it, these toys ain’t cheap! Try buying several different types of vibrators to see which one stimulates you. It might be you’re inserting your new “boyfriend” when all you actually need is some clitoral stimulation.
Vibrators come in all different shapes, sizes, and materials: the rabbit, cock ring, G spot stimulator, the pocket rocket, the vibrating egg, the butterfly, the magic wand, silicone, plastic, jelly… The list goes on. Have an in-depth chat with your local sex store cashier and try finding one that suits your needs. Think of her as your new doctor – she’s just there to help, nothing to be bashful about. [Read: Find out the perfect size to get you off with this Kama Sutra guide]
#7 Your mate’s wrecking it for you. Some men have no problem bringing a little play into the bedroom, but others may find your mechanical friend intimidating, which for most ladies may put a damper on their big “O.” And who can blame him – with the myriad articles and reviews online with women boasting about how they prefer their vibrator to their men, or how their vibrators do what their mate cannot, it’s no wonder men tend to hesitate to bring your little friend into the action.
If your man doesn’t like the idea, you may start to be resentful of your vibrator, and your man. While this situation wouldn’t be the ideal time to show your boyfriend your 12″ dildo, try inviting him to play with smaller, non-penis shaped toys to start – or simply by a dual stimulating toy for you and him to share. You may find he’ll have an easier time getting into playing around if he doesn’t feel like he’s facing his direct competition. [Read: 9 signs of a lackluster sex life that you’re completely ignoring]
So remember, you’re not the only girl in the world who’s had trouble with your vibrator. If yours isn’t getting you off, try a different style or texture. Women’s bodies are all unique, and mentally require different things to get you “there.” Remember, it may not be that you don’t like vibrators – it may be you just haven’t found the one for you!
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Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...
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