If you’re feeling like there’s no one in the world for you and you just want to give up on love altogether, you may want to read this first.
Love sucks. I mean it REALLY sucks. Forget all of those fairytale movies about how the guy comes swooping in and rescues his damsel in distress and they fall madly in love and live happy ever after… as soon as they defeat those bad guys.
Love is NOT that simple. Behind all the butterflies and fairy tales, love can sometimes rear an ugly, heartbreaking side. Nobody ever explained that part of love to me, so I’d like to make sure that others are well informed before diving into a relationship.
Okay, so love might not be ALL bad.
I blame my cynical ways and nightmarish past relationships for that momentary rant about how much love can be a pain in the butt. Truthfully, I love love. And so does everyone else. That’s why we spend years upon years in search of our “one true love.”
Love means having someone to share your secrets with, someone to support you when times get tough, and even someone to tell you when you’re being a whiney little brat and you need to shut the hell up. Everyone should have that person in their lives.
Giving up on love is not the solution
I know what you’re thinking: “No. I don’t NEED someone like that. I am just fine on my own.” And while I completely believe that you can live life without having that type of companion, I know that deep down, you want one.
Nobody should feel so helpless in their love life that they actually give up on love altogether. These are all really important things you should consider before throwing in the towel and calling it quits with love for good. [Read: Do you feel lost in life?]
#1 You’re not alone. In fact, there could be a very attractive, kind, and sweet person out there who’s perfect for you and who is feeling the same way you are: that love sucks and they should just give it up.
There are thousands of people every day crying over buckets of melting ice cream, playing breakup songs on repeat, and swearing off love for good because they just can’t seem to get it right. You’re not the only one feeling this way.
#2 Love doesn’t happen right away. Contrary to what all those damn romantic comedies may have you believing, love doesn’t happen in a week. In fact, it can take a LONG time for you to find someone to love. But just because it doesn’t happen the second you want it to doesn’t mean it will never happen. [Read: Falling in love fast and why you need to slow down]
#3 You might be too picky. How high are your standards? Maybe you should forget about giving up on love and reevaluate your standards for love. You could just be too picky and may need to be more open-minded about different types of people.
#4 You might be too young to find love. Everyone matures at a different rate. While some people may end up marrying their elementary school crush, you could be forced to wait until your 30s before really finding the person you’re meant to spend your life with. [Read: When does age difference in relationships matter?]
#5 You’re not dating the right kinds of people. You might think that you know what you want, but if you keep going for the same type of people and end up heartbroken or unsatisfied with each one, you could be dating the wrong type.
#6 No, you’re not unlovable. You might be a huge pain in the butt, but you’re not unlovable, even if you try to be. Get this thought out of your head immediately. I know it’s easy to think this if you’re not finding love, but it’s just not true.
#7 There’s nothing wrong with being single for a while. In fact, I would say that it’s actually a REALLY good thing. Being single can steer you in the direction of love, even when you’re not looking for it. [Read: 15 reasons why being single can be fun, too!]
#8 Love is no easy feat. It’s hard work. If you just give up at the first sign of struggle, you’re not going to find love. You have to work hard every day in order to really have a successful relationship.
#9 Trying too hard to find love will make it more difficult. If you’re giving up on love because you’re super sick of trying and failing, you could just be trying too hard. Before giving up, just stop looking. Be open to the idea of love, but don’t actively seek it.
#10 If you give up, you may miss out on a great person. “Oh gee, I’m sorry, Mr. Good-Looking, but I’ve given up on love, so I’ll have to pass on that amazing-sounding date.”
#11 You’ll regret not putting yourself out there when you’re older. You might be sitting there someday *even with a spouse* and regret the years you never went for it and dated around a while before settling down. So don’t give up – you might hate that you did in the future.
#12 You’ll be really lonely. Humans need more than just friends and family in their lives. They need someone to be close with on an intimate level. You’ll be really lonely for a long time if you just give up on love altogether. [Read: 7 powerful ways to combat and break out of loneliness]
#13 You’re not thinking clearly. Because honestly, no one in their right mind would give up on love. So therefore, you’re in your wrong mind. Having a heartbreak or traumatic event like that may cause you to think about giving up on love. But don’t make such a rash decision when you’re so emotional.
#15 You’ll miss out on learning more about yourself. To be honest, I have learned more about myself from the people I’ve dated than I have on my own. Different people teach you different things about yourself, and by giving up on love, you’re missing out on all that someone else could teach you.
#16 You could have really funny stories to tell your friends/kids someday if you keep dating. Sure, you might hate some of the people you date, and you may even wind up having some of the worst first dates in history, but those are all reasons NOT to give up on love.
You’ll be glad to have stories to tell your kids someday about love. You’ll have more experience and will therefore be able to offer them more advice than if you were to give up.
#17 You’re depriving someone of your awesomeness. There is someone out there who is just WAITING for you to walk by so they can ask you out. This person could be the one you end up spending your life with… but not if you give up on love and deny them. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness: 12 ways you can ruin your life]
#18 Are you REALLY willing to give up free back massages? Because let’s face it, half of us are only in the relationships for the free back massages. But if you give up on love, you’re giving up on someone to take care of you.
You’re giving up someone to bring you soup when you’re sick and hold your hand when your pet passes away, and is giving up really worth missing having that?
#19 Love is one of the greatest pleasures in the world. Giving up one of the greatest pleasures you’ll ever feel in your lifetime is just wrong. You shouldn’t just give up because you’re having a hard time. Pushing through and still being able to love will be completely worth it.
#20 If Jennifer Aniston can find love after devastatingly losing Brad Pitt, so can you! I mean, need I say more? You may be upset now, but if she can continue dating and can find someone to love after losing one of the best-looking men on the planet, you can find love, too. [Read: How to stay in love forever with your lover]
Giving up on love is the cowardly *and wrong* thing to do. There is so much more to be gained in continuing to love than there is in giving it all up.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...