Love, as true as it may be, can at times start to fade away. Read about how to know if you are not in love anymore and the little signs that matter.
Do you feel like love is slipping out of your relationship slowly and you can’t do a thing to stop it?
Love that is neglected can take on a shade of hate and anger, and eventually take a turn for the worse.
It can be stopped though, but when you reach a stage where you question your own love, you do need a lot of work and effort to bring the romance back in the air.
When both of you are not in love anymore, a relationship that can easily succeed starts to become a burden of frustrations and pain.
Ever find yourself questions your own relationship and whether you’re doing the right thing by staying a relationship that gives you no joy?
Find out how to know if you are not in love anymore, and make up your mind on the next step towards happiness.
How to know if you are not in love
While the emotion of falling in love is intense and blissful, the emotions of falling out of love can be just as intense.
When you’re falling out of love, the signs may not be clear at the beginning.
But as time passes by, you’d start to see a few of these signs crop up now and then, for no reason at all. How to know if you are not in love? Well, use these signs.
Your partner irritates you
Your partner may be watching the telly, preparing dinner, or just having a conversation on the phone. It doesn’t matter what they do, but every now and then, you’d just have a sudden urge to scrunch up your face in annoyance or grumble to yourself. You may have no idea why, but the very sight of your partner may start to irritate you. [Read: Annoying boyfriend signs and annoying girlfriend signs]
You’re not excited anymore
At the beginning of a relationship, your eyes light up with happiness when you see your partner or have a fun conversation with them. Do you feel restless or bored when you spend time with your partner, or do you look for ways to stay back at work or stay out more often with your own friends? You’d know you’re not in love anymore if your partner just doesn’t excite you anymore.
You’re only interested in yourself
One of the signs of a happy relationship is the unconditional love that both lovers have for each other. As the relationship starts to lose its romance, both partners start to become selfish, be it about sharing food, dressing up well or helping each other grow. When you start to fall out of love, you wouldn’t mind letting your partner suffer as long as it can be advantageous to you.
You’re constantly looking out
You may have a nice time with your partner, and everything may seem perfectly fine on the outside. But in your own mind, are you constantly appreciating beauty and hoping for a chance encounter to cheat on your partner? You may not be trolling websites for extramarital affairs, but you try to meet other prospective dates all the time with the hope of cheating on your partner. [Read: Men who stare at women]
When you consciously try to cheat on your partner all the time, you’re not in love. You just like the stability of a backup relationship.
You know you deserve better
If you’re wondering how to know if you are not in love, this is one of the subtle signs that can spell doom in the months or years to come. You may like your partner and have a great time with them, but deep within, do you truly believe you deserve better? You may think you’re cleverer, better looking or just too good to be true, but if you’re in a relationship knowing full well that you’d leave your partner the minute someone better walks into your life, really, is that even love? [Read: Why are women fickle in love?]
No together time
One of the main aspects that hold a relationship together is communication and togetherness. Sometimes, as love starts to fade away, both of you may start to spend less time with each other. And eventually, before you know it, weekends and holidays may pass without either of you taking an initiative to spend time with each other.
You may love hanging out with your own friends and having a nice time. But if either of you can’t spend a few hours with each other and don’t really care about communication and togetherness, there’s no hope for the relationship to survive unless both of you take the initiative to come closer. [Read: Communication in a relationship]
You’re jealous of your partner
Are you secretly jealous of your partner? A teensy bit of envy is certainly acceptable. After all, if you are going out with an attractive and charming person, you are going to be awed by them now and then. But when the awe and envy turns to green eyed jealousy, the relationship starts to get shaky.
But if you do take that a step further and try to secretly jeopardize their success, it’s better to end the relationship rather than face the bitter consequences.
Do you spend more of your man’s money when you’re angry with him? Do you purposely keep your woman occupied with other things just so she can screw up her presentation the next day? Well, these little acts could seem like a childish way to get back at a partner, but it’s actually a deeper psychological agenda to put down a partner, which in turn can bring both of you down. [Read: Dealing with jealousy in a relationship]
You have no respect for your partner
When you lose respect for your partner, you wouldn’t think twice about yelling at them or even scorning them for a small mistake, even if there are others around. When you think your partner’s a loser, a worthless slob or a despicable human, you definitely can’t be in love with them. You’re probably putting up with them only because you don’t want a drastic change in your lifestyle.
You can’t really be in love with someone you don’t respect. It’s as simple as that.
[Read: How to stay in love forever]
Other signs – Are you out of love?
Here are a few signs that may confuse you into wondering if you are not in love anymore. If you’re experiencing any of these signs in your relationship, it definitely doesn’t mean you aren’t in love. But it does mean you and your partner need to work on your relationship.
# You argue a lot
Arguments are a sign of misunderstandings and not loss of love. In fact, as long as the arguments are constructive, it can also help better the relationship. But there are always better ways to understand each other. For starters, it’s called communication.
# Don’t have sex anymore
You could jump and bounce off beds like two horny bunnies at the start of the relationship. But as the relationship matures, there is a possibility of losing the sexual enthusiasm. Bring back the desire in bed by recharging those energizer bunnies with sex appeal and whatever else that can turn either of you on. [Read: Don't want to have sex anymore?]
# Not indulging in PDA
When you’re young in love, both of you may be holding hands all the time and pecking each other’s cheeks like birds and bird seeds. If you had a hard time getting to a room in time at the beginning of your relationship and find that both of you have now lost the urge to get cuddly all the time, it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. It just means that your love has matured beyond infatuation into something calmer.
[Read: Public display of affection laws]
# Spending more time with others when you go out
When you both go out, does your partner spend less time talking with you and spends more time with other people? While this may seem like a sign of falling out of love, your partner may just be excited to socialize with others. After all, both of you do spend a lot of time together and your partner may just want to interact with a few other people whenever they get the chance.
But if this does bother you, speak to your lover about it and work something that’ll be productive. Flirting with a few new friends isn’t worth more than the happiness of a great relationship.
[Read: The best way to end a relationship]
How to know if you are not in love anymore? Well, you know the signs. Use these signs and find out for yourself if you and your partner need to rework on your relationship, or walk away before both of you pay the price of a bad romance.
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I never really stare at women. I only discreetly glance if I happen to notice an attractive woman in the room/cafe/etc. So now I feel creepy for even doing that. Charlie Sheen had it right the whole time.
Hi my name is Nikki I am 29 years old been with my partner for 12 years and I am no longer in love with him and don’t no how to ask him to leave as he has been violent in the passed I have 2 kids with him my son loves his dad very much I’m scared of losing my son if I do ask him to leave
Nikki, you need to get some help…NOW. Call a shelter, a minister, someone to help you get out of this situation. I don’t know the age of your son, but if he is old enough to understand that abuse isn’t healthy and you all need to leave, then I would suggest explaining that to him as easily as possible without making his dad out to be a monster. He is still his dad and you don’t want to come off as the ‘parent who hates so you have to hate, too’. If he’s too young to understand this, then it is your responsibility to protect yourself and your children and you son will learn the truth as he grows up. Again, a shelter, minister, therapist, or other professional can help you deal with your son’s emotions about this, too.
The bottom line, you need to be responsible for yourself and for your children! Keep all of you safe, at any cost. Get help NOW!! (call a hotline if you think you have no other place to turn. they can point you to someone in your area that will give you the help you need).
I wish you the very best! I’ll check back here to see how things are going, if you’d like to share.
me and my partner we been together for 3years nw… its was good from the get go..until 2011 , she became ignorant of our relationship telling nasty words like “i dont love you anymore” “u forcing me into the relationship’ “u stupid” and i begged her each and everytime. we share a 1year old daughter. i got fed up in january this year and told her hoe i was feeling inside.. how she treated me… i took a break for a month. i thought ill be okay! i realised that the love is gone… we tried fixing things up… i just dont want to be with her… i like her but the spark and romance i have for her its gone… i love my daughter so much… m will to sacrifice the terror just to be with her!
I really need help on this topic. I’m 24 years old and I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now.
Our relationship hasn’t been the best for the last 2 years. As he was talking to other girls via Internet. And told me he kissed another girl also a year after that. I must say that I got him to that point as I didn’t show any interest in him. And I really did love him.
But lately I’ve notice that he irritates me very easly. And when he tells me he loves me. I never say it back. I don’t believe that he does love me. as he wouldn’t of hurt me the way he has in the past. I can not get over all of the things he has done to me in the past. When we should be moving forward. Dont get me wrong he has been the best bf ever since that stuff happened. but i just feel so trapped in this relationship he is my first love. And I resent him for everything he has done.
I don’t no weather or not I do love him or if I’m just comfortable with him…?
Please help
Hi,
@Nikki: You have a son with this man, whom you survived 12 years with. Rather than asking him to leave, why don’t you help him change? Men often need the communication and direction of their female counterpart to fix their hidden ills. What sort of a partner/woman/love are you that you run away when you notice the partner does not behave according to your imagination? My advice would be to ignore all people, who advise you to break up. Just read GeneP’s response; it is as if he/she wants you to suffer the same failure which she has endured. Beauty lies in consistency. Think about your child. You will ruin the child’s mental stability and bereave him from his beloved Dad. You need to COMMUNICATE with your man. If you don’t communicate with him about your worries, then you’re an evil woman in my estimate. Men get comfortable after some time, but they always entertain good intentions to keep their families together. If you fall out love and don’t tell him (and thereby take the chance for him to change) then your son’s sorry future of emanating from a broken family will rest on your shoulders.
I have been with my bf for 3 years and we moved in together a little over a year ago. We were so happy and in love before we lived together and were ready for the move so we did it. The past couple of months have been really hard though. We argue a lot and I just do feel like I’m happy with him anymore. Everything he does is starting to irritate me which starts an argument and the situation usually results in me being lead to believe that I am overreacting. He hardly ever takes the blame for anything wrong that he does where I always own up to my faults. I am a kind hearted person and I really want to work things out but it seems as though we have lost our communication — he never takes me seriously and our arguments are never constructive, nothing ever changes. Most of the time we argue about how I feel unappreciated in the relationship and it doesn’t feel like he notices/cares about me anymore. He’s not willing to change his ways to better our relationship he says “that’s just the way he is.” I also wanted to mention that I am the only serious girlfriend that he’s ever had but he is not my first love. I know what it takes to make a relationship work and when I try to voice that with him, he throws it back at me saying I think I know everything. He has a hold on me that’s hard for me to walk away from and it’s been eating me up inside. I have been contemplating moving out for the past few months but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I regularly threaten to move so now he doesn’t take me seriously and I know that’s my own fault but I don’t want to make a mistake walking away. I’m holding on hope because I really think things can be fixed but I’m to the point where I’m tired of fitting and I’m starting not to care anymore. After reading this article, I think I may be falling out of love.
We are both 22, I will be 23 in a couple of months (I’m a few months older than him) so we are young but I am way more mature and experienced than he is relationship wise. I want more out of a relationship than what I had in high school and I’m sure his maturity level has a lot to do with this. I’m not pushing marriage or anything like that but just a more mature relationship, I mean we live together, I thought we were growing but now we are at a holt and he seems comfortable knowing that I’m always going to be here so everything else is out the window.
Help!
Hi, @ nainai
this situation honestly sounds similar to mine. I am going through the same thing. It honestly feels like your stuck in limbo. I have desided to leave my patner of 4 years. Cause I used to do the exact same thing. I would say I’m moving and now he knows that I’m not going to. And never takes that seriously. I found myself even wanting to meet other guys which is wrong I no. But it has taken me to this point where I am considering other men in my life.
I think maybe you and your patner should have some time apart. it will clear your thorts more. i found this very useful and i have made up my mind. i do believe you are showing sgins of falling out of love.
And I no deep down in your heart you no what has to be done if you are feeling this way.
All I can say is it doesn’t get any better and this is from my own personal experience. I’m not saying its going to be the same for you. But you are feeling the same as how u felt and I have learnt the hard way.
I need help please I have been with my partner for 12-1/2 years and we have a son together but I don’t know if I still live him or not but after reading this article it is very clear we fight all the time we don’t have sex not for a long time and if we do I don’t enjoy it at all he us 20 years older than me and our likes and interest are VERY different , before I didn’t care to sacrifice my likes for him and try to do the best that I could to please him my 8 years old son loves his dad and I don’t blame him he a great Dad when he can and I say can because I think he doesn’t have his priorities strait he owns his own business and it’s all he care abouts ,I understand that’s how we pay for our things but we need family time too , he says he understand that but never does anything to try to make it happen I really don’t know what to do I don’t want my Don to loose his Dad and all that comes from a family but at the same time my life is just flying by and I have not accomplish any of my dreams because I am always too busy working in his at least that’s how I feel his business is now going through the toughs time ever but my life just keeps getting worst please help me would I be a horrible mom and person if I tell him I don’t love him anymore and that I want to leave
P.S I have tried talking to him about this but he just gets mad and starts yelling and says I don’t see any problem or things I am doing wrong I am just trying to support my family
Please advise me ASAP
Nikki!!!
DO NOT listen to Martin. He is wring and sounds like an abuser himself.
Domestic violence is ILLEGAL and it is not your fault.
Your son deserves to grow up in a household free from abuse, and he deserves a strong mother who loves him as a role model, not a man who hurts others.
Please please please call a refuge, or even police when you decide to leave. Be SAFE! Many women do get killed when they leave their abusers, PLEASE take care if yourself and your kids. You deserve to be happy.