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How to Text a Guy: 18 Secrets to Go From Timid to Text Temptress

Texting someone you like can be nerve-wracking, but it doesn’t have to be. So here are some great ideas for how to text a guy!

how to text a guy

We’ve all been there – you finally got the number of that hot guy you like, and you really want to make the first move and send him a message to get the ball rolling. However, you aren’t sure what to say. Should you be totally casual and keep things cool, or really flirty and forward to let him know how you feel? If you want to get the best response, then this guide should help! Here are some do’s and don’ts for how to text a guy that you like.

The do’s for how to text a guy

Sometimes we just don’t know where to start. So, let’s start with just a short, high-level summary. Here’s a a brief overview:

[Read: Want to send the first text? This is how you initiate the conversation]

#1 Always ask a question.

#2 Try to be unique, but don’t try too hard.

#3 Be a bit flirty so he knows you like him – there is no point in playing games.

#4 Say something about yourself – if he’s interested, he’ll want to know.

#5 Finish with something catchy to keep him interested!

Now let’s take a look at how to text a guy in more depth.

[Read: How to flirt with a guy over text in 11 sexy steps]

#6 Your opening. Start with something strong to hook him in straight away. Ask him an interesting question – this way he’ll be more likely to respond. If you are too cryptic or vague, you might confuse him or he might just put his phone away, get distracted, and then forget to text you back.

Your question should engage him, but don’t make it overly complicated or tricky to answer. Be direct and clear, but keep the question fairly open-ended. If it’s just a yes or no, it might be hard to keep the text conversation going after a while.

Most importantly, however, keep it casual. You don’t need to come up with the wittiest, cleverest, and most interesting question ever. Something like ‘how was the party last night?’ is good enough, so don’t spend hours fretting over what to say. [Read: Should you text him first? 10 questions to find your answer right away]

#7 Be engaging. If you come across as fun and lively in your text, this will inspire him to respond in the same way. Be open, respond to his questions in detail, and enthusiastically.

If he writes something funny, or teases you in any way, don’t just respond with a smiley face, think how you can tease him back or respond in kind. Remember, your aim is to start a whole conversation with this guy – if you keep things lively and interesting, the conversation is more likely to flow. [Read: Totally crushing? Must-know secrets to text the guy you like]

#8 Be interested. Ask him lots of questions about himself. Not only does it show that you are interested in him, but he’ll love being able to tell you all about himself, so it works well on two levels.

It will also indicate to you whether he is also interested in you, as he should ask you some questions about yourself as well.

#9 Don’t be afraid of being silly. Guys are attracted to girls with a good sense of humor, so don’t be afraid to be silly and playful. Making fun of yourself is also a good way to show that you are not stuck up and that you don’t take yourself too seriously.

If you are more open and playful with him, then he will be more likely to open up to you too and then you’ll start a fun, interesting conversation which you’ll both look forward to continuing when you meet face to face!  [Read: 40 cute texts to make him smile and miss you more]

#10 Be interesting. While it’s really important to be interested in him, don’t forget to be interesting too! You need to show him that you have friends and hobbies and interests – that you lead a full and interesting life.

If all you do is ask questions about him and avoid ones about yourself, he’ll soon start to wonder if there is much to you. Let him know what you’re up to, when you are hanging out with friends or doing something cool, or working on a skill or hobby that you have.

You can also use this to see what common interests you might have – if you discover that you both like the same things, this could be the perfect way to arrange a date to meet up and do it together! [Read: How to tell if a guy likes you through texts – 15 no-fail signs]

#11 Your sign off. Knowing when to end a text conversation with a guy you like is crucial. You need to finish strong so that he feels like he wants more. You don’t want to cut the conversation short or make it seem like you aren’t interested, but at the same time, you want to leave it so he feels as though he could have said more, but shouldn’t, because he doesn’t want to bug you!

It’s also important to look for indicators that he is done with the conversation for now, and not push him into writing anymore. If his replies start becoming short, gives one-word answers to your questions, or keeps repeating how busy he is, it might be time to leave him be. [Read: Why did he suddenly stop texting? You probably made one of these 13 mistakes]

If you feel like he is always the one ending the conversation, try to get in there first next time so it doesn’t feel like he is the one always calling all the shots.

End the conversation so it will be easy for either of you to pick up the phone and start the conversation again. Tell him you can’t wait to see him, or let him know you are doing something super interesting – then it will be easy for him to ask you how it was later on.

You could also try to get him to ask you out – saying something like, ‘it would be fun to hang out sometime’ keeps it cool but makes it obvious you’d like to see him in person, and then the ball is in his court to ask you out. [Read: 14 ways to show a guy you like him, and still be a tease]

The don’ts for how to text a guy

So, what shouldn’t you do when texting a guy you like? Here are some tips.

#12 Be needy. If you already sound like you are a bit clingy in text, he’s going to be put off from the very start. Keep texts fun and breezy and he’ll feel like you’ll be a great person to hang out with more. This is a HUGE no-no when learning how to text a guy.

#13 Text more than once in a row. Give him a chance to reply. If you repeatedly text him, you are going to come across as desperate right from the start – and no one wants that! [Read: 20 flirty texting facts to help you have a good love life]

#14 Reply straight away. Make him wait a while. If you respond immediately to his every text, it kind of sounds like you are just sitting around all day waiting for him to get in touch.

#15 Be too complimentary or eager. While it’s nice to be flirtatious, don’t go overboard. If you gush about everything he says and does like it’s the best thing you have ever heard he’s going to start finding it a bit much. Drop in a compliment or two and be keen to find out more about him, but don’t be afraid to gently mock him or use sarcasm too. [Read: Want to be irresistible to men? 14 secrets to hook any guy]

#16 Use too many emoticons. If you want to know how to text a guy right, don’t do this. Lots of people, particularly men find emoticons slightly off-putting. It also can demonstrate a lack of ability to say anything for yourself. Keep them to a minimum or just don’t use them at all.

#17 Get too deep. Getting too intense and deep too early is a no-no. Even if he is the man of your dreams, it’s best to try and keep this to yourself until you are 100% sure that he feels the same way! [Read: 13 easy things to talk about with a guy to keep him completely hooked]

#18 Send nude pics. Look, there is nothing wrong with sending sexy pictures to a guy – but don’t make this the first thing you do before you have even gotten to know him. You never know how he is going to respond to something like that, so leave it out of your text routine for now!

[Read: 20 flirty ways to text your crush and leave them totally smitten]

These 18 tips for how to text a guy are great ways to help you get a good response from the one you like. They will give him a good impression of you, keep the conversation flowing, and hopefully lead to that all important date!

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Bethany Locke
Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. She works as a f...
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