How to Play Hard to Get with a Guy and Make It Work for You

how to play hard to get with a guy

When we like someone, we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeve. However, learning how to play hard to get with a guy might work better for you.

Many women have problems with dating. See, the dating culture evolved into something much more casual. On the other hand, the traditional principles haven’t evolved. Men usually don’t enter a relationship with a girl who gives them everything they want, even though that’s what they want. In the end, they want the reward, which is you, but they want to chase it. This is why I’m going to teach you how to play hard to get with a guy.

Think of a lion hunting a deer. Sorry, but you’re the deer. They need to work for their dinner. If it’s too easy, of course, they take it, but it won’t be as satisfying. [Read: Why men love the chase more than anything else]

How to play hard to get with a guy

I used to have a huge problem when it came to finding a relationship. I didn’t understand why guys wouldn’t want to commit to me. I’m attractive, intelligent, and funny. These are all qualities that people look for in a relationship. But my dating life never evolved from just casually dating guys.

And then it struck me. I give them everything they want right away because I like them. Why would I hold back when I feel something for a guy? Well, because once they get everything they want up front, they’re less likely to be interested in anything long-term. Trust me, knowing how to play hard to get with a guy works.

#1 Understand the dating culture. Here’s the thing, you can have casual sex. I’m not saying not to have casual sex, but understand the dating culture we live in. Men love casual sex, but they don’t want to commit to someone so willing to sleep with them.

I know, it’s stupid. Really, it is. I mean, they don’t mind having sex with women but then they want a holy girlfriend. Anyways, it’s important to understand how it works so that you flow easily through it. [Read: Be prepared for these 12 consequences of having sex too soon]

#2 Don’t be so willing. Men are strange. They want you to be interested, but if you’re too enthusiastic, it’s a red flag. So, play the game. Don’t be too willing to hang out with him if he asks. Instead of replying right away with, “Yes, I’d love to,” write, “Sure, I just need to double check something and see if I have time.” It shows him you’re interested, but he’s not the number one priority. [Read: How to effectively play coy and win the guy]

#3 Don’t sleep with him right away. I used to be a huge supporter of casual sex, and I still am to some extent. It’s fine if you simply want to have sex with someone, but if you’re looking for a relationship, don’t be so quick to hop into bed with him.

This shows him that you’re not just someone he’s going to catch and release, he’s going to have to work for it. So, instead of having sex, kiss him. You can even make out with him but no more than that. Leave him hanging.

#4 Do mention your male friends. Men don’t like competition. I mean, neither do women, so mentioning the opposite sex always creates a reaction. Now, you don’t want to mention other men in the way that you’re seeing them. Make it clear that they’re just friends. However, do show him that other men are interested in you and that he’s not the only one. [Read: How to subtly ignore a guy and get him to chase you]

#5 Give just enough attention. We want all the attention in the world from someone we like. However, when we get it, we become bored. What you need to do is give him just enough attention. The attention he needs but don’t give him the attention he wants.

Test the minimum limits because everyone is different. By giving him the attention he needs, he works harder to get the attention he thinks he deserves.

#6 Do put in effort though. Here’s the thing, you can get him to chase you like a wild dog, but you also have to put in some effort yourself. If not, he’ll become bored and lose interest in the chase. The thing about chasing is that it becomes more fun the closer you think you are to getting what you want. But this means you’re also going to have to chase them as well, to keep the tension going. [Read: How to make the man you like chase you and want you more]

#7 Don’t get too personal. Listen, the odds are you don’t really know that much about this guy which is completely cool. But, don’t let this person know everything about you. If you want to let someone in, make sure they’re worthy of getting to know the intimate things about you. If not, you open yourself up to get burned real bad.

#8 Make sure there’s space. If you play hard to get, find the right balance between giving him enough affection but also giving him space. If you’re always available, they don’t really see you as an option but rather someone always there. The people most desired are the ones who seem to be busy and not always available when the other person would like.

#9 Don’t tell him you like him. I know you want to tell him how you feel but you don’t have to. In fact, if you want to know how to play hard to get with a guy and get him to pursue you, you should keep him guessing. Of course, you can show that you like him, but be careful with how far you go with that. Show your feelings for him like giving a hint. Give him subtle signs, be flirtatious, but don’t profess your love for him on a Friday night together. [Read: How to show a guy you like him and still be a tease]

#10 Do reply to his texts. But not right away. Listen, he’s not going to die if you reply twenty minutes after he wrote you, he can wait. It shows that you’re busy, yet, you do reply to him and keep the conversation going which shows interest. Ignoring may work, but it’s not nice. Instead, just take your time when it comes to replying to him.

#11 Turn him down. If he asks you out and you’re busy, don’t be afraid to turn him down. However, do offer another day where you could go out. This way, it shows your interest in him, and you’re not rejecting his offer. Giving him hope motivates him to continue to chase you. [Read: How to get a guy to like you without compromising yourself]

#13 Don’t play with people you don’t like. If you play hard to get with a guy that you’re not interested in, that’s unnecessary and cruel. The whole point of playing hard to get with a guy is because you have feelings for him, and you want something more. If you’re not interested, you only use him for your ego.

[Read: 12 moves to play it cool with your crush and win them over]

Learning how to play hard to get with a guy isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it’s better for you to not give them what they want right away. Make them sweat a little. It’ll be more rewarding for them.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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