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How to Text a Guy First: 24 Ways to Say Hi & Get Him Texting Back

Knowing how to text a guy first is an art. You want to sound interested but not too interested, right? Well, here’s how to text him and leave him hooked!

how to text a guy first

Sometimes you’ve gotta make life happen, and that’s why you should learn how to text a guy first. If you wait around for him to make the first move, you might get impatient waiting.

And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with texting a guy first. No, it doesn’t make you desperate or needy.

In fact, it makes you seem like a confident and ballsy woman – and those traits are always admirable. You have his number, Facebook, or Insta account, but nothing is happening. He’s not texting you, and you’re not texting him. Well, how do you expect things to progress if something doesn’t happen?

It’s time to take action and learn how to text a guy first, especially if he’s not making a move. *for wherever reason – maybe he’s shy!

Even if nothing ends up working out, that’s okay. The point is you decided not to wait around for him to make a move, nor did you waste any time playing silly games.

[Read: What to text a guy – 29 conversation starter examples to start texting back and forth]

Why should you text a guy first?

When you know how to text a guy first, then you’re taking things into your own hands. You’re not waiting for a guy to make the first move, which could probably take forever. Some guys are incredibly awkward and shy, so it’s almost an impossible situation to wait for them to start texting.

Knowing how to start the text conversation and keep it going is a great dating skill as it lifts the burden off a lot of guys. Of course, you should also know when he’s not interested in you, but hey, you made the first move – that’s a start!

There’s also something admirable about a woman who had the guts to text a guy first, regardless of what anybody else might think. It makes you appear certain, very confident, and totally in control. It’s like you sitting in the driver’s seat, and asking him “so are you in or are you out? I don’t have time to waste!” How badass is that?!

[Read: How to text a guy – 18 secrets to go from timid to text temptress]

How to text a guy first and leave a great impression

Men are used to initiating everything, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t helpful to know how to text a guy first. There are many scenarios where a guy can end up impressed when you contact him first. Whether it’s a friend, a stranger, or a co-worker, you can always text a guy first without appearing weird or needy.

So if you want to text a guy first and play it cool at the same time, here’s everything you need to remember and follow!

1. Say something other than “hi”

It doesn’t take a lot of common sense for this to be obvious. Saying “hi” is fine, but there needs to be more.

Bring up something that happened at school or work, mention a meme or video clip you saw, or ask him how he is. Texting him ‘hi’ and nothing more, is the last thing you should do when figuring out how to text a guy first.

Your first text has to be something with a particular impact, and “hi” doesn’t just do the trick. It’s a boring opener, really. [Read: 25 very cute and fun ways to say “hi” in a text message without using the word “hi”]

2. What’s your goal of texting him?

Keep your goals in mind when texting him. If you want to hang out with him, make sure your text conversation will eventually lead to that.

The goal of texting him should be the entire foundation of your texting relationship. If you want to land a date with him, everything you say moving forward should be towards that goal.

Don’t start the conversation and then dry text him hoping he’ll carry the whole conversation forward just because you made the effort to initiate it. That’s lazy and would annoy anyone! [Read: The common texting habits of girls that push guys away]

3. Don’t text him late at night

We know it’s really fun texting at night as you tend to get more personal with one another. However, it also leads to booty-calls, which is a big no in this case. If you want something serious, don’t text him after nine pm. Anything later than that, you’ll give him the impression that you want something else.

Maybe it’s okay to text him late at night when you get to know one another better. *when you’ve made it clear you’re not a booty call!* [Read: How to read mixed signals from a guy and interpret his real intentions]

4. Wait for him to reply

Don’t send him another text right after you sent him one. Give him time to reply. This is something girls tend to do and frankly, it’s going to ruin your chances with this guy. *if your goal is to land a date, that is.*

You need to give him time to reply and not take his silence as a confirmation to spam him with more texts. What if he didn’t receive your messages? He probably did. What if he didn’t like what you said? Don’t overthink it too much. Just wait for a while and give him the time to respond. He will!

5. Ask him questions

If you want to get to know him, ask him questions. Now, this isn’t a job interview, so you don’t need to grill him. Don’t ask him intense questions too early on either, but stay with light but interesting topics. Questions are always a fun way to get to know him so ask away! [Read: 110+ sexy and dirty questions to ask a guy and subtly seduce him]

6. If he ends the conversation, don’t text him

If the conversation ends, you don’t need to restart the conversation an hour later. When you’re figuring out how to text a guy first, remember to give some space for things to develop. Smothering him or making him feel suffocated won’t grab his attention, but it’ll push him away altogether.

Wait for him to come around and text you first. After all, it only makes sense since a conversation works both ways. [Read: Why did he stop texting me? 13 rules you MUST follow]

7. Don’t be glued to your phone

When he texts you, don’t reply right away. It’s okay to give it a few minutes *or even an hour or two if you’re texting back and forth all day* until you respond. In fact, this makes you seem like you have an interesting life.

Nobody wants to text with someone who’s not interesting, so don’t be afraid that you’ll lose him by texting back a second later. Everyone is busy and has things going on in their lives, and he knows that. So, reply when you have time.

8. Let the conversation end naturally

We know you like him, but if you feel the conversation is ending, don’t try to hang on to it. The worst thing is when you see someone is trying to keep the conversation alive, when it’s dead already. The more you force the conversation to keep going, the uglier it gets.

Not to mention, you’ll be forced to have a dead-end conversation with one-word replies. It doesn’t mean you lost your chance – just give it time. [Read: How not to be a dry texter – The signs you’re one and the quick fixes]

9. Stay away from sex-talk

If you’re only looking for a casual fling, you can eventually slide into some sexual topics. But, if you want something serious with him, then avoid talking about sex right away.

This is a big no, especially if your goal is to land a date with that guy you like! There’s more to you than what’s between your legs and for now, he doesn’t need to know.  [Read: How to flirt with a guy over text – Everything you need to know] 

10. Spell properly

Listen, we don’t care how old you are; you need to spell properly. There’s no need for you to write, “brb,” “u2,” “sup” – come on. This is a huge turn-off in texting, no matter what gender you are. It’s basic texting 101; you should know this by now.

11. Let him text you first after

If you made a move and texted him first, from now on, you don’t necessarily need to be the one who always makes the first move. Let him text you first a few times as well.

This is a good test to know if he likes you as much as you like him. Is there mutual effort in the conversation? Is he initiating conversations as well? If he doesn’t text you unless you text him, maybe he’s not as interested in you as you think. [Read: What it means when he never texts you first but always replies]

12. Show your personality

So you want to know how to text a guy first? That’s the easy part. If you want to develop a connection, show your personality in your texts. This is one of the most important things to remember if you want to know how to text a guy first.

In a text conversation, a guy falls for your personality since he gets a glimpse of who you are over text. If you have a great sense of humor, don’t be afraid to crack jokes and make him laugh.

13. Keep the text short and sweet

No one, whether they’re a woman or man, enjoys reading an essay-length text message. You have to keep your text short *a few lines long unless there really is something important to say*, or you’ll automatically bore him to death.

Make it short, concise, and direct to the point. If it has to be longer, then send a voice message or better yet, call him. Your texts should be short and sweet. There’s no need to write a novel. [Read: What to text a guy that will get his attention – 25 texts that work like magic]

14. Don’t ask yes or no questions when you text a guy first

When thinking of the right questions to ask him, make it as broad as possible. Keep it vague if you must, but avoid questions like “had breakfast?” or “are you at work?”

Make sure you’re asking questions that won’t result in one-word answers because you’re not getting the best conversation with those questions.

15. Use your humor

If you want to know how to text a guy first, use your humor to your advantage. Text him a cheesy pick-up line, use gifs and memes, or say something that sticks in his mind.

This is the best way to grab his attention and ensure that he picks up his phone to text you back immediately because he has so much fun every time you both have a conversation over text! [Read: How to be a fun texter & make them laugh while reading your texts]

16. Find common ground

If you want to develop a connection with this guy over text, find something in common. Maybe you both like the same shows, or maybe they share your passion for music.

Whatever it is, if you want to know how to text a guy first and keep the conversation going, find something you can both talk about for hours and never get bored. It’ll keep him engaged and interested enough to keep texting with you!

17. Talk about your pet

Everyone *unless you’re an unusual human being*, loves talking about their pets. If you’re a pet owner, you can send him a photo of your dog over a text or even talk about it with him. If he also has a pet, even better! You can share your love for your pets with one another, and it’ll be the cutest conversation ever.

18. Use emojis but don’t overuse them

Emojis are a lot of fun, and they’re perfect to slip in a “feeling” with your words. And they’re also great to use because you don’t seem extremely cold to the guy you’re texting. But if you want to know how to text a guy first, remember not to overuse emojis.

There are only so many smiles and emojis you can use before he sees you with an addiction to emojis! You also don’t have to use tons of emojis in every sentence – one or two is enough.

Use an emoji or two when you start texting a guy, and see how he responds to them. Does he use emojis back? If he avoids using any emojis in his texts, that’s your cue to tone down your emoji usage as well. [Read: 20 flirty emojis that’ll make you a pro flirty texter in no time]

19. Mention something about how you met

If you met in a bar or dating app, make a reference to the setting or maybe his dating profile. It’s a great text conversation starter in learning how to text a guy first.

You can even tease him about how cheesy his dating profile is, and that’d make a great laugh on just the first few texts.

20. Leave him wanting more

If you want to keep him hooked to texting you, then keep the mystery alive. You can’t spill all your darkest secrets and personal details over text.

Leave some for wonder because that element of mystery is what will make him ask you on a date or to hang out with him. If you reveal everything, then he won’t want to ask you out any longer. [Read: How to be mysterious without going completely overboard in the role]

21. Don’t keep asking him what he’s doing

The most common repetitive questions in texts are “what’s up?” and “what are you doing?” both of which are very dull starters. You already asked him once, and there’s no need to keep repeating this.

If you don’t have anything else to say, then stop forcing the conversation. Try again in a few hours or days when something interesting is happening.

22. Be mindful of your tone

Texting is open to misinterpretation, so be careful if you’re attempting a joke or sarcastic comment. He could take this seriously and be offended by your text, leaving him to stop texting you entirely.

Always watch your words and tone, especially if you don’t know one another that well yet. This is where an emoji can work wonders to get a point across, but remember to use this in moderation. [Read: Texting your crush – A step-by-step guide to doing it right]

23. Flirt a little

If your goal is to land a date with him, then flirting is important! This adds a little fun to the text conversation, and it gives him clear signs that you like him.

Playful banter is also a way to make a lasting impression on him. Just be sure not to go overboard in your flirting moves that can potentially make him feel off.

24. Take it off text

You’ll know when it’s time to take your conversation off of text messages. And when you get that feeling, it’s time for you to make a move.

Or, better yet, make the guy make the move and ask you to hang out or on a date! This means you’ve done everything right in the steps above, and it’s time to take things up a notch.

[Read: How to get a guy out to ask you out – 15 easy, sneaky, and really fun ways!]

So, how to text a guy first?

When you use these tips and learn how to text him first, it becomes as easy as riding a bike. All you need to remember is to stay confident, show your personality, and avoid regular starters such as “hi” and “what’s up?”

[Read: How to get any guy to kiss you whenever you want him to]

You may think learning how to text a guy first is scary, but you will get better at it with each try, we promise. This way, you’re taking matters into your own hands and initiating a conversation with him instead of waiting forever for a guy to make the first move.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...