If you chose to read this feature, you likely had a situation where you thought you were totally cool with a guy and suddenly you are asking, why did he stop texting me? If I was a good girlfriend of yours, I’d probably list about ten reasons why he may still like you, that it wasn’t your fault, or even that you can do better. But I am not.
If a guy stopped texting you, it is probably best to not dwell on it. Take it for what it is worth and move on. If, however, you want to make sure it doesn’t happen again, or you really want to get back into his good graces, keep these tips in mind if he comes back online or you start texting any other guy.
Stick to these basic thirteen rules so they won’t go radio silent again
The biggest problem with a text message or email is that it is not always read the way you mean. It is read through the jaded thoughts and preconceived notions of the reader. What do I mean by that? Whatever you put into written word has the potential to be misread.
Texting is a tricky thing because you may have sent him a message that was taken the wrong way and scared him off—or even made him mad. When texting a guy, follow these 13 general and basic rules, especially before you become an official couple. [Read: 11 moves to flirt with a guy over text effortlessly]
#1 Less is more. When you look at a conversation between boys and girls, what you likely notice is there is one column that goes on and on. The answer to it is a one-liner, only for it to bounce back to a series of lines and one answer. Men are not into texting their life story or even a funny story. They don’t let those fingers do the walking. When you are texting a guy, keep it simple.
If it is anything more than three lines, just wait until you see them, it makes for more conversation when together. Also, if it is a subject you want to broach with them, nothing good comes from a text message with too many emotions or questions. [Read: 12 common texting habits of girls that push guys away]
#2 Don’t be too eager. If they text you, don’t respond to him like you have been waiting all day for a ping from him. When getting a text message, take the time to do other things, and make him think you aren’t just sitting around waiting to hear from him—even if you are.
If you seem too needy or eager, he is going to get the wrong impression and then everything coming from that appears too high-maintenance or demanding. Just give it some time, some thought, and definitely at least ten minutes or more. [Read: Totally crushing? Must-know secrets to text a crush back]
#3 If they don’t respond, don’t send another message. If you sent him a message and he doesn’t answer, let it be. Often, we overanalyze what we sent and then start to get panicky and wonder if what we wrote and what they read are two different things. That makes us pick up the phone to text, explaining what the last text said. What that interprets on his end is that you are needy and insecure.
If you send a message, and he doesn’t answer, sending him more isn’t a reminder to answer, it is an irritation to ignore more. Before you know it, you’ve sent three text messages saying things like “just checking in” or “hey” without any reply with a reason. He is avoiding you now. [Read: 20 ways your overanalyzing is ruining your relationship]
#4 Always use neutral language without emotion. We are dramatic by nature. We can’t help it; it is in our genes. Guys aren’t wordy people. When you put things in writing, they take it literally. If you start to use emotional words, it overwhelms them, and they become unsure how to respond.
A text message should be one of two things: completely unemotional or sexy. Those are the only two a guy knows what to do with. Before you send him a text filled with love and emotion, think twice. Those things you should be able to say to his face, and if you can’t, then maybe you shouldn’t be texting them either… just saying.
#5 Don’t emoji unless necessary. I think emojis are funny. My friends think that they are funny, guys… not so much. There is nothing cute about an emoji to a guy. The only two times to use them is when you try to ensure he isn’t misreading your text as something upset when it is happy, and you are trying very hard to calm a situation down. Just don’t add them. They irritate and annoy men, not cutesy at all! [Read: What you need to text a guy when you’re making the first move]
#6 Don’t text when you know they have something important going on. Don’t try to get his attention when you know that he has an important meeting at work, or he is out with his mother.
Trying to gain attention at the wrong time only frustrates him that you aren’t respecting his boundaries. It is like showing up at the conference table to ask him about what he wants for dinner. If you put it under the guise that you want to know how things are going, or how they went, just wait until he contacts you, and then you can ask. Don’t interject yourself into things you weren’t invited to. [Read: Whoa there! 8 signs you’re coming on way to strong]
#7 Don’t be passive aggressive. Yep, passive aggression can be read in text messages too. If you say things like “fine” or “whatever” it is going to either piss him off or be lost. If you use a text message, either be honest about how you feel or wait until you have time to confront him in person. Either way he answers, you aren’t going to be satisfied, and it only ends up in a guaranteed fight.
#8 Too many questions are never a good thing. Men hate questions. They hate when you ask them to their face. They don’t like it any more in a text message. Asking random questions only frustrates him. Unless you have something funny to add or lighthearted to say, save the questions for the interrogation room. Questions only make a guy run, and you don’t want to have to chase him. That is just plain crazy.
#9 If you wouldn’t say it to their face, don’t put it in a text. We often make the mistake that we have text muscles. Meaning we say things in a text message that we wouldn’t dare say in a conversation expecting that it is either acceptable *which it isn’t*, or that it is going to grant us our desired effect, which it isn’t. If you wouldn’t say it point blank, don’t put it into words in a text.
#10 Don’t be overly eager sexually. Don’t send him pictures of your private areas unless he asks for them. It may be cute in certain circumstances, but extremely embarrassing if he opens it while out with his parents or his boss. Sexting should be given a heads up and not something that you give of freely. [Read: 10 really annoying girlfriend habits guys just hate]
#11 Don’t sound jealous. If you sound jealous in a text message, that is never good. If you are jealous of some other thing or girl in his life, either learn to accept it, or move on. He isn’t going to placate your jealous nature in a response text—that is for sure.
#12 Don’t send them your life story. Again, keep it simple. Never text more than you get back. Guys don’t want to sit around and read about how the red boots you had on didn’t go with the red skirt. If it is girl talk, why would you think a guy wants to read it? Even more, if it is something personal that you really want to share or discuss, you aren’t creating intimacy clueing him in on a text message. [Read: How to impress a guy in 13 oh-so-awesome ways!]
#13 Remember whatever you share via text can be shared with the world. If you send him something, you send it to the world. You may think that it is a personal conversation between you and him, but the reality is you could have texted everyone he knows if he decides to share. All it takes is a copy and paste or forward, to tell the world everything you wanted to say and how you feel.
Even in the most trusting of relationships, you shouldn’t put many things in writing. They often come back to bite you in the butt, or sometimes show the world your butt, if you know what I mean.
[Read: 20 texting etiquette tips & tricks for classy dating]
If the man you liked just stopped texting you cold, yes, he probably isn’t into you. Sorry, that’s the truth of the matter. If you want to make sure it doesn’t happen again, avoid the miscommunication by following good texting etiquette with your guy.
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A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...
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