Learning how to text a guy is tricky if you want to get the balance right. If you can do that, you’ll keep him focused on you and desperate to speak!
You like a guy, okay, you like him a lot. And if anything is certain, you’re terrified that he’ll get bored soon. So, you’re wondering how to text a guy to keep him interested in you, and wanting more, right? The more obsessed you get with keeping him interested, the more likely your worst fears become your reality.
Worrying about losing him will only make you more paranoid and nervous when talking to him. And that’s what will make him lose interest in you.
As cliché as it sounds, you need to be yourself. Your authenticity is what’ll interest guys to keep texting you. But there’s still a little more to it than that. [Read: What men find attractive in women – 18 secrets most women don’t know]
Why is it important to keep him interested in texting you?
When you keep him interested enough in texting you, you can actually land a date with him. And it’s possible to ruin your chances with that guy you like if you don’t know how to text him properly.
Everything starts with texting, so you sabotage your chances of building something with the guy you like if you can’t keep him interested enough to text with you. While not everything depends on a text conversation, it’s the basis for connecting with him.
The moment you learn how to text a guy to keep him interested, you’ll see your dating life begin to flourish. You can even use this with your crush and you never know, you could end up getting everything you’ve ever wanted! [Read: 28 super-cool ways to text your crush and keep him really interested]
How to text a guy you like & keep him interested
So, it’s time you learned the little tips and tricks you can use the next time you’re texting him. They’re sure to leave him hooked.
Follow these tips and you’ll appear interested but not eager, and he’ll always be excited to text you and crave for more. [Read: How to text a guy first – 24 easy ways to say hi and get him texting back and wanting more]
1. Less is more
You may want to explain to him in detail about your day, but remember, less is more.
You don’t need to send him an essay. Because unless he’s smitten by you, he’s not going to read it. Be concise and direct when sending him a text message.
2. If it sounds boring, don’t send it
The worst texts are the, “Oh my god, my dog just licked my face – he’s so sweet,” or “I’m so full from dinner.” Who wants to read that? He may smile, and then what… complete silence?
Seriously, how is a guy supposed to respond to a message like that? You might’ve as well gone with the boring “How’s life?” [Read: How to not be a boring texter and keep your crush interested]
3. Don’t double-text
Women always do this to the point that it drives men away in text conversations. If you want to know how to text a guy to keep him interested, don’t double-text him at all costs. One text is enough, just be patient while waiting.
We assure you that he did receive your text, and he didn’t fall off the face of the earth! [Read: What is double texting and the second text rules to play it cool]
4. Ask him questions
Questions are vital if you want to know how to text a guy and keep him interested. Want to get to know him? Then ask him questions.
Don’t make him feel like he’s sitting in an interview, but amuse him with your questions.
They shouldn’t be too shallow, but they shouldn’t be too deep either. Save those for when you actually get on a date! Until then, keep him on his toes by asking the right set of questions. [Read: 85 very fun and flirty questions to text a guy and leave him even more interested in you]
5. Have a life outside of your phone
You like him, and you’re excited to text him, but you also have a life outside of him. Nothing’s worse than showing him that all you have going in your life is him. This is the most unattractive thing you can do.
Go out with your friends, live life, and if you’re so busy having fun that you miss his text for a couple of hours, guess what? All of that only makes you way, way more desirable to a guy! [Read: 20 subtle ways to get a man to chase you and desire you a lot more]
6. Give open-ended answers to questions
Have you ever asked someone a question, and they texted you back with a “Yes” or “No”? There’s not much you can do with a response like that.
So if he asks you a question, don’t just answer with one word assuming he’ll continue to put in all the work to carry the conversation forward.
When he asks you something, even if it only requires a yes-or-no, answer his question and ask him something else in return, or even better, explain the answer by adding a detail that gets his mind running. [Read: 30 flirty text messages to send a guy and leave him fantasizing about you]
7. Let him text you first
Guys are all about the challenge. You need to let him text you first. While it’s perfectly okay for you to text him first, you shouldn’t be doing it all the time.
By seeing if he initiates conversations, you’ll be able to gauge his feelings for you. If you’re always the person starting conversations, he may not be that into you.
8. Respect time
He probably won’t have time to text you every three minutes if he has a full-time job. This is something you need to understand and respect when you’re trying to figure out how to text a guy to keep him interested.
A lot of women are very demanding in this aspect, but while time is an important aspect, respect that he has a career and personal life. Patiently wait for him to text you back as he will when he has the time. [Read: Am I texting too much? 16 signs they think you’re a clingy texter]
9. Write properly
If you really want to know how to text a guy to keep him interested, apply basic texting etiquette.
Abbreviating everything may seem more convenient, but it also makes you look like a twelve-year-old. Whatever language you’re texting in, use proper spelling and grammar. [Read: 25 texting examples to get a guy’s attention and work your magic]
10. Show off your personality & be yourself
Don’t pretend to be someone else to keep his attention. He’s eventually going to see your true colors. Authenticity is the most attractive thing in the world!
This goes for your sense of humor, likes and dislikes, and the important things about you. If you like Star Wars, what are the odds that he might like it too?
11. Send a *non-dirty* photo
It’s easy to assume that all men are into dirty and seductive texting conversations, but this isn’t the case. Not that there’s anything wrong with dirty photos, but sending him a nude photo isn’t the way to keep him interested.
Send him a cute selfie or a photo of where you are, and never rush into sending him naughty photos. You need to give him a sense of who you are underneath all that flirtation, and dirty photos aren’t the way to go *at least not yet!* [Read: How to take a good selfie and look cute every time you snap a photo]
12. Don’t just text ‘hi’
Could you be any more boring? In the same way you probably don’t like it when a guy texts you “Hi,” he won’t either.
It’s a dull text and doesn’t get you excited to start a conversation. If you’re wondering how to text a guy to keep him interested, remember to start the conversation with a catchy opener.
It’s also best to avoid openers such as “What’s up?” and “How are you doing?” You need to think of a catchier starter that will really get his attention to stay interested in texting you. [Read: The 25 cutest ways to say ‘hi’ in a text message without ever saying HI]
13. Go easy with emojis
You’ve got to admit, emojis and smileys are always so much fun to use in texts. It keeps the conversation alive rather than dull and serious. However, that doesn’t mean you should go overboard either.
Too many emojis give off an immature vibe, and no one really is looking for that. Especially if you really like this guy, it’s best not to go overboard with them. Use a few every now and then, and see how he reciprocates. [Read: 15 no-fail signs to decode if a guy likes you by seeing his texts]
14. Casually flirt with him
Make the conversation as fun as possible by flirting with him casually! Don’t go too far, it has to be light and casual. You can text him cheesy pickup lines or flirty quips that also pass as humor.
This will definitely keep him interested enough to stay in a texting conversation with you. [Read: How to flirt over text and type your way into someone’s heart]
15. Be light and upbeat
Nobody wants to date someone incredibly serious all the time. Be an upbeat and fun texter if you want to know how to text a guy you like.
Show him your outgoing and positive personality! There’s nothing more attractive than someone who has a fun approach to life. After all, life is difficult enough, and there’s no need to add to that. [Read: How to attract men – the irresistible secrets no one ever talks about]
16. Talk about common interests
The best way to keep anyone interested in texting is to discuss mutual interests.
To do that, you’ll need to talk about what you like and ask them what they like as well. You never know, you might find the same love for your Netflix shows! [Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing to say]
17. Don’t be afraid to let your silly side show
Guys are attracted to girls with a witty sense of humor, so don’t be afraid to be silly and playful. Making fun of yourself is also a good way to show that you are not stuck up and that you don’t take yourself too seriously.
If you are more open and playful with him, then he will be more likely to open up to you. Then you’ll start a fun, interesting conversation that you’ll both look forward to continuing when you meet face to face! [Read: 40 cute texts to make him smile and miss you more]
18. Show you have depth
While it’s really important to be interested in him, don’t forget to be interesting too! You need to show him that you have friends and hobbies and interests – that you lead a full and interesting life.
If all you do is ask questions about him and avoid ones about yourself, he’ll soon start to wonder if there is much to you.
Let him know what you’re up to, when you are hanging out with friends or doing something cool, or working on a skill or hobby that you have. [Read: How to tell if a guy likes you through texts – 27 no-fail signs]
19. Let the conversation take its course
It’s easy to freak out when the conversation dies. Will he text back? Should you text him something to keep the conversation going?
It’s important not to always be the one to start the conversation. If you are, he’ll let you do all the work. You don’t want that. You want him to chase you.
So, if the conversation is going strong, then continue with it. If the conversation naturally dies out, then that’s also okay. You don’t have to be talking the whole day via text. [Read: When a guy stops texting you every day – why and what you need to do ASAP]
20. Never drunk text
Rule number one of how to text a guy you like – no drunk texts! Just put the phone down.
You’re not going to look cute. You’re going to come off as a mess, and you don’t need a dating coach to know that.
Let him get some sleep without your constant stream of nonsensical texts vibrating his phone. He’ll appreciate your ability to contain yourself and will likely respect you all the more for it.
21. Don’t be too revealing
If you’re just starting to talk to him, perhaps pouring out your failed relationship history or the fact you can never seem to get a boyfriend isn’t the best start.
Keep your personal information to yourself for a while. You don’t need to tell him everything so soon. [Read: How to make a guy like you by making him want you]
22. Talk about something he’s interested in
The best way to steer the attention away from you is to get him excited. Make him want to text you back right away, and he won’t pay any attention to how fast you text back.
Bring up a band he loves, a certain hobby you know he likes, or just something you know will get his attention. Once he’s the enthusiastic one, the pressure is off you. [Read: 30 effortless ways to keep a guy interested]
23. Tell him you had fun together
Take it to the next level and tell him he was really fun when you met or got together. Guys love hearing how great and funny they are. Starting with a compliment will play to a guy’s ego and he won’t think you’re desperate at all.
He’ll probably just ask you to elaborate on it a little bit. Once you have his attention, tread lightly. Don’t give him too many compliments, or he might start to smell desperation anyway.
24. If he’s busy, don’t push the conversation
When he’s busy or seems distracted, leave him alone. Guys don’t like texting when they’ve got a lot going on or having a rough day.
If you ask what he’s doing and he says he’s working or playing a sport, keep the text short by telling him to have fun and that you’ll talk later.
This shows him that you can give him the space he needs but that you’d also love to continue the conversation. [Read: Whoa there! Signs you’re coming on way too strong]
25. If he’s out with friends, don’t text him
Similarly, if you really want to know how to text a guy you like, then avoid it when he’s out with friends. Unless he’s texting you, he wants his freedom.
He wants to have fun with the guys. If he senses you intruding on that, he’ll start thinking you’re desperate, and that’ll make you look clingy and perhaps even controlling. [Read: The subtle yet obvious hints guys give when they want space]
26. Don’t text him late at night
Yes, this might get his attention, but it’ll be the very wrong kind of attention. He’ll basically smell the desperation on you the second he sees your name pop up on his phone after 10 pm.
You’re literally announcing that you want him so bad you’re willing to fall into booty-call territory. Not good. [Read: Booty-call – what it is, steps to get a friend interested and hook up for fun]
27. Don’t be overly sexual
Again, this is something that’ll probably get him to give you his attention, but it won’t be good. It shows him you’re so desperate for attention that you’ll disrespect yourself.
Not only is this really unattractive, but many guys who like to get into a serious relationship don’t play games like that.
28. Don’t reply ASAP
Since guys are so sensitive to clingy girls, you’ll have to stop replying right away.
If you’re always texting back within 30 seconds after he texts you, he’ll think it’s because you’re sitting around and waiting in anticipation for his text message.
You probably are, but you don’t want him to know that unless you both are already in the middle of a text conversation! [Read: How to play hard to get with a guy – 20 secrets to leave him smitten]
29. Choose your sign-off wisely
Knowing when to end a text conversation with a guy you like is crucial. You need to finish strong so that he feels like he wants more.
You don’t want to cut the conversation short or make it seem like you’re not interested. But at the same time, you want to leave it so he feels as though he could have said more, but shouldn’t, because he doesn’t want to bug you!
If his replies start becoming short, he gives one-word answers to your questions, or keeps repeating how busy he is, it might be time to leave him be. [Read: Why did he suddenly stop texting? You probably made one of these mistakes]
30. Don’t make it a big deal if he doesn’t text back
Some guys just won’t be interested, it’s just a fact of life. If you keep sending text after text in hopes that he’ll respond, you’re kidding yourself and making yourself look like a fool.
Just because they don’t respond doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.
Play it cool and accept that he just isn’t into it. It may have had nothing to do with the way you texted him, either. Remember that you deserve a guy who’ll text you back the second he gets the message. [Read: Steps to take to love being you]
31. Remember to plan to meet up in person
What’s the purpose of texting? It’s not to replace human contact, it’s used to make a plan to meet one another. Of course, this means you can text casually and flirt, but there should be a goal at the end.
When are we meeting? Where are we meeting? Take time to get to know them but do it face-to-face.
32. If you have a problem, don’t text it
If you get into a debate or have an argument, don’t try to solve it over text. We know it’s not easy to confront someone about something that bothers you but doing it via text won’t solve it. Either call him or see him. [Read: 15 signs you’re pushing people away and how you can change it]
33. Leave out the word ‘just’
Yes, it’s a small word. So what could possibly go wrong with this word? The word “just” is fine. However, it actually gives your sentence low value. Specifically, when you talk about yourself.
For example, “I’m at the beach” and “I’m just at the beach.” Do you see how the word “just” makes your activity look insignificant?
34. If you want to text him, do it
Now, if he’s not replying to your texts, stop. But if you haven’t spoken to him in a day or two, why not send him a text? You don’t need to wait for him to send you the first message.
Let him know you’re interested by making the first move. That way, he either makes the next move or not. [Read: How guys text when they like you – 15 things they do differently]
35. Don’t overthink your messages
You shouldn’t need to sit and think for hours about what you want to text back. Just write down what comes to your mind and send it. If not, you’re going to drive yourself crazy, and you don’t want that.
Texting him should be fun, not a stressful experience. [Read: What to text a guy to get his attention – 25 texting examples that work]
36. Read your texts out loud
The tone is very important when writing a text message, and since it’s a text, what you say can easily be misinterpreted.
So, before sending a text message, read it out loud and see how it sounds. If you’re not sure, add an emoji to make it clear what you’re trying to say.
37. If you don’t feel like texting, then don’t
Sometimes we push ourselves to text someone we like out of fear of them losing interest. When in reality, we just don’t feel like talking to anyone. And listen, that’s okay.
You can’t always be on a high. There will be some days when you just want to put your phone away and relax. Let him know that you want to sleep or watch Netflix and that you’ll text him later.
38. Make sure you like the topic
You don’t need to talk about hockey if you don’t like hockey. We know you may want to impress him, but you need to stay true to yourself. If you’re not interested in sports, asking him about baseball isn’t going to be of interest to you.
You don’t need to like everything he likes. Bring up a topic that you are interested in, and the conversation will flow smoothly. [Read: What to text a guy to get his attention – 25 examples that work like magic]
39. Talking about food is always a winner
You’d be surprised how much people love food. Most of us are foodies at heart. If you’re cooking something tasty or trying the latest food trend, bring it up with him via text.
You can even send a picture along with it. This may start a conversation about which restaurants you both love and who knows, maybe he’ll ask you to go to one of them with him.
40. Use memes
Sometimes all you need is a good meme. The internet has basically become one giant meme database, and it’s now your chance to use it to chat with the guy you like.
If you come across your favorite meme, send it to him and see his reaction. [Read: Ballsy but awesome ways to text a guy first and make the first move]
41. People love to talk about their pets
If he’s an animal lover, then he’ll talk to you about his dog or cat. And if you’re an animal lover, that’s even better!
So, ask him if he has any pets or would like to have a pet. If he loves dogs but doesn’t have one, maybe he can walk your dog with you sometime.
42. Follow up on something he told you
Maybe his mom is struggling with an illness, or his brother broke his arm. A good way to show you care is by checking on them and following up on what happened.
It also shows him that you’re supportive and you care. You don’t need to do this for everything, but for bigger events, you can. [Read: 30 caring ways to be a better girlfriend and make a man feel lucky to date you]
43. Remember, you can always talk on the phone
No one likes talking on the phone anymore, but it’s much more intimate than texting each other. It’s a bold move to make, but it cuts out a lot of waiting time. [Read: What guys look for in girls – things that always catches a guy’s eyes]
44. Cut out the games
We’ve been taught that playing games is the only way to get a guy to like us, but that’s not true. You shouldn’t have to play games to get a guy to like you. If he likes you for you, then no games need to be played. [Read: Why playing hard to get with a guy is pointless]
45. If you’re not into him, let him know
You may be texting with him and realize that he’s not really the one for you. That’s perfectly okay, you don’t need to fall in love with every guy you talk to. But a sign of maturity on your end is letting him know how you feel.
It’s hard to tell someone you’re not interested in them, but it’s kinder in the end. [Read: Why you shouldn’t ghost someone and the situations where it is okay]
What texting habits push guys away?
Any way you look at it, there will always be an issue between two people who don’t see eye to eye. Whether you’re a girl or a guy, your texting preference will change every now and again. But some things haven’t changed, like the texting habits that guys consider pet peeves.
To help you avoid common traps, these are some of the things to avoid. [Read: Sexy no-fail ways to text a guy a make him fall for you]
1. Boring text conversations
This is a red flag for guys because it means that there’s a chance this is the best type of conversation you can offer. Stop talking about the weather, and start discussing things that you are passionate about.
Don’t waste time texting about trivial things like what you ate, unless you’re really passionate about it.
2. Texting more than they do
Guys don’t like it when girls text too much. Take note that this is not about engaging in discussions about your likes and interests. Instead, guys are annoyed by too much texting when it’s about things that don’t matter – like the weather. [Read: Little texting mistakes new couples make often]
3. Not texting as much as they do
The same goes for when guys text you and you barely reply. They see this as a blow to their ego, and they take it as a sign that you’re not interested. It affects their self-esteem and pushes them away.
4. Responding with vague answers
When you keep sending strange emojis instead of a “yes” or “no” to a perfectly simple question, he might decide to text someone else who knows how to speak the human language. Guys just want a clear-cut answer to their questions and sentiments.
If they say you’re pretty, tell them thank you. If they ask you out, tell them when you’re free, or not. Don’t overcomplicate the simplicity of texting. [Read: Dry texting – what it is, 44 signs, and ways to avoid being a boring dry texter]
5. Ignoring their compliments
Another thing that guys hate is when you deflect their compliments or affectionate messages. They’re reaching out to you, which means that they’re okay with being vulnerable – even if it’s through texting.
When you ignore messages like those, they get bummed out and can even see it as a sign of insecurity on your end. [Read: 20 flirty texting facts to have a great love life]
6. Calling them out for typing something and not sending it
Have you ever seen those social-media parodies that show photos of a woman freaking out about the three little dots on the text screen? Yeah, don’t do that in real life. It makes you seem uptight and too discerning.
You’re staring at the screen, for crying out loud! Who wouldn’t get freaked out by your extreme attention to detail?
7. Complaining about being left on read
Aside from watching your partner type, you should probably refrain from putting too much importance on the seen receipt. Something could have come up, and the only time you’re allowed to call them out is at least 24 hours after your last text. [Read: Being left on read – what it really means when they don’t text back]
8. Frequently sending “accidental” messages
They know what you’re up to. Nobody is stupid enough to keep sending messages to the wrong number over and over again. They’re going to see it as a cry for attention, and nobody likes that sort of thing.
If you’re legitimately confused about who you’re sending your messages to, you better put a bunch of emojis on your date’s name, stat.
9. Forcing them to reply while they’re at work
Guys hate it when girls text them while they’re at work. It comes as too much of a distraction, and the only time it’s okay is if he’s not doing anything important, or if your message is urgent.
It seems as though most men think of work as a higher priority than texting. This is not because women aren’t as invested in their careers, but because most women are more patient. [Read: Things to talk about with a guy to keep him interested in the conversation]
10. Using one-word answers
If you thought guys were the only people guilty of this, think again. The numbers wouldn’t lie, and if guys say they hate it, it must mean that there are women who actually do it.
Most of the time, this happens when women are mad because they think it’s the right way to get their point across. Ladies, take heed of this advice because passive-aggressive jabs like these only make things worse.
11. Sloppy grammar
A lot of guys are turned off by really bad grammar. The most common mistakes they look at are wrong spelling and confusing contractions. That’s what autocorrect is for, right? Learn it, love it, use it. [Read: 20 flirty ways to text your crush and get them interested]
12. Using ALL CAPS
Using uppercase letters while texting is now connected with older people who just discovered cell phones and people who are shouting. Even if you don’t mean anything by it, using ALL CAPS can bother a guy, and for good reason.
Texting is the equivalent of an actual conversation nowadays. How can he read your message when he can’t hear it over your shouting? [Read: 30 super-sexy ways to keep a guy really interested in you all the time]
Don’t overthink, and remember your crush is just a person!
It’s very easy to get all worked up when you’re texting someone you like. It’s stressful and makes you panic when your phone doesn’t light up immediately after pressing ‘send!’
But remember this – he’s a guy, and that makes him a human being just like you. He shouldn’t be put on a pedestal.
See him as a person, and you’ll feel more relaxed when texting him. Then, you won’t come across as desperate or needy, you’ll just show your wonderful personality.
[Read: 50 perfect texts to make him think about you, miss you, and want you closer]
Learning how to text a guy you like isn’t hard when you share a connection. Don’t force a conversation to happen when there’s a lack of chemistry, and most importantly, be yourself!
