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What Causes Sexual Tension: What Exactly Does It Feel Like?

what causes sexual tension

You might not know why, but you know it when you feel it! But, exactly what causes sexual tension, and is it really obvious to everyone around you?

You know that feeling when you’re around someone and it’s almost like there’s static crackling in the air? You feel a little breathless. All of a sudden, your thoughts go somewhere else completely, and your face is a little bit flushed. Yep, that’s sexual tension. Have you ever wondered what causes sexual tension?

You might not know it yourself, but everyone around you can feel it almost instinctively. There’s a general tension, everyone is waiting with anticipation to see what happens next, but you might be totally oblivious to exactly what is going on.

The problem with sexual tension is that you might not be aware of why it’s happening and it can cause you to question everything you’re thinking and feeling. It can be confusing to suddenly be reacting in this way towards someone who you’re pretty sure you don’t actually like in “that way.”

The thing is, your brain might have already decided that you DO like them in “that way,” you’ve just not caught up with it yet!

[Read: 13 signs of sexual attraction you just can’t miss]

What causes sexual tension exactly?

So, what causes sexual tension to occur in the first place? Sexual tension is normally quite subconscious and not something you can usually control. Perhaps that’s what makes it so confusing and overwhelming!

Sexual tension normally happens between two people who have quite a close bond, yet there is a slightly flirtatious undertone. Both parties completely deny that there is anything going on between them or that they feel sexually attracted to one another, but everyone around them can tell differently. [Read: Infatuation signs you can’t miss – 15 signs you’re sick in love]

What causes sexual tension? Your brain! Basically, your brain decides that you’re sexually attracted to someone and that informs your responses, e.g. blushing, sweating, tripping up over your words, faster breathing, etc.

You don’t admit your feelings because you haven’t got that far yet, or you can’t believe that you’re attracted to them in that way – maybe you’ve been friends for a long time. This type of attraction is usually reciprocated and that’s what causes the tension to linger in the air.

[Read: What does sexual tension feel like? This is how it feels]

There are many other answers to the question of what causes sexual tension too; sometimes when you find someone quite frustrating, that can show itself sexually. It’s not unusual to actually dislike someone but find them overwhelmingly sexy at the same time. I know, it’s confusing, but who said the human brain was anything but?

Sexual tension can also come from something else entirely, e.g. you’re feeling a certain way in your life about your job, where you are generally, and it feels frustrating. Then, when you see someone on a regular basis, your general frustration turns into sexual tension. You can go through with it and see if the tension dissipates, but you’re probably not that aware of it.

Most of the time, people just allow it to continue, not understanding why they feel this way whenever the other person is around. Confused again? I know! Me too! [Read: How to handle your horniness when you feel sexual tension]

What does sexual tension feel like?

Obviously, sexual tension feels a little differently for everyone, because we’re all unique beings. You can’t give a blanket explanation. However, there are some common signs that most people feel.

– Butterflies in your stomach when they walk into the room or when you think about them

– Increased heart rate

– Flushing of the face and maybe even slight sweating

– Smiling for no reason

– Holding eye contact without realizing it

– Biting your lip

– You can’t get your words out properly

– Everything you say has a slightly sexual undertone [Read: How to get a girl horny and wet just by sitting next to her]

– Your mind goes into the gutter – you turn everything they say into some kind of innuendo in your own mind

– Heightened awareness of touch – it can feel like a bolt of lightning when they even brush against you by accident

– Leaning in towards them without realizing

– You gravitate towards each other almost naturally

– Your voice comes out a little deeper and a little breathier [Read: How to make a guy horny and hard while sitting next to him]

You might even notice that when you’re going about your daily business, they suddenly pop into your mind and some of the above signs show themselves. Some people even feel sexually aroused at the mere thought of someone they’re attracted to, whether they realize they are or not!

When you think about what causes sexual tension, it’s not surprising that it can all manifest in your subconscious mind, i.e. when you’re dreaming. These dreams are likely to be quite sexual, and you may wake up feeling flushed and wondering why on earth you were dreaming in that way about a person you don’t feel “that way” about! Of course, it turns out that you do, but as before, you haven’t quite got the email yet.

If it’s not about attraction and it’s about a general frustration, you might eventually question your feelings about this person. They might be clueless however, so you should tread carefully! [Read: How to flirt with your crush and make them fall hard]

So, does everyone else already know?

Sorry to say it, but yes, probably. If the two of you figure it out and you end up together, don’t be surprised if people roll their eyes and say “finally.” It’s obvious to everyone around you that there is sexual tension in the air. If you don’t get together, people might comment about how they always thought you would get together in the end.

What causes sexual tension to be so obvious to everyone else but you? It’s a vibe in many ways, but it’s also body language. Unless you’re extremely tuned into and aware of your body language, you’re probably speaking without knowing it.

[Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people]

For instance, we all know that you can basically give yourself away as a liar if your body language is screaming “I’m lying!” You hold your arms over your body defensively. You refuse to make eye contact, and you stumble over your words. These are all common signs of someone who is lying, and we do it without knowing about it.

As a result, your body language is screaming “I really want to get down and dirty with you,” and you have zero control over it. Everyone around you can see it and notice it clearly, but you don’t have a clue. [Read: How to know for sure if the sexual tension you feel is mutual]

Sometimes sexual tension strikes with the person we least expect. This person might not be your type at all, but perhaps that’s worth exploring. How do you know that the type you’ve always gone for is going to be the one that makes you happy?

Sure, sexual tension isn’t about love, but what’s to say that it won’t turn into love in the end? If you’re both open to it, perhaps it’s something worth exploring a little? [Read: How to know if someone is thinking of you sexually and desires you]

Of course, sexual tension can be fun too. That feeling of butterflies, the sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, it’s ultra-exciting! You might be confused as to why it’s happening, but go with it. Enjoy the feeling! It can often turn out to be a welcome distraction from the monotony of life, and we could all do with a little excitement in our lives, that’s for sure!

[Read: 14 steamy signs of sexual tension to know lust when you see it]

What causes sexual tension varies from person to person. Most often, it’s your brain jumping ahead of itself. It has chosen its next admirer and reacts in this sexually charged way until you admit it to yourself! 

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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