It’s nice to meet someone with whom you can just be friends, right? He shares your interests, he’s fun to be around, and you just have this chemistry that makes it so easy to be friends with each other. But could there be something more on his mind? What are the signs your friend wants to have sex with you?
All your other guy friends seem to only befriend you long enough to get you in bed with them. With him, things are different. He’s different. You think to yourself, “With a friend like him, who needs a boyfriend?”
Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but as the infamously wise Harry of “When Harry Met Sally” says, “Men and women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.”
It may not be today, and it may not be tonight. But somewhere along the way, the thought of you in bed will come creeping into his head, and he’ll like the idea so much that he’ll do everything to make it happen.
In fact, he may be trying to seduce you right now, and you’re just absolutely clueless about it. [Read: The guy best friend – Is he good or nothing but trouble for a girl?]
If you ever find yourself confused over a friend’s feelings for you, or if you think a guy friend may be interested in being more than friends with you, here are all the signs that can help you figure out if your friend really wants to have sex with you.
Has he been telling you that you can crash at his place anytime, and you may as well just have the keys to his place. In fact, you know where he keeps his spare keys, as he tells you, “Just in case.”
He says he’s concerned about your safety and he doesn’t want you to ever go home alone and in the middle of the night. He thinks it’s better if you spend the night at his place, but you should wonder if he would really just let you sleep on the couch. [Read: All the signs your guy BFF is secretly trying to seduce you]
Remember when you guys were hanging out at the mall and you passed by a lingerie store and he joked about how those lacey bras in the window would look good on you?
He may have said this jokingly, but the truth is, he definitely thinks about you in your lingerie.
You thought chivalry was dead, but your friend proves you wrong. He helps you out of the car, holds you at the small of your back to lead you through doors, kisses your cheeks when you see each other, and hugs you.
He’s too touchy-feely and when he hugs you, you feel him lingering and can’t help but wonder if he’s making out with you… using his arms. [Read: Romantic hug vs friendly hug – How to feel the difference instantly]
More specifically, your boobs. Or your butt. Or all of your curves.
The thing is, when you talk to him, you sometimes catch him looking at more than just your eyes or your face. You notice a slight glance at your face, but most of the time, he lustingly looks at your humps. This is a clear sign that your friend wants to have sex with you.
He asks you to hang out at night more than any other time. Since you’ve met him, you’ve been going out to dinner.
When you ask him to have lunch, instead, he tells you he’s unavailable or he convinces you to move it to dinner, so he has a better chance of sleeping with you. [Read: Unique and really effective moves your guy best friend may be using on you, to get you horny]
Yes, you are great drinking buddies, and he makes you feel like you can get drunk because, whatever happens, he’s got your back.
In fact, you never need to ask for another round, because he’s so eager to buy you one after the other, after the other so he can get you on your back! [Read: 10 sneaky techniques guys use to get into your pants]
You have mutual friends, but most of the time, you find yourself hanging out with only him. He calls you to ask if you want to meet “them” at your favorite watering hole, only to find him alone, after all. The bottom line is: he does everything to get you to hang out with him alone.
He always tells you, “There’s this movie you just gotta watch.” He knows you like noir movies, especially the weird and often morbid French ones, and he indulges you because he says he likes them too. Fat chance.
He just wants you to watch movies at his place to maximize hook-up possibilities, even if it means he has to sit through the queasiness of watching gross, brutal things with you. [Read: What does friends with benefits mean to a guy? Do guys get hooked?]
You know he’s not gay, and from the way he smirks at fashion magazines and preppy-looking men with their man-buns, you know he isn’t the least bit interested in fashion.
However, when it comes to the clothes you wear, he remembers them all. He knows the LBDs that look great on you, the ones that most definitely hug your curves, and he isn’t shy about letting you know it.
Another one of the signs your friend wants to have sex with you is that he is updated about your love life—and your sex life. After all, he’s a great listener.
He listens to you whine endlessly about your dates, and he gives great advice… until he asks about how things are going in the bedroom, which you obliviously tell him, too, because he’s like your BFF anyway.
Now that he knows about your sex life, he tells you about his sex life, as well—to the point that he sounds braggy about it.
He tells you how he is in the sack and how women respond to him with multiple orgasms all night long. Does he want to impress you, or even turn you on? Most likely. [Read: 33 sexy ways to seduce a guy who’s not yet yours and hook him hard]
You know him as the jokester in your group of friends, so when he starts to jokingly tell you to hook up with him, you laugh it off.
When he kids you about how great you’d look in his sheets, you playfully punch him in the face. Often, he goes too far, but you let it slide because you secretly enjoy the attention.
Aside from slips of the tongue, he also “accidentally” sends you sexts. Who does that? Well, if it’s once or twice, it’s barely acceptable.
However, his accidental sex-laced messages to what he claims is “this woman he’s seeing” are getting more and more frequent, and he doesn’t even apologize about it.
If your friend wants to have sex with you, then he’s probably acting like your wingman, but he is actually just wanting to know what kind of guy you like or find hot.
He sees those guys at the bar you say you like, and in his mind, he’s comparing himself to them, thinking he’s waaay better.
When you ask him if he’s seeing anyone, he says he is. However, he’s always with you and, albeit rarely, with your friends.
He keeps updating you about his whereabouts, so you wonder if that mystery girl really does exist. Most likely, he’s just waiting for you to notice him. [Read: 20 unmistakable signs your friend is crushing on you]
When your friends tell you that something’s not right, you’d better listen to them. You may be totally oblivious to your guy friend’s attempts to get you to have sex with him, but when everyone else can see it, you better look more closely.
Besides, your mutual friends know both of you well. If your friend wants to have sex with you, he might have mentioned it to one of them, and news may have traveled.
For all you know, he is your best guy friend, and if you had things your way, you’d want him to be part of your life platonically, with absolutely no sex involved. [Read: How to stop a guy friend from hitting on you or flirting with you]
Many people like porn, but does your friend talk about it with you? If he does, that might be a sign that he has been connecting you and sex together in his mind.
He might even make comments about the porn movies he has seen or asked you what you’ve watched. And if he has ever suggested watching a racy movie together, then that is a pretty good sign that your friend wants to have sex with you. [Read: 29 movies with a lot of sex that’ll get anyone in the mood instantly]
Teasing is a safe way for people to tell you the truth, but they’re to scared to do it. Your friend might say things like, “I bet you are a nymphomanic, aren’t you?” Or “Yeah, yeah, I know you’re big into S&M!”
Making sexual teases is a way to help bring up the topic of sex in our mind when you are around them. [Read: How to ask a guy to be friends with benefits – 15 ways to do it right]
If your friend brings up scenarios like, “What if neither of us is married by the time we’re 40, then we get married?” Or, “What would we do if we both got drunk one night and accidentally slept together?”
Asking those questions is a way to indirectly ask you what you think about having sex with him. They probably do that to see what kind of reaction you give. He probably wants a positive one! [Read: 40 dirty and sexy would you rather questions to make anyone horny within a couple of questions]
This is a more direct way to bring up having sex with you. He might indirectly bring up the topic of, “What do you think of friends with benefits? Do you think it ruins a friendship?” Or, he could be more direct and just ask you if you want to become friends with benefits.
Either way, if he does this, he is telling you that he wants to have sex with you, but not necessarily have a committed relationship.
However, reading the signs above and finding yourself ticking off each item as it applies to you, you know that he may just be around to get laid. Thinking about this can be enough to drive you crazy, especially because you both have a great friendship going and you wouldn’t want to ruin it by sleeping with each other. [Read: How to be just friends with a guy when he wants more]
Although the signs above are a great start, the only way you can find out for sure if your friend really does want to have sex with you is to ask him. If he’s really your friend, he won’t be offended and he’ll tell you, “No, I’m not trying to have sex with you, you little cray-cray.”
You might be totally hot for your friend and be willing to jump into bed with them immediately. But before you do, you should think about the consequences.
First of all, how good of a friend is it? Is this someone you’ve known since kindergarten, or is it someone you just met a few months ago?
If it’s a long-time friend, you might want to think twice about it. It could either be disastrous or it could lead to a long-term relationship *if you guys have secret feelings for each other*. [Read: How does being best friends with benefits really work out?]
You don’t want to ruin a best friend type relationship by sleeping together. The reason for this is because more often than not, at least one person will develop feelings for the other. It’s great if both of you do – or if neither of you does – but usually, it can lead to a sticky situation.
You need to ask yourself if you are mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with the consequences of sleeping with your friend. If things don’t go well, how will you cope with it? What will it do to your friendship? [Read: How to start friends with benefits relationship]
On the other hand, if you don’t know each other that well, maybe the friends with benefits situation could work pretty well for both of you.
You won’t be as emotionally attached to them, which makes having sex-without-feelings a lot easier to deal with.
But with that said, you still run the risk of one of you becoming too attached. Just because you don’t know each other that well yet, having sex could definitely strengthen your bond. But you have to continually make sure that you both are on the same page.
[Read: The step-by-step guide to getting your friend to sleep with you]
Now that you know the signs that your friend wants to have sex with you, then you can see it straight after you ask them. By then, the ball is in your court and you can go from there.
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