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25 Ways to Avoid the Friend Zone & Build Sexual Tension from the Start

You have a major crush on a girl, and you want to know how to avoid the friend zone. Don’t worry, we have all the answers you need right here.

how to avoid the friend zone

Being friends with a girl you like is a tricky place to fall in, and you want to know how to avoid the friend zone. You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.

Ever been there?

Hopefully, you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.

It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.

You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.

What is a friend zone?

A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.

For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.

In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest toward each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.

But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook. [Read: 25 things about a guy that sexually turns on a girl]

How do guys end up falling into the friend zone?

A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind. But now you want to know how to avoid the friend zone.

And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.

So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.

1. They get too close

Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.

2. No sexual chemistry

If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry.

3. The girl’s not attracted to the guy

This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying, or just not good enough to be her boyfriend. [Read: 25 biggest dating turn offs for girls]

4. The guy thinks she’s too good for him

At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her but gives up on pursuing her.

Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?

5. He plays the true friend card

It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend.

How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

1. Be a friend without behaving like her other friends

Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. If you want to avoid the friend zone with a girl, talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air. [Read: Things to date talk about with a girl]

2. Try to talk to her when she’s alone

If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.

But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends comes by, grumble audibly in a funny manner, and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking. [Read: Clever ways to charm a girl and make her like you]

But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.

3. Compliment her when she deserves it

Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell her you couldn’t resist it.

Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone. [Read: How to compliment a girl sexually and make her blush]

4. Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend

But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention.

But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.

5. Make her feel special and exclusive

Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret.

When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance. This is a great way to avoid the friend zone. [Read: 20 ways to build sexual tension with a girl you like]

6. Ask her out and change the topic

When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or coffee. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer.

It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else.

Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

7. Pay for things when you hang out

When two people are just friends, they tend to pay for themselves when they go out and do things together.

But when you’re dating or in a relationship, it’s not uncommon for the guy to pay for things. So, if you want to avoid the friend zone with a girl, start trying to pay for her when you’re out, maybe she’ll see you in a more romantic way.

8. Don’t be needy

There’s nothing more unattractive than a needy guy. Girls don’t want a guy who is too needy and wants to talk to and be with her 24/7. She wants you to have your own life outside of her.

So, don’t smother her, and make sure you have other things going on in your life. [Read: How to stop being needy – why people get clingy and 32 ways to fix it]

9. Have self-confidence

Self-confidence is incredibly attractive to girls. Even if a guy isn’t objectively very handsome, if he acts like it, then that is a huge thing that girls like. So, speak to her as if you truly believe she is lucky to spend time with you. Just don’t do it in a cocky way.

10. Dress well and smell good

Let’s face it – girls don’t like guys who are slobs. So, if you wear some nice clothes and come cologne, that will definitely get her attention. Cologne has pheromones in it, which is a turn-on for girls. Clean yourself up and look and smell your best.

11. Be unpredictable

Okay, this is a tricky one if you’re trying to avoid the friend zone, but it works. Some girls don’t like unpredictability because it makes you look flaky. But other girls – the ones that like the bad boys – tend to like it.

So, don’t be so reliable. You can cancel plans with her sometimes and leave her hanging on text or anything else. After all, you’re just her friend and not obligated to plans with her alone, at least not until she’s your girlfriend!

12. Do cute things for her

If you see something at a store that you think she’d really like, then buy it for her. Send a pizza over to her house if she says she’s hungry when you’re texting. Do cute, out-of-the-blue things that will bring a smile to her face. [Read: 50 cute things guys do that girls find very sexy and absolutely adore]

13. Be mysterious

If you are an open book, she might find you boring. So, you don’t have to tell her every little detail of your life if you want to appear mysterious, interesting, and most importantly, avoid the friend zone.

If she asks what you’re doing on a Friday night, you can say that you “have plans” and leave it at that. It will drive her crazy trying to figure out what those plans are.

14. Don’t act jealous

Sure, you are probably very jealous of all the other guys she is talking to – or even dating. But you don’t want to let her know that you feel that way.

While it’s cute, some girls also find it annoying. And you don’t want to look too over-eager with your feelings for her.

15. Be assertive

Girls don’t like wimpy guys. Instead, they prefer a guy who likes to take charge in life. So, if you’re at a restaurant, you should be the first to go up and talk to the hostess.

If you want to avoid the friend zone with a girl and appear desirable, you should be the one to plan things for you to do with her. Take the lead. Girls like that a lot. [Read: How to be assertive – 17 ways to speak your mind loud and clear]

16. Play hard to get 

You might wonder how you can play hard to get when you’re not even dating her. Well, pretend like you don’t like her that much.

You can even do the whole “blowing hot and cold” thing. This will make her wonder why you’re not putting yourself out there with her more. Act like you’re not overly interested in her.

17. Don’t be too available

Sure, you want to jump at any chance to text, call, or hang out with her. But you don’t want her to know that, not if you want to avoid the friend zone and make her miss you!

If you immediately answer her texts are never have any plans outside of your friendship with her, then that’s unattractive. She’ll either think that you have no life or that you are too willing to clear her schedule for her every time.

18. Talk about other girls

And by talking about other girls, we mean talking about how attractive they are. When you talk about other girls, she might get jealous.

Even if she thought you had feelings for her, she’ll wonder if you changed your mind. That will make her wonder about her feelings for you – in a good way. [Read: How to make a girl jealous and leave her craving for your attention]

19. Don’t be a doormat

When you like a girl, you want to make her happy. That’s not a bad thing, but don’t let it go too far. You don’t want to act like her slave and go get her coffee every morning or come to her rescue anytime she needs something.

20. Date other girls

This might sound counterintuitive in avoiding a girl’s friend zone, but you should also date other girls. The funny thing about girls is that if they know that another girl wants you, suddenly you become much more attractive to her.

It’s sort of like reverse psychology. So, try to find other girls to go out with and see how fast she comes running after you!

[Read: How to text a friend at the right time and make her fall for you]

Wondering how to avoid the friend zone? Just understand these pointers and use these tips. You’ll never fall into the friend zone with any girl ever again!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
A proponent of chivalry and romance, Vin Serai sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time living in...