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How to Avoid the Friend Zone and Make Her Desire You

friend zone

Afraid you’ll end up being just a friend with the girl you like? Use these tips on how to avoid the friend zone if you want to get into her pants.

The friend zone is a tricky place to fall in.

You may be trying hard to get close to a girl, close enough to tell her that you like her, but one fine day she turns around and tells you that you’re such a great friend, or worse, you’re just like a brother to her.

Ever been there?

I hope you haven’t.

Guys find themselves falling into the friend zone almost all the time.

It’s frustrating and demeaning, and at times, inevitable.

You may get really close to a girl with all the hopes of getting into her pants, but somewhere along the way, you may have taken a few detours that led you right into the friend zone.

[Read: How to tell a girl you love her without losing her]

What is a friend zone?

A friend zone is a happy place for a girl. It’s a place where she and a guy can sit together and talk about anything and get real friendly with each other.

For a guy, a friend zone is the worst place to be in, especially when he likes the girl who behaves like a friend.

In a friend zone, the two involved friends of the opposite sex are just friends and nothing more. They project no sexual interest towards each other and behave in a completely platonic manner.

But can any guy ever be friends with a girl he finds sexually attractive? Or course not. He can try to be a friend with the hope of getting an occasional cuddle or a warm boob pressing hug now and then, but he’s always going to be just be a friend while she dates every other guy in the yearbook. [Read: 25 things about a guy that sexually turns on a girl]

How do guys end up falling into the friend zone?

A guy falls into a friend zone for very obvious reasons. He behaves like a friend. And he never lets the girl know that he has more than friendly intentions on his mind.

And soon enough, the girl loses all realization of the fact that this guy has a package down there. And he just becomes another sexless thing she hangs out with all the time as a platonic friend.

So why do some guys end up as friends instead of boyfriends or sex buddies? Here’s why.

#1 They get too close. Getting too close to a girl on platonic grounds will never help you. You may assume that it’s the easiest way to get a girl to know you better. She’ll definitely get to know you better, but only as a friend.

#2 No sexual chemistry. If a guy likes a girl, he has to make it subtly obvious that he’s sexually interested in her. If a guy behaves like a pushover and a doormat, no girl will feel even a tingle of sexual chemistry.

#3 The girl’s not attracted to the guy. This sucks, but this is the most common scenario. The guy’s probably creepy, annoying or just not good enough to be her boyfriend. [Read: 10 biggest dating turn offs for girls]

#4 The guy thinks she’s too good for him. At times, a guy may genuinely believe that the girl he likes is way too good for him. And instead of hitting on her, he secretly lusts for her, but gives up on pursuing her. Could you ever live with yourself by just being the friend of a sexy girl who dates every other guy but you?

#5 He plays the true friend card. It works in the movies all the time. The girl has a best friend who’s always there for her. She goes ahead and dates every single guy in the world, and finally, at the end of the movie she sees her true love in the form of her best friend. How touching! And that’s why they call it the movies. In real life, you can’t become a girl’s boyfriend just by behaving like a best friend.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone

It’s really easy to avoid the friend zone. All you need to do is drop a few hints now and then to let her know that you’re really into her. Use these easy tips to get the message across and get her to desire you while you’re at it.

#1 Be a friend without behaving like her other friends. Don’t talk nonsense for hours or spend time talking about her problems in life. Talk about places she visits, movies she’s watched, and her plans for the weekend. Talk date talk and she’ll sense the chemistry in the air. [Read: Things to date talk about with a girl]

#2 Try to talk to her when she’s alone. If her other friends are around, talk to her if you must or just avoid her. You can’t really hit on a girl when she’s surrounded by a bevy of friends.

But when you find her alone, make sure you turn on your charm and impress her. See her alone? Chat her up. And if one of her friends come by, grumble audibly in a funny manner and say something like “just when I thought I was going to get some alone time with you, this guy pops up out of nowhere!” and just laugh. She’ll be confused and wonder if you’re being serious or just joking. [Read: Clever ways to charm a girl and make her like you]

But she’ll get the hint that you like spending time with her alone. Make it obvious that you like spending time with her in whatever way possible, but don’t ask her out or tell her you like her just yet.

#3 Compliment her when she deserves it. Flatter her pants off. If she looks good, tell her she looks hot. If you see a hint of cleavage and she catches you staring, just laugh, apologize and tell it you couldn’t resist it. Add a few funny sexual remarks and you’ll never get into the friend zone. [Read: How to compliment a girl sexually and make her blush]

#4 Touch her and treat her like your girlfriend. But do it respectfully though. Clasp her hand while crossing the street and open doors for her when it’s just the both of you. Make her feel like a queen, and she’ll love the attention. But when her friends are around, don’t give her any preferential treatment. Let her realize that you’re special to her only when it’s just the two of you.

#5 Make her feel special and exclusive. Gift her something small and personal, but tell her to keep it a secret. When you create secrets, you build sexual chemistry and suspense which leads to romance. [Read: 10 ways to build sexual tension with a girl you like]

#6 Ask her out and change the topic. When you’re talking to her for a while, ask her out for lunch or coffee. See how she responds. But within a second, change the topic. Don’t wait for her to answer. It’ll seem like a joke, but it’ll still make her wonder if you really do want to date her. Don’t make things awkward by waiting a while before saying something else. Keep it simple, keep it funny and yet reveal all the dirty thoughts in your mind, and change the topic immediately.

[Read: How to text a friend at the right time and make her fall for you]

Wondering how to avoid the friend zone? Just understand these pointers and use these tips. You’ll never fall into the friend zone with any girl ever again!

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Vin Serai
Vin Serai
A proponent of chivalry and romance, Vin Serai sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time living in...

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22 thoughts on “How to Avoid the Friend Zone and Make Her Desire You”

  1. pierce says:

    And what to do if i’am already in the friend zone for along time?
    in my case, i meet a girl when i was in highschool and we become friends. After a year i began to have a crush on her, but i was to proud and shy to tell her. 3 4 years have pass, and we are still friends, but i still have a special feeling for her. So after this many years i want to take a shot and i dont want this girl to become the one who had escaped, but in dont no how to start.

    ps. in that period of time, me and her had affairs with other people.

  2. Emmy Brainy.. says:

    Seriously I won’t lie to my self…but am in the friends zone with a girl I really do find attractive…we don’t see each other that frequently….
    what should I do.?..please send your answers to my email please..thanks

  3. Marie Love says:

    No offense guys, but as a girl myself, I can tell you that some girls just won’t ever want you in their pants. It doesn’t matter what you do. Personally if a guy was doing some of these things to me, I would think they were stupid and not talk to them. I think respect is sexy. I was friends with this guy who told me he liked me and I asked him to give me some time. We became very close and I’m proud to say that he is my best friend. The way he respected my wishes and was happy to get to know me as a person is what made me fall in love with him. I think he’s the hottest, nicest guy and I really do want him a lot! I wouldn’t have looked twice though if he would’ve tried to force something to escape the friend zone.

  4. Help me says:

    I have been in the friendzone for a long time now. Actually I was a good friend of her’s for a long time and I did not think of her as a girlfriend before. But still I used to think about her happiness and care for her a lot before. Just recently I figured that I love her. But the very sad thing is that the girl that I have a crush on has found a boyfriend. We have been like best friends for a long time. But we don’t quite get to meet up so often after we graduated. I have helped her get along with her boyfriend a lot of times but it was just for her happiness. I feel a bit sad when she pops out conversations about him at times and I sometimes feel pretty jealous of that guy when I miss her. Because I think that she would only miss that boyfriend of hers. Is there anyway I can get her to like me as a boyfriend rather than “just a friend” and let go of that guy. I think that it is possible cause I don’t think that he has better looks than mine. :-

  5. matt vaughan says:

    ive got a friend a yr above me and weve been stuck in the friend zone for 2 months, i asked her out about a month ago but she said no, is it possible to change her thoughts around?

  6. An Indian says:

    I am a kind cute caring and all the emotional things a girl wants to be in a guy as seen in movies but as in my case everytime i gets close to a girl …. she calls me her best friend bff or you can better say friendzoned and i am 19 and i hadn`t even kissed a girl till today ….. I seems to have lost all hopes of getting a gf .Even my friends make fun u can`t get a girl u will only get a girl in an arranged marriage and i am just pissed off by my situation .. Why can`t they see …..

  7. bleh says:

    Its easy just treat her differently.

  8. Adrian says:

    For the first section “#4 The guy thinks she

  9. jason rament says:

    I got stuck into the friend zone after just one day of being her boyfriend. what a plonker i feel like an idiot, i tell her how hot i think she is in my eyes even though she has had many ex’s and children. i just wanted to be more like sex buddies but nope im friend zoned it makes me sick. Women act so complicated when they are no better than us. I now think how lucky i’ve been in escaping the endless please can i haves and could you help me do this 20 times every day and she gave me no care in her world not even how was your day. ? Can i change her just so i don’t have to have her as this friend i could handle seeing her as a sex partner open relationship she says she think im hot, where am i going wrong, is she using me to make her x jealous

  10. Dunsen says:

    As I keep saying,you need to do just two things : BE AS ATTRACTIVE AS YOU CAN AND FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT !

  11. Sorry guys :( says:

    As a female, I can say that if you drops hints that you like her, she will notice, and you have to give her time to see if some reciprocated romantic interest, if those feelings don’t develope, dropping more hints won’t do any good.
    Secondly, females (if they aren’t a bitch, some are, a lot aren’t) won’t veiw a.guy in friendzone as a demeaning position to be in. Friendships mean so much to females, especially if she does see you as a brother. That in itself means a hell of a lot. And you obviously mean a lot to her, just not in a romantic way. That is incredibly frustrating for you, I realise, and from experience, I know. Sorry this probably wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

  12. afua says:

    As a GIRL all I can say is BE BOLD, ask her out on a DATE. You need to take a chance and ask do something outside of friendship. If you don’t make your intentions clear in that respect someone else will. Getting mad because “she can’t see can’t see what a good guy you are” is pointless. Lots of good guys she can’t date them all, be THE one.

  13. Tazz says:

    Well I am in the friend-zone and I honestly did most of the things you said to do to avoid the friend-zone. So that means that she’s just not interested in me or I didn’t do them right, but to be honest I did my best since I’m not that great at flirting. I actually hate flirting now because it took me a long time and now all I got is a friendly pat on my shoulder. I don’t know what she’d want more but she obviously was brainwashed by the Disney perfect love stories when she was a kid.

  14. Jack Fakelastname says:

    I met this girl online about a month ago and we have been talking every day since then. I have gotten to know her and she has gotten to know me a lot. She has sent me pictures of herself and at first I thought that we would be very good friends but after a while I Began to fall in love with her. She has a boyfriend but she doesn’t think it will last long and I told her once that I liked her and I’d do anything to be with her and she told me that she just wanted to get to know me better. And we’ve been talking a lot and we have shared secrets and stories and I really like her a lot. I don’t know if she feels the same about me. If anyone could help me out that would be really great i’m not that good when it comes to girls but I have a great sense of humor so I’ve been told.

  15. Sebastian says:

    It’s really not that hard, just flirt with her when you’re getting to know each other and don’t treat her like a bestie. She needs to know right from the start that you’re not ‘just a buddy’. (just please don’t be an ass about it)

    And if you’re already in the friend zone with a cute girl, guess what? You’re not getting out of it…ever. That’s not how woman work, they’re not dudes. Just remember the lessons you learned and move on.

  16. adam says:

    I have been in the friend zone for over a year and I even tell her that I love her very much, but she pokes me every time and says that she respects our friendship more. At times, I tried to leave her but she says that she can never get a friend like me n she ruins everything! What do I do? Please suggest something.

  17. Sorrynotsorry says:

    no such thing as the friend zone… sorry doods… girls see you and are attracted to you and want more or they don’t. They might like you as a person but they wont go out of their way to do anything with you or talk to you unless they are actually attracted to you and want something to happen. Unless its one of those girls that suck and just want every guys attention, which still isnt the friendzone.. its just something to satisfy her own insecurities. Just ask the girl out if you like her, and you will find out instantly if you had a chance ever. Girls like action so take it. Even if she was attracted to you at first, if you dont act they will think you are not interested and as you are being sad and wondering if she even likes you she is going to lose attraction and when you have the nerve to ask she will have moved on.

  18. #00 says:

    U gotta get nasty with her from the jump tell her something freaky like you would lick & kiss her sexy body from head to toe some girls really fall for the asshole approach everyone respects the bold no one honors the timid

  19. John D. says:

    I assure you, it’s nowhere NEAR that simple.

    Ask me how I know.

  20. wanthaha says:

    I agree with you! but if we to scared to take a risk! it will be surely ended as a friends! just make friends with her, and make her comfortable! and then, boom disapears! for sure they will beg for mercy! and they will crave and trying to get near us! huahahhahaa! or tell her, you want me or not! if not I will leave as soon as possible and find another girls! πŸ˜‰ it can works, if we build good relationship! just like selling some product, we give free trial, if you don’t like it, please unsubscribe! if not then PAY!!!! for GOD SAKE! and tell her, I don’t like cheapskate! πŸ˜‰ if you know what I mean!

  21. Poot says:

    I don’t know much but what i do know is that you should just keep trying. Make it somewhat obvious you want to be in a relationship and if you feel that you may have a shot with somebody find a way

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