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Friendly vs Flirty: 34 Subtle Flirting Signs to Tell If Someone is Flirting With You

Flirting signs can be subtle or obvious, which doesn’t it easy to tell if someone is flirting with you! You just need to know the signs. 

flirting signs - how to tell if someone is flirting with you

Sometimes the line between flirting and friendliness can be blurry. If you want to avoid an awkward misunderstanding, it’s vital that you know the signs someone is flirting with you rather than just being a friendly soul! After all, some flirting signs can be difficult to interpret!

Every person on this planet of ours is different. Everyone flirts in a slightly different way.

One person might find they automatically blush when you walk into the room. Another person might act completely off-hand, while feeling anything but that inside. That’s what can make it quite difficult to work out their intentions.

But, by knowing the differences between flirty and friendly behavior, and with a little careful detective work, you’ll be able to work out those flirting signs easily enough. [Read: These are the most common flirting signs to go unnoticed]

Why do people need to flirt?

You flirt when you like someone or when you want someone in particular to notice you. It’s how you get their attention in a very subtle manner. 

When you flirt, it’s the first step to taking action for your feelings rather than doing the hard part – confessing.

Flirting feels natural and easy, which is why most of us don’t even know that we’re already doing it. 

Basically, you’re flirting with someone to let them know in a subtle manner that you’re interested in being more than friends, with the hopes that they feel the same way. After all, actions speak louder than words, right? [Read: How to flirt with a friend – 18 ways to tease them without being weird]

Do women and men view flirting differently?

Oh, hell yes! Most men will take flirting as a sign that the person is super-interested in them, while a lot of women will question it and wonder whether they’re reading the signs wrong.

So, you can imagine how a lot of misunderstandings happen. If friendliness and flirting can often be mistaken for one another, that means a lot of men might think you’re into them when you’re not, and a lot of women will be super confused!

The good news is – when you’re au fait with the flirting signs, you can easily understand how to tell if someone is flirting with you. [Read: The 12 rules of attraction as explained by science]

How to tell if someone is flirting with you or just being friendly

It can be incredibly difficult to tell the difference between friendly and flirty when someone is just a genuinely nice person. We’re going to make it easy for you to tell if someone is sending flirting signs your way.

1. Do they only act this way with you?

If this person only compliments you, or is extra nice to only you, then consider that they are being flirty with you.

If they are nice to everybody, then either they are incredibly flirty with anything and everything (which is possible), or they are interested in you. [Read: How to know if your friend likes you more than they let on]

2. How do they respond when you flirt?

Try flirting with them. See how they respond to your flirting! If they SEEM interested in you, then chances are they really ARE interested in you. Don’t doubt it. But if they seem turned off by your flirting or appear uncomfortable, then they were just being friendly… oops.

3. Are they acting on their “friendliness”?

The best way to figure out how to tell if someone is flirting with you is by the actions they take.

Are they trying to get physically close to you, or perhaps touching your shoulder/hand when chatting with you? This is a huge sign of flirtation. If they aren’t coming close to you, they might just be friendly. [Read: Romantic hug vs friendly hug – How to feel the difference instantly]

4. Eye contact is key

We don’t know about you, but when we’re TRYING to flirt with someone, we make sure to make eye contact with them. If they make a point of making eye contact with you when you’re around and even when you’re far away from them, then they’re flirting with you and not just being friendly.

5. They want to know more about you

They aren’t just going to tell you that you’ve got cool tattoos, they ask about the story behind them. In this case, they want to know more about you and your life – and not just the surface stuff.

If they ask deep questions and try to spend time with you, they are flirting with you. [Read: How to be more playful and flirty when you meet someone]

6. They make it clear that they’re single

They make a point to mention that they aren’t tied down. Whether they just come right out and say it, or they casually mention it, they want you to know that they are single and available.

Why? DUH – because they are interested in you! They are flirting and not just being friendly!

7. They make a point to give you all their attention

How much attention do you need? ALL OF IT!

Seriously though, if they are flirting with you, they will make a point of paying very close attention to you. They will make you feel special. Perhaps they take you to a more private location because they really want to focus on what you have to say, without distractions. [Read: How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself]

8. Teasing

Just like when we were in grade school, if somebody makes fun of you, it sometimes means they are into you. At least to some degree—if they are playfully teasing you, then this is a pretty big indicator that they are flirting with you, not just friendly.

How to tell if someone is flirting with you and not just being friendly? They tease up a storm! [Read: How to start flirting with a friend – 18 ways to tease them without being weird]

9. Are they showing continuous interest?

If they actively seek you out at a party or ask mutual friends about you, then chances are they are interested in you, and they are being flirty.

Maybe they saw you at a party and you chatted all night, but you left wondering if they were flirting with you or if they were just being nice. Well, if they ask their friend about you after the party, then they were flirting. Surprise!

10. Asking you to hangout

Obviously, friends hang out, right? But here’s the thing. If they start a conversation with you just to invite you out, then they might really be flirting with you. This is one of the key ways to tell if someone is flirting with you.

It also depends on the context of the hangout. Is this a huge party, or is this a one-on-one date? If they want to spend time with you in an intimate setting, then, HELLO, they are flirting with you. [Read: Is it a date or are you just hanging out? 22 subtle clues to tell the difference]

11. Flirty vs friendly via text

Emojis are a key indicator in determining the difference between people who are being friendly vs flirty. Are they sending you lots of emojis?

This is probably a big indicator of being flirty, because it means they are putting MORE into your conversation than just the surface level of engagement. [Read: How to flirt over text and type your way into someone’s heart]

12. They glance your way often

When they’re not making eye contact, you might find someone glances your way often.

You’re always catching their eye. They might look away shyly, like they’ve been caught in the act. This is one of the main signs someone is flirting with you – and not just being friendly!

13. They fidget when they’re around you

Are they always nervous or fidgety around you? It could be because they’re crushing hard! Look out for them playing with their clothes or hair.

Perhaps they’re tugging on their sleeve or messing with their earrings. This is a sign of the nervousness we tend to show when we’re around people we like in a romantic way. [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]

14. They bite or lick their lips

The lips are considered to be quite sexual. So, if someone is drawing attention to them when they’re around you, it’s probably because they’re flirting!

So, look out for licking of the lips, usually accompanied by eye contact or lip-biting in a nervous or fidgety way. If this is happening, it’s one of the signs someone is flirting with you. [Read: Lip biting – What makes it so hot and secrets to make it way sexier]

15. They give you regular compliments

This could go either way. Someone who is flirting will either give you regular compliments or tease you and give occasional compliments. If they’re regularly complimenting you, it means they want you to know how great they think you are.

If you want to know how to tell if someone is flirting with you, check how many complimentary things they say about you over a short period of time.

16. They make excuses to touch you lightly

Gentle nudges, playful punches on the arm, slight stroking of the arm – these are all flirtation signs. If someone is doing this to you, possibly even without realizing it, it’s probably because they have feelings or urges that aren’t simply platonic! [Read: 15 obvious flirting signs between a guy and a girl]

17. Their body language is open

We’ve already mentioned that whether someone is flirting with you is often clear in their non-verbal cues, but look for this: is their body language open?

If you’re around someone you don’t like, you show closed body language. This means your body language is defensive.

If someone is mirroring your standing or sitting position, and their general stance is open and relaxed, it’s possible that they feel comfortable (and flirty) around you. Along with the other points on the list, this is a major sign someone is flirting with you. [Read: Body language & attraction – How it works, all the signs, and how to recognize it]

18. There is a visible reaction when they see you

Think back to times in the past when you’ve crushed hard on someone and they walked into the room. You probably reacted without even realizing it.

Maybe your breath caught for a second; you blushed, you smiled, or your eyebrows shot up to your hairline. Look for small reactions whenever you walk into a room if you suspect someone is flirting. [Read: 26 signs a friend likes you romantically even if they’re hiding it]

19. They’re usually the first to like your social media posts

These days, flirtation isn’t just in person; some of it is done via social media.

If there is one particular person who always likes your posts, or someone who always likes them before anyone else, it’s possible they’re watching you out of admiration. Their attention is a form of digital flirtation, and it’s one of the best ways to know how to tell if someone is flirting with you. [Read: 9 signs that scream Instagram flirting and seduction]

20. They play with their hair

Hair playing is a major sign of flirtation, especially when seen alongside smiles, eye contact, and other types of fidgeting.

If someone plays with their hair, perhaps wrapping it around their finger when talking to you, it’s because they’re flirting with you! [Read: 15 subtle clues to know if your crush likes you back]

21. Their demeanour changes when you’re around

You might not have the inside knowledge on this one, but if your friends tell you they know someone well and they act differently around you, it’s a sign.

Maybe they act funnier, smarter, or more confident when you’re around. It’s something we all do automatically when someone we like is in the same room as us.

22. A lot of touching

Touching each other a lot mid-conversation is one of the sure-fire flirting signs, especially if the touches are unnecessary. This is why when someone is touching you more than usual – they’re either comfortable with you or flirting with you.

Most of the time, it’s the latter! [Read: How to flirt by touch without making it obvious at all]

23. Entering into your personal zone

If someone is trying to get close to you every way they can, it might be a flirting sign. If your friend tries to come really close to you to whisper something that doesn’t need to be hushed, or if their hands reach out towards you often, it’s obvious they want to get close to you, fast!

Being close to someone physically, even when it’s unnecessary, means they’re trying to get closer to you romantically. [Read: 20 signs she’s flirting with you even if she’s trying to be very subtle]

24. Their eyes sparkle

One of the biggest flirting signs you can notice in a conversation is the widening of the eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul for a reason, so if you notice their wide eyes sparkling attentively whenever they talk to you or even about you, they’re flirting with you.

Research has shown that attraction causes your pupils to dilate. You might find their eyes filled with life and emotion whenever you’re talking to them. [Read: Eye f*cking and the subtle art of making them desire you]

25. Constant smiling and giggling

If your date can’t help but continuously flash a big grin while talking to you, there’s definitely a flirty feeling in the air. When you’re attracted to someone, you’ll do anything in your capability to make them smile. And you’ll have a hard time holding that grin back yourself as well.

You may not be very funny, but if the person you’re talking to beams, blushes, and laughs while talking to you, they’re probably flirting with you!

26. Avoiding all external distractions quickly

If this guy or girl you’re talking to receives a call when you’re casually talking to them, do they excuse themselves for a while, or do they try to end the phone call ASAP?

One of the flirting signs you’ll see is when their complete and utter attention is on you. This means they don’t even bother checking their phone, and all they want to focus on is you. [Read: How to be more playful and flirty and open up when you meet someone]

27. Constantly blushing

Just like smiling and laughing, blushing is something that comes involuntarily in a flirty conversation. It’s not because of the hot weather – they’re blushing because of you!

This means you’ve definitely made quite the impression on them. When you notice them blushing, don’t hesitate to send a compliment their way. They’ll definitely appreciate it. [Read: Social anxiety vs shyness – How to decipher what you feel inside]

28. Veers the conversation to date plans

If this person wants to know if you have any hobbies or weekend habits in common, it’s definitely one of the flirting signs.

Maybe they keep talking about that fancy new bar that seems like a good hang-out place, or a good vacation spot. While they could be casually talking about plans they’re excited about, observe if the plans are specific to you.

Whatever it is, they’re doing their best to make date plans with you subtly. [Read: How guys flirt – 15 subtle things guys do to impress a girl]

29. They get annoyed if someone interrupts

Nobody in their right mind would get offended if someone interrupts their conversation with you, unless they like you or have feelings for you. 

Does this person become offended or behave rudely with another person if they cut in to join your conversation? Whenever someone interrupts you mid-conversation, it seems this certain person is always annoyed or frustrated by it.

30. Guys act dominant; girls act coy

Men and women have different flirting signs you should be aware of. A guy will try to behave more manly or protective, while a girl will start to behave in a more demure and coy manner. When you notice either of these mannerisms, they could be flirting with you.

If you feel like this person talks to everyone else in a particular way, but becomes very affectionate or protective around you, that’s a good flirting sign to watch out for. [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people when they like each other]

31. Excited to be with you

When they’re with you, there’s a certain anticipation and excitement that’s clearly in the air. You can’t pinpoint why, but they’re very excited to be around you, even when both of you are doing nothing out of the ordinary. One of the biggest flirting signs is this excitement in the air.

When others see you, they just assume you’re a couple already because of how joyful and happy you are together. [Read: How to accidentally kiss a friend you like]

32. Raised eyebrows

Do they raise their eyebrows when they’re with you or when you walk into the room? It’s a subtle sign to look for, but it’s definitely one of the ways to know if someone is crushing or not!

Raised eyebrows shows intrigue and concentration, and it means they’re trying to work out their next move.

33. Clumsy or apologetic around you

We’ve already said that people become fidgety around people they like, but some people go a step further and become quite clumsy or even apologetic. Is this person tripping up or dropping things and then saying ‘sorry’ too many times? It’s because they like you and they’re trying to flirt!

We automatically become nervous around those we like and this is just one of those adorable signs that gives us away! If they do this, it’s one of the clear ways to know how to tell if someone is flirting with you, or at least trying to. [Read: Social anxiety to social butterfly – How to be less awkward]

34. They try to make you laugh

For your sake, we hope that this person is good with jokes, because otherwise their flirting could be excruciating! Generally, we tend to use humor when flirting because it’s disarming, and it makes the other person smile.

So, if they’re telling you some jokes and trying to make you giggle, it’s definitely one of the flirting signs to look out for.

Friendly vs flirty? Now you know how to tell if someone is flirting with you, what should you do?

If you notice only one sign, wait before making up your mind. However, if you notice three or more signs on this list, there is a high possibility that someone is crushing your way. Their behavior is a clear display of flirtation. [Read: 20 subconscious signs of attraction that show up between two people]

So, what do you do about it? Well, that depends on whether you like them back! If you do, flirt away! After all, there is nothing worse than flirting with someone you like, but getting nothing back!

Flirtation is subtle in many ways. But, you now know what to look out for. Everyone is different, but we tend to make these moves without even realizing what we’re doing. It’s like these are our subconscious flirting impulses, written into our DNA!

[Read: How to talk to your crush – The secrets to make them fall hard for you]

Some flirting signs are not always clear, but this list will help you work out how to tell if someone is flirting with you!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...