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How to Talk Dirty Over Text: Seduce Your Crush with the Right Words

how to talk dirty over text

You want to take the conversation with your crush to the next level. What does this mean? Dirty talk. But do you know how to talk dirty over text?

Let’s not waste any more time, it’s now your moment to learn how to talk dirty over text. When I was younger, I wasn’t talented at dirty talking over text either. I was so nervous and always worried that I would say the wrong thing.

But with time and, of course, practice, I managed to step up my game and became more comfortable in my own skin.

Listen, you’re not going to sound like the Shakespeare of dirty talk right away, it’s going to take some time. I have a feeling that the person you’re dirty talking with isn’t a professional either, so there’s nothing to worry about. [Read: The 16 emojies to use to make any conversation naughty]

How to talk dirty over text

There’s this moment in a conversation where you want to take it to the next level. You’re attracted to them, they’re attracted to you, and, well, you want to have fun. I get it, we’ve all been there. Of course, conversations like “how’s your day,” are nice, but it isn’t exactly what you want.

How do you get to that point where you can dirty text this person? Better question, how do you even dirty talk over text? Well, if you’re new to this, I can imagine the confusion and nerves around this.

There’s a lot of things on your mind. You want to make sure they won’t reject you, you want the timing to be perfect, and you want to sound like a pro. It’s time to get dirty by learning how to talk dirty over text. [Read: How to initiate sexting and make them feel hot and horny]

#1 Do you want to dirty talk? Here’s the thing, if you’re not into dirty talk, it’s going to show. People can sense the enthusiasm of another person even through text. If you’re simply not in the mood or you’re even contemplating if you should do it, well, just take a break for now.

If you want it to be a good experience for both of you, then do it when you’re actually into it.

#2 Don’t just send a dirty text out of nowhere. Do you know if this person is into you? It’s like trying to bake bread with the oven turned off. It’s not going to happen. Start off with a normal conversation, and slowly work your way into a more sexual tone. Basically, you need to test the waters. They may not be into it. [Read: 15 ways to flirt and tease a friend without being weird]

#3 No pics. I don’t know how much more I can say this to people. Don’t send any photos.

First off, you’re literally sending someone a photo of your naked body. Once they have that, who knows what they’ll do with it.

But in addition, you’re taking away all the mystery. You want them to imagine you naked, to play out your dirty texts in their head, you get me? It’s about getting them to that point where they want to live out that dirty conversation in real life. [Read: The beginner dirty talk examples you need!]

#4 They need to give you the okay. When you send a dirty text, don’t continue to bombard them with messages. Just be patient. They need to send you some signal that they want to continue the conversation in this tone.

Now, if they’re changing the subject or only replying with one-word answers, it’s easy to say that they’re not into it. So, in that case, stop. But if they’re into it and showing some hints of arousal and curiosity, then you can keep going.

#5 Don’t rush. Here’s the thing, the odds are, you probably don’t know this person very well. Maybe you met them at a bar last week, you work with them, or maybe you met at a birthday party, but they’re not your close friend. In any case, you shouldn’t rush through getting to know them, even on a sexual level.

The thing that’s great about dirty talk is that you get the chance to see the type of things the person is into. Maybe you don’t sexually match and that’s okay. You just saved yourself an awkward sexual experience. 

#6 Be playful and tactful. You want to have fun when dirty talking with someone. At the same time, you also want to have an end goal when dirty talking.

Obviously, the end goal would be to have sex with this person in real life or maybe you’re trying to spice up your vocabulary, I don’t know. But you need to be smart when dirty talking with someone. Suggesting to meet up too soon will make you look thirsty and possibly ruin the thrill that you developed. [Read: How to make first time sex in a relationship less awkward]

#7 Keep it light. In the beginning, you want to keep the conversation light with a hint of sexuality. Then, slowly, work your way up. The important thing is that the other person is receptive and engaging. With each text, amp up the sexuality and innuendos.

Now, you don’t have to be vulgar when talking dirty. You can keep it clean and wait to see how they respond. That way, you see where your boundaries are. [Read: 40 naughty, playful texts to keep things hot and horny]

#8 You could offend them. Ah yes, you probably didn’t think about this, but it’s always a possibility. You may not say the right thing at the right time and that happens. But if you want to continue, just be cool about it and move forward. Apologize for what you said and keep going. When it comes to knowing how to dirty talk over text, it’s always a tricky line especially if you haven’t slept with them yet, and you don’t know what makes them tick.

#9 Talk about your actions. Now, you may be wondering what you’re going to talk about with them. Well, you’re going to talk about foreplay and sex. Focus on talking about the things you’re going to do to them or what they’re going to do to you. With their replies, you’re basically creating a story, you’re writing out how you would have sex.

#10 Get creative with your words. This isn’t the time for you to stay in the box. This is all over text message, so you can really release your deepest fantasies without worrying. That’s the beauty of dirty talk over text, you’re not doing it in person, so everything is in your imagination, feel free to let go. Unless the person is feeling uncomfortable, that is. [Read: The naughty and sexual truth or dare questions for a sexy night]

#11 You can move it from text to real life. At some point, even after a couple of days or weeks of dirty talk, you’re going to want to take it to the next level. This is when you can suggest them coming over or vice versa to put the texts into reality. Now, you have to time this right or else you run the chance of freaking them out and rejecting the offer.

[Read: Sexy, naughty texting games to ease into sexting]

And all this time you thought that dirty talk was hard. It’s not as intimidating as you think it is to learn how to talk dirty over text. All you need is a little practice.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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