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How to Flirt with a Friend: 15 Ways to Tease without Being Weird

How to Flirt with a Friend

Whether you recently caught feelings or just want to test the waters, it’s hard to learn how to flirt with a friend without making it weird.

Understanding how to flirt with a friend is not the same as learning how to flirt with a date or a complete stranger. When you make a move on a friend, there is more risk involved.

Are you going to make things weird between you? Are your mutual friends going to find out? Will there be drama? Are you just flirting or do you have a motive?

There is a lot to consider when you want to start flirting with a friend.

Learning how to flirt with a friend… what is your goal?

Sure, flirting should not require a bunch of premeditated thought. That is how flirting goes from fun and lighthearted to weird and awkward real quick.

But, knowing what your endgame is in this situation can help you figure out how to flirt with a friend. If you just want to flirt to boost your confidence or to have a nice time, you can be a bit more laidback. If you don’t think too much of it neither will they.

But, if you want to learn how to flirt with a friend so you can hint at your growing feeling for them, you may want to take a different path. Do you actually want to date them? Are you considering it? Do you think you know how they feel? [Read: 13 friendzone hacks to get your friend to start falling for you]

I know it seems like a lot, but when figuring out how to flirt with a friend, these are all things to think about. Flirting seems innocent enough, but it can be taken out of context, misconstrued, and even end friendships. So, a little bit of consideration beforehand is worthwhile. [Read: Want to keep it platonic? How to get over a crush on your friend]

How to flirt with a friend

Flirting with a friend may sound complicated, but once you think about your goal, it is actually easier than flirting with a complete stranger. You already know this person. You probably know their sense of humor and what they like versus having to just guess.

When you flirt with a friend, you have a whole relationship to go off of. You know which buttons to push and which to avoid.

Keep that in mind when taking these tips on how to flirt with a friend into account.

#1 Tease. Don’t push each other on the playground, but tease each other. A little light teasing pushes your friendship into a more playful zone. Tease them about their taste in music, their lack of ability to eat spicy food, really whatever strikes your fancy.

Remember, you know this person so use what you know to take your conversation from normal to flirty. [Read: Friend to lover – What you really need to know]

#2 Connect. Remind them that you are friends. I know that might seem like the opposite of what you want to do, but when you remind someone that you already have a connection and that they feel comfortable around you, it isn’t friendzoning you, it is creating a building block.

You can’t go back in time, unfriend this person, and start flirting on day one, so build off of the connection you already have. [Read: 13 flirty ways to slide back into the sexual zone]

#3 Keep it light. Sure, maybe you are in love with this person, but take it easy. There is a chance this person doesn’t even know you are interested in the least.

Keep the flirting light. You can tell them they look nice, or slowly have deeper, more meaningful conversations, but don’t go from laughing at farts to telling them how their heart is yours.

#4 Have hope. Whether your goal is to date your friend, just flirt, or have a friends-with-benefits type situation always hold out hope. This is what will keep you in a good headspace while flirting.

Flirting with a friend is not so different than just talking to a friend, but if you are nervous they won’t reciprocate your flirting attempts. And that means you are going to come off nervous and awkward which is fine for a stranger, but not someone you know. So always remind yourself you never know what will happen. [Read: How to kiss a friend accidentally and get away with it]

#5 Have confidence. Confidence is something you can sense on someone, and when someone lacks it, flirting fails. Whether you are nervous, fearful of rejection, or using self-deprecating humor to flirt, these things are not enticing to someone you want to form a romantic connection with.

Whoever you are trying to flirt with will feed off your confidence, and the flirting will be much more successful. 

#6 Go above friendship. Would you give your friend a ride to the airport? Sure. But, would you help them move into a seventh story apartment with no elevator? Make this friend stand out. Flirting doesn’t just have to be verbal banter.

Go above and beyond. You do not need to make big romantic gestures, but do things you wouldn’t do for just any old friend. [Read: How to handle falling for your best friend]

#7 Make small gestures. Again, flirting is a subtle art. You do not have to go big every time. Showing someone that you know them and get them with small acts of kindness are what really stand out. Sure, sky-writing is shocking, but how long does that feeling of excitement last?

Small gestures make a big impact. Watch their favorite show so you can spill the tea together. Put their favorite music on when they come over. Small things like that will not go unnoticed.

#8 Check in. Make sure they know you care by checking in. Only someone who was interested in me as more than a friend really goes out of their way to check in.

Ask how their meeting or doctor’s appointment went. Is their mom struggling with the heating at her house? Ask how that is going. Take notice of the things your crush says in passing. It doesn’t sound like flirting with a friend, but it is.

#9 Spend time alone. Without alone time, flirting will always be considered just friendly chatting. So pull them away from the group. Even if you just go buy the second round for the group, bring your special friend along to help. Sneak some flirting in away from everyone else.

This will pull your connection away from a group and focus on just the two of you which is more private. [Read: 16 hush-hush signs your friend has thought of having sex with you]

#10 Touch. Sure, you punch your friends’ shoulder or hug them, but putting your hand on their knee or placing their hair behind their ear is an endearing touch that is subtle yet means a lot more than friendship.

Of course, you do not want to take this too far. Be appropriate. But body language may be even more important than actual language when it comes to flirting with a friend. [Read: 15 subtle flirting touches to bring them closer without any effort]

#11 Be subtle. Not so subtle that they don’t know you are flirting, but if you are taking a risk by trying to go from friends to more than that gives them time to get used to the idea. You have probably been pondering over this for a while so springing your interest on them suddenly will not go well.

Slowly introduce the idea of your interest in them by flirting a bit more each time you see each other. They will get the hint eventually, and then when it is time to see where things go from here they will already have thought about it.

#12 Focus on them. In a group? Do not give them all your attention, but make it clear you enjoy their company. Be aware of how they are feeling and acting. Take their feelings into account. This person may not be your significant other, but if that is your end goal, treat them how you would if they were.

#13 Let them vibe back. Do not take up all the air in the room. Sometimes being nervous makes us lose our words, other times it makes our flirting a nonstop ramble session. Make sure to hold back and let them flirt back.

Read their vibe. If they are feeling what you are putting out there they will respond positively, but if you don’t give them a chance, how will you ever know?

#14 Argue playfully. You know those old married couples that argue about the silliest things but are so cute while doing so? You could be that. So, take some inspiration from those couples and bring it into your flirting.

Arguing about who the craziest person on The Bachelor is? Maybe you think grilled cheese and ketchup is a match made in heaven, and they think dipping a grilled cheese sandwich in ketchup is a food catastrophe. [Read: Naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

#15 Make a move. Flirting cannot go on forever. You have an endgame, surely. So make a move. Maybe you bring them coffee every time you see each other? This time write a little note on the cup, asking them out on a date.

Maybe you give everyone a gift card for the holidays, but give them a truly well thought out gift. Make that one move that makes your feelings obvious. Without that risk, the flirting will just be that.

[Read: How to ask a friend out without risking the friendship]

Learning how to flirt with a friend and not make it weird sounds like a difficult task. But as long as you take it slow and ease them into your feelings, things should work out just fine, or better than fine.

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...

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