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Texting a Girl for the First Time: 55 Tips & First Text Examples to Make Her Smile

It can be overwhelming and nerve-wracking when trying to figure out how to text a girl for the first time. We have all the tips you need to make it easy.

how to text a girl for the first time

Finally! You’ve managed to get the number of that cute girl you like. You play it cool and wait a few days to get in touch. But you need to know how to text a girl for the first time. That’s why these tips will be invaluable to you.

When the time is just right to text the girl, you simply can’t think of the right words. The first text seems like a daunting task. 

Where do you begin? What if you say something corny? Maybe you’ll go wrong somewhere? Maybe you’ll come across as a bore?! 

We have all been there – you want to devise the perfect text and grab her attention, make her sit up and take notice, give her butterflies, and make her heart melt. 

The problem is, when you’re trying to do exactly that, all words leave you. You suddenly can’t think of any coherent, let alone impressive. [Read: How to text a girl for the first time and leave a great impression]

And let’s be real. Girls are on their guard now more than ever before. 

Texting a girl in the hopes of leaving her with a great impression will not be easy. It’s time for men to step up their game when it comes to earning a woman’s affection. 

Basically, you need to take a few tips from someone who actually knows what girls want to hear. Look, girls aren’t as superficial as you might think. [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]

So being too assertive and flirty early on won’t make her interested in you. Texting her is all about building a connection, so you can’t just skip steps and go right ahead to the flirting stage – that’s not how it works.

You have to know what girls actually want from a guy when they first talk

It’s not enough to just tell a girl she’s pretty and that you liked talking to her the night before. She wants more than that. 

In fact, she wants you actually to make an effort. If she sees you’re trying, you’ll earn more points with her. You have to be interested in getting to know her.

We know how hard it is to text a girl when you’re really nervous about what to say, but being yourself is enough!

 It’s less about trying to play it cool and more about showing her you actually want something with her. Yes, that might seem like a big deal after just getting her number and texting her for the first time, but it’s true.

Why would she waste her time on you if you’re not interested in developing something real with her? That’d just be a waste of her time. [Read: 14 things women actually want in a man]

Why is the first text to a girl so important?

There are so many different strategies you can use in your first text to a girl, and only you will know which one will suit her. Do you want to seduce her? Make her laugh? Romance her? Play it cool?

Your first text to a girl will set the standard for what she will come to expect from you. Everything from your greeting, to using emojis, to how many kisses you put at the end *or whether to put kisses at all* will have a direct effect on whether or not you get the response you want. 

For that reason, you need to think carefully before pressing ‘send’. Of course, it’s not always going to be this dramatic. 

Your connection with a girl is highly dependent on your text conversation with her. 

Once you’ve got a feel for texting her and you’re batting messages back and forth, everything will be much easier. That first text, however? Let’s help you out. [Read: 15 rules to impress a girl in your very first text]

How to text a girl for the first time without screwing it up for yourself

Now that we’ve established you definitely need help in this field, let’s get to it. If you truly want to make a great first impression and leave a girl wanting more with you, here’s how to do it. [Read: How to keep a text conversation going when you have nothing to say]

1. Make sure she gave you her number

Getting her number from another guy or one of her friends doesn’t cut it. It’s super creepy to get an unexpected text in that way and she’ll be really annoyed right off the bat. So, if you want to text a girl, ask for her number yourself. 

You can also make friends with her on social media and start messaging there before asking for her number. Either way, it has to come from her. Then, you don’t come off as creepy or weird in any way. [Read: 10 no-fail ways to get a girl’s number every time]

2. Keep it simple to start

You don’t want to start a conversation by going into insane details about your life. This will feel like you’re coming on way too strong and that could potentially scare her away. 

Don’t try too hard, but keep it simple if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time.

Maybe ask her about her day and take the conversation from there. It’s a decent start that doesn’t show you’re trying too hard. [Read: 35 best text conversation starters for the shy & socially awkward]

3. Ask some meaningful questions

Believe us when we say she’s bored of the same old, “what’s up?” 

So, while you want to keep things simple to start with, once the conversation is going, ask some deeper and more meaningful questions. Girls love this as it shows that the conversation has some form of substance in it.

Ask her what she likes to do for fun and if she wants to do something like that for a career someday. Ask her how she feels about something important happening in the world. These questions are golden, and you won’t bore her to death with them! [Read: 60 meaningful get-to-know-you questions]

4. Keep any sex jokes to yourself

This is a significant one so pay close attention. If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, refrain from texting any sex jokes. She might be offended by this or disrespected, even if it’s just a joke for you.

First of all, you don’t know what her humor is yet, and second, she’s still getting to know you. If you try, she’ll think you only want her for sex and that’ll end any chances you have with her.

So, keep them to yourself. [Read: What to text a girl you like: 15 ways to make her love texting you]

5. But still make some jokes

On the flip side, you still want to make her laugh. So long as the jokes aren’t sexual in nature, she’ll be happy to laugh with you. You can even send her memes and funny videos that you find personally funny!

Just remember not to make any offensive jokes, or you might ruin any chance of building a connection with her. [Read: How to make a girl laugh and like you instantly]

6. Let her lead the conversation at some point

You texted her and while it may be tempting to take over and ask a bunch of questions to get her talking, you need to let her have some of the floor too. This also helps you gauge her interest.

If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, let her lead the conversation. Also, when she initiates, it’s a sign that she likes talking to you. She wouldn’t want to keep talking if that wasn’t the case. [Read: Texting anxiety – How to send and receive texts without freaking out]

7. Ask about her hobbies

You always want to ask about what a girl likes to do for fun. And don’t let her give you the same old, “I like to watch movies.” 

Instead, press her a little bit here and ask if she has any interesting hobbies. Also, to make her open up more, you can also share some hobbies of your own.

If you find common ground between you, even better! Now you’ll have something to talk about to stay hooked in the conversation. [Read: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]

8. Compliment her intelligence at some point

If you keep complimenting the way she looks, she’ll eventually get tired of it. If you really want to know how to text a girl for the first time and leave her thinking about you, tell her you like how her mind works. [Read: The best compliments for girls: 25 genuine lines she’ll love to hear]

That’s enough to make her want to talk to you a lot more. There’s just something about a guy who cares about how your mind works and compliments your knowledge and intellect. 

It also gives her the idea you don’t just care about physical beauty, but inner beauty as well.

9. Stay playful and flirty

Don’t let the conversation get all too serious. It’s okay to discuss touchy topics here and there, but keep the mood light somehow. This will make her see how positive you are and that’s always an attractive quality.

But be careful in full-on flirting with her as you should save this for when she’s comfortable enough talking to you. If you do this right, she’ll appreciate your playful and flirty side *she might even like it*! [Read: How to tease a girl over text and get her to flirt back]

10. Give her a chance to ask questions

One thing guys seem to do too much is ask questions over and over and over again. You ask, she answers. You ask another, and she answers, and this continues without you ever having talked about yourself. Give her an opportunity to ask you something.

A conversation should be a two-way street so if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, let her ask questions. She should get to know you the way you do her, right? That is how a conversation works, after all.

11. Use some emojis, for goodness’ sake!

This lets her know you’re goofy. In order to keep things light and interesting, use some nicely-placed emojis and emoticons. You can really make her laugh if you know how to use them well.

And anyway, girls don’t like texting guys who are too stiff in their texts! Unless you’re talking about something serious, then use emojis *just not too many of them*! [Read: Funny emojis everyone needs to use more often]

12. Leave her wanting more

Don’t end the conversation by asking to hang out. Tell her you have to go but would love to chat later. And do this toward the end of a great conversation. Yes, it might frustrate her a little, but in a good way. 

You’re basically applying the element of the chase in your texts but of course, don’t do it too often as you might push her away for good! [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]

13. Match her energy

This is one of the most important things to remember if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time. Girls tend to get bored when texting a guy who doesn’t match their energy, so make sure to match her enthusiasm.

If she tends to have a lot of energy when texting, try to match this. When she sees that you’re trying to reach her energy, she’ll appreciate this coming from you. [Read: How not to be dry when texting a girl: 20 ways to keep her hooked]

14. Less is more

There’s no need to text her an entire paragraph to keep her interested and make a great first impression. In this scenario, less is more. Be concise and direct to the point when texting her. 

By texting her an entire paragraph, you won’t keep her attention on you. Anyway, it’s better in person than in text when you’re saying something lengthy, right?

15. Exchange stories

When it comes to text conversations, stories will keep her engaged without getting bored. Also, it’s an excellent way for both of you to get to know one another. [Read: How to get to know someone over text and build a real connection

If you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, exchange fun stories with one another! It’s much better than consistently asking her what she’s doing * you’ll annoy her if you keep texting her with this question!*

16. Show off your personality

Your text conversation with a girl doesn’t have to be so stiff and rigid. You’re getting to know one another, so what’s the point of texting if you won’t show your true personality? 

Don’t be afraid to make her laugh, show her your humor, and reveal your true nature. [Read: How to be more likable – 15 unfake ways to be adored for who you are]

The best thing about this is that she finds your true personality cute. Don’t hide it, but show it to her! This is your best chance of making a great first impression.

17. Stop overthinking everything

If you really want to know how to text a girl for the first time, it’s important you don’t overthink everything. The more you overthink, you might end up texting the wrong thing.

Remember that texts have no unsend button so if you text her the wrong thing, she’ll read it whether you like it or not! Just relax and go with the natural flow of the conversation. [Read: How to stop overthinking: Secrets to go from overthinker to relaxer]

18. Keep it light and casual

This might seem contradictory to what we said earlier, but hear us out. You can ask her meaningful questions, but you must keep the conversation light and casual. 

Don’t go too serious, like asking her about her childhood or what her parents’ marriage is like.

Keep these topics for the first date or when you get to know each other better. Until then, keep the flow of the conversation simple. [Read: 50 relationship questions to test your compatibility instantly!]

19. Avoid shortcuts

We’re pretty sure you can complete a sentence without using shortcuts and acronyms. So if you want to know how to text a girl for the first time, you should avoid shortcuts. Just text your entire thought without using shortcuts. 

It’s really not that hard, is it? Some girls judge you based on how you text, especially if you use too much slang. It’s crucial you get this right.

20. Get busy

When you’re first texting a girl, it’s easy to become anxious waiting for their response. However, there’s also nothing attractive about a guy who waits around for a text because he has nothing better to do. [Read: How to be more interesting and make everyone want to know you]

Go live your life and get on with your day! Live an interesting life while you’re at it, and she’ll love the stories you tell about your day.

21. Revisit your previous conversation

Since you have her number, the chances are that you’ve talked to her at least once before you text her. After all, how would you have gotten her number in the first place?

So, if you can’t think of anything to say at the moment, you can always revisit your previous conversation. Maybe you were talking about your favorite pizza. [Read: How to talk to a girl – 20 secrets that will make you irresistible to women]

Well, ask her if she’s had any lately. Anything you can reference from when you talked before will do. She’ll be impressed that you remembered your conversation in the first place.

22. Talk about your common interests

If you don’t know her very well, then ask her about her interests and hobbies. After a while, it is likely that something she is interested in, you are too. So, focus on those so that you both have a lot to say about the topic.

Talking about your common interests also builds a bond between the two of you. Everyone likes it when they share commonalities with another person – it just feels good and helps you vibe with each other. [Read: 24 secrets to talk to your crush and make them fall for you in no time]

23. Ask for a recommendation

You might want to say that you’re bored and want to watch a movie. So, ask her what he favorite one *or ones* are and why? Then you can continue the conversation about other movies that you like and such.

But it doesn’t have to be a movie recommendation. It could be anything from a restaurant to a new drink to try. This opens the door to getting the two of you to talk about your favorite things and common interests.

24. Set up a date to meet her IRL

Listen, most girls have enough people to text, so they don’t need another texting buddy. Some guys drag out the texting too long before asking the girl on a date in real life. [Read: 21 Secrets and ways to ask a girl out on a date and get her to say yes]

Sure, in this technological age, it’s not uncommon for people to have virtual “relationships” that are mostly dependent on phones or laptops. But you still should have a real-life relationship with her too. So be brave and ask her out already! 

25. Stop waiting for validation

It’s never easy to be rejected, so some guys are too timid and try to look for any and all signs that she’s interested in them. But you may or may not get that from her. It’s difficult to decipher whether or not some girls are being friendly or flirty.

So, just suck it up and pretend as if she likes you. This will also show self-confidence, which all girls like in a guy.

Waiting for validation from her will only make you look weak, which is not a good trait. [Read: Why am I so insecure? 29 reasons and ways to feel secure from within]

26. Make her feel comfortable 

Sure, you might think she’s the hottest girl that has ever walked the planet. But you don’t want to be creepy when you’re texting a girl. Compliments are one thing, but talking about her hot and sexy body is another.

You want her to feel comfortable talking to you, not weirded out. So, be nice, funny, friendly, and interesting. Don’t do anything that will make her want to avoid your texts at all costs.

A few first-text-to-a-girl examples to guide you 

With only helping you in mind, we have come up with an extensive list of great texts that you can use in your first text to a girl.

If you need some inspiration, just take a look at the list below and pick one that you like. It’s as easy as that! [Read: 20 sexy text messages to start a sexy conversation]

1. Hey girl, want to know a secret?

This first text is great, it’s fun, a little bit mysterious, and will have her intrigued from the beginning. When she responds *which she almost certainly will,* you can say something cute and funny like, “I met this great girl the other day, and I think I have a crush on her.”

2. Hey, sorry, I just found this number on my phone, not sure who it is.

This is a clever little text to send when you are trying to figure out ways to frame the first text to a girl. And if you are not confident she will reply, then this is the one for you. Playing it cool can be a great way to entice your lady in.

If it seems like you’ve forgotten about her, she’ll be determined to make you remember.

When she tells you who it is, make sure you sound pleased – you don’t want to play it so cool that you put her off altogether. [Read: 63 Cute good morning texts that work like magic and make them smile]

3. OMG, will you stop texting me already, this is getting ridiculous!

Obviously, this text is a little tongue-in-cheek, and should only be sent if you haven’t heard from her. She’ll know you’re kidding and that you have a good sense of humor, which is a huge bonus. 

If you add a winking emoji afterward, you’ll make sure that she doesn’t take you at your word and think you’re really complaining about her texting frequency, or non-frequency as the case may be. [Read: Sexy, naughty texting games to have fun all night long]

4. Let’s switch roles. You’re me, I’m you. what would you do to make me say ‘yes’ to a date?

Again, this is a cute and funny way to show that you are interested. It’s teasing her and complimenting her, and being pretty straightforward too! You like her, you want to ask her out, and you want to know how to make that happen!

5. What’s your favorite drink?

When you are trying to figure out the first text to a girl, keep it simple but to the point with this one. When she tells you what it is, then respond by saying you know a great bar that specializes in *insert her favorite drink here* and then ask her out on a date.

6. OMG, the most amazing thing happened today! I was walking down the street and …

Cut your text off halfway through, and make it sound like you have something super exciting to tell her. [Read: 50 flirty text messages that are sure to make her smile]

And when she replies by asking what it is, tell her you’ll only give her the rest if she agrees to go out with you!

7. I like you, when can we hang out?

This is a simple, honest, and direct approach to your first text to a girl. If your girl prefers to be straightforward and hates games, then this text will go down as a treat.

8. I think you’re really pretty. I’d love to take you out sometime, when are you free?

Giving her a sweet compliment without being too forceful or sexual is a great way to start. [Read: How to ask a girl out when you’re a shy guy and do it with confidence]

She’ll feel flattered and trust that you are a nice guy. She’ll know that you’re not just after sex, so she will be more likely to say yes to you and see how it goes.

9. As much as I love text conversations, perhaps it’s time we meet face-to-face.

If you don’t know what to text her, but want to sound super cool and direct in your first text to a girl, use this. Just bite the bullet and ask her out, plain and simple. [Read: What to text a girl – All the dos, don’ts, and secrets to know]

10. I have been thinking about you all day and I can’t stop

Letting a girl know that she is on your mind is both flattering and romantic. So if you have been daydreaming about her, then be sure to let her know. Don’t forget about this simple, yet effective, strategy that’s daring and bold for a very first text to a girl.

11. Tell me your perfect date

Go straight ahead and ask her out. Get her to describe her perfect date, and then take her on it. You’ll know she’ll love the gesture – trying to get everything absolutely perfect for her will go down as another treat.

This is one of the best strategies when you text a girl for the first time if you’re totally interested in dating her. [Read: How to text flirt with a friend]

12. Want to come on a secret tour of *insert city/place you live*

This text will be intriguing and show that you know how to have fun. Exploring the city in which you live with someone who can show you new places *or secret venues you never knew existed* can be really fun.

13. My friends and I are hanging out at *insert venue* later. Wondering if you wanted to join us?

This is a great first text to use if you want to keep it casual. Let her know that you are bringing friends along, and the group situation will put less pressure on her.

So, if she just wants to see how it goes without the expectations that go with a 1:1 date, then she’ll be way more likely to agree. This is a low-risk strategy for a first text to a girl who’s given you her number. [Read: 18 Sneaky ways to get a girl to ask you out and tease her into dating you]

14. You make me nervous

If you want to be cute, tell her she makes you nervous – it will make her melt. This approach to a first text gives her a little bit of control and power but tells her what a serious effect she is having on you *which is sure to make her smile.*

15. I saw this and thought of you

Take a picture of something funny or romantic, or pick an interesting and funny meme and send it to her. It’s a casual and fun start without the pressure of using words in the first text! [Read: How to talk to your crush and make them fall for you]

16. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should we meet again?

OK, so cheesy lines aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But if you do them in a cheeky way so she knows that you are joking with her *rather than being sleazy or serious,* then she’ll find it funny and pretty attractive too!

17. What are you doing right now?

If you want to be super spontaneous, then why not text a girl and see if she is free straight away? Make sure you have something fun and silly planned if she is free.

It could be a picnic in the park, a game of hide and seek, tickets to a gig or sports game – anything you can think of!

18. Look who is dying to meet you *picture of a puppy*

When she asks if it is yours, you can just say “no, but I knew it would get you talking!” It’s a fun way to tease her, and she will appreciate the joke. [Read: 30 Hot sexting examples to start a naughty text marathon]

19. I have no idea what to say, I just wanted to text you

Sometimes you just have to be blunt and honest. If you really can’t think of anything to say when you’re trying to compose that first text to a girl you like, just tell her that you wanted to text but couldn’t come up with anything.

It’s honest, if nothing else, and surely, she’ll appreciate that!

20. Just wanted to say hi and see how your day is going

Okay, this one is a little generic, but it gets the job done. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting to say hello and see how a person is doing.

It’s not the most creative or memorable approach, but it will at least get her talking. [Read: 20 Flirty emojis to tease in your texts and leave them thinking of you]

21. Is this your busy season? Is this a busy time for you?

You can approach this one of two ways. If her job is seasonal, such as an accountant *during tax season* or retail *during Christmas season*, then you can ask her about it and how she’s holding up.

The other way you can approach this is simply by asking her if she’s busy at the moment. You don’t want to bother her when she’s at work or in class. Asking her if she’s free to talk shows respect for her time. She’ll appreciate it.

22. Hey *name*, you know what’s interesting about your pictures?

If you’re friends with her on social media, then you can look at her pictures and try to find something interesting about them or a common theme. Then, send her some of your thoughts and compliment her. [Read: How to comment on a girl’s picture on Instagram and get a response]

For example, maybe she likes to stick her tongue out or do duck lips in a lot of her pictures. You can talk about how playful she is and how her pictures make her look beautiful. Anything else that you can find to comment on will do as well.

23. Hey *name*, you know what was fun about meeting you for the first time?

If you met her at a bar, an amusement park, a party, or anywhere else, you can reflect on the first time the two of you talked. Maybe she told you a funny story or made you do a beer bong.

Whatever it was, try to find something unique that you can point out from when the two of you first met.

If at all possible, try to get her laughing and reminiscing about your initial interactions with each other. [Read: Dry texting – what it is, 44 signs, and ways to avoid being a boring dry texter]

24. Don’t ask me why, but this made me think of you 

If you find a picture of a cute teddy bear, dog, kitten, sunset, flower, or anything else that’s pretty, then send it to her. But make sure it’s something that is cute/beautiful so she sees the connection and gets the hint that you like her.

Conversely, you can also try sending her a funny meme if it’s relevant to her, your common interests, or any other way it could remind you of her. Girls always love to get memes, and they like it when a guy says that he is thinking of her.

25. What kind of music do you like to listen to?

This question will help you learn more about yourself. Hopefully, you will find commonalities with your musical tastes.

But even if you don’t, you can make her feel good by saying that you should try to listen to her recommendations. [Read: 7 Ways to make dating a music lover more fun!]

Another way you can approach this is to use it as an opening to ask her on a date to see a concert or live musical event. This is a fun first date, and by talking about it over text, you can gauge how to ask her out.

26. Alright, here’s an important question. What’s your favorite movie, and why is it your favorite?

Everyone loves movies, and a lot of people are passionate about the ones they love. Maybe you have similar interests in movies, and maybe you don’t. 

And just like with her musical tastes, you can either talk about your similarities or assure her that you’ll check out her recommendations. [Read: 60 Most romantic movies in the world that are a must-watch in 2022]

27. Do you have any dating pet peeves or things that men do that drive you crazy in a bad way?

This is a question that you can use to your advantage. When she tells you what she doesn’t like *which she will*, then make a mental note to never, ever do that with her. After all, you don’t want her to be repulsed by you, do you? 

The other way this can be useful for you is to do the opposite of what she hates. For example, if she hates it when guys take a long time to text her back, then you can be the guy who answers her in a timely manner to make her happy.

28. Alright, I have an important question for you. Coffee or beer? 

This question is really for an ulterior motive. It seems innocent enough, but it can serve as an opening to ask her out on a date. [Read: 20 Intriguing conversation starters for a casual coffee date]

If she says coffee, tell her you’ll take her to Starbucks. If she says beer *or another cocktail*, tell her that you’d love to take her out for a drink sometime.

29. Today, I’m about 4% more amazing than yesterday. What’s your daily level of amazing at?

Now, this one is pretty funny and shows your confidence. Just make sure that you don’t come across as too cocky telling her how awesome you are. 

So, make sure that you play up the humor aspect of it. Also, you can use it as a gateway to give her some compliments and say why you think she’s amazing. [Read: 77 Funny things to text a girl and make her laugh and love you over text]

Beware of the double text

Now, once you’ve sent that text, you need to become busy – especially when you text a girl for the first time. Like, really busy. You’re going to be waiting for your phone to beep, vibrate, or whatever it normally does. 

You’re going to want to look at the screen and will it to light up with her name. But, you know what they say about a watched pot? Yeah, it never happens. 

Time will go super slow when you focus on waiting for a reply. That’s why you need to distract yourself and just wait it out. [Read: Texting anxiety: How to send & receive texts without freaking out]

You see, girls do not like it when guys appear desperate and that’s how you’re going to look if you send more than one text, one after the other.

However, there is one exception to the rule. 

Send the text and make yourself very busy to pass the time. If she doesn’t reply in the next few days, it’s just about okay to send one more. [Read: Double texting – what it is, how to avoid it, and 15 must-follow rules]

However, you need to come up with something witty and light. “I’ve been so busy I wondered if you’d text and I didn’t see it” with a winking emoji to show her that you’re being light-hearted, will do. Then, leave it. 

Do not send any further texts unless she replies. If she doesn’t reply to your follow-up text, you have to let it go. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s just the way it is. If you send more texts, you’re annoying and she’s less likely to reply. 

Some girls just don’t reply and that’s how it is. You can’t like everyone back, right? If that’s the case, just move on to the next one. There are plenty more fish in the sea! [Read: Am I texting too much? 16 signs they think you’re a clingy texter]

So, how to text a girl for the first time?

When texting her for the first time, first impressions really do matter. You’ll want to keep the conversation interesting, but not to the point where you’re trying too hard. 

Just be yourself, stay calm, and let the conversation flow naturally. If you have chemistry, you’ll naturally hook her into the conversation anyway.

[Read: Texting etiquette & flirting: 26 Rules guys & girls must follow]

Knowing how to text a girl for the first time without screwing it up is extremely important. In fact, this might be your chance to ask her out on an actual date!

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...