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Sexual Fantasies and Dirty Fantasies in Bed

sexual fantasies and dirty fantasies

Dirty talking in bed and bedroom fantasies can be a great sexual boost in every relationship if done the right way. Find out more about sexual fantasies in bed and how you can indulge in it without crossing the red line.

Click here to read the introduction on how to talk dirty in bed and find out everything about sexual fantasies and examples of talking dirty in bed.

We’ve seen that bedroom fantasies and dirty talk in bed can be a huge turn on, and can also improve your sex life by miles in the introduction feature.

But after seeing how dirty talking in bed can actually lead to mistrust if not kept in check, you may want to know if bedroom fantasies are a boon or a bane to couples in love.

Can bedroom fantasies and sexual fantasies go bad?

Firstly, even before we talk about when it can go bad, we have to realise that anything in moderation is great and can be a huge turn on.

But too much of any good thing usually leads to bad results.

[Read: Top 10 sexual male fantasies and top 10 female sexual fantasies]

So bedroom fantasies and sexual fantasies in bed are definitely not bad. It’s actually a nice way to explore your inner sexual desires and the desires of your partner’s. But at the same time, it is a risky business.

Playing safe with bedroom fantasies

If your wife’s hot single friend turns you on, or your husband’s eligible bachelor pal makes you weak in your knees, you better be careful about talking about that same person while having sex all the time. [Read: How to start fantasizing about someone else with your partner]

It can rouse unnecessary suspicions and make things uncomfortable. But that’s not really the bad part of bedroom fantasies. Here’s the really bad part.

If you have a crush on your partner’s friend or your own friend from the workplace, and you talk about having sex with this person every time you’re having sex with your partner, you really need to ask yourself whether you’re overdoing it? You may be so obsessed with having sex with someone else that you may end up really lusting for this person in reality, or worse, you may not get sexually excited about your own partner unless you talk about this special sexy friend.

And that is actually the biggest issue with bedroom fantasies and dirty talking in bed. It’s definitely curable over a few months though, but should you risk something like that? [Read: New age relationships in a promiscuous world]

Bedroom fantasies and love

At times, overindulgence in fantasies can actually distance you from your partner. You may have sex a lot more, what with both of you mentally having sex with a different person each time you have sex. But every now and then, you should involve yourselves too, to have a great time in bed by just talking about each other more often.

And think about it, if your sexual fantasies involve having sex with your girlfriend’s sister or best friend, or your boyfriend’s hot friend or co-worker, there is every possibility of your partner feeling insecure or doubting your fidelity now and then.

Speaking about sexual fantasies

Talking about someone in bed isn’t the bad part of this. Not talking about it after sex is the really bad part. Why would someone not talk about it after sex, unless they’re feeling guilty or awkward? Ad if you feel guilty about it, it means you lust about that person even when you’re not having sex. Talk about the other people you involve in bed freely and openly with your partner, so they never have to feel insecure about the relationship. [Read: Are you experiencing love or lust for someone else?]

After all, it really is alright to get turned on by someone other than your partner too. We’re only human, seriously!

It’s best to actually speak about the fantasies and have fun, rather than feel awkward and hold your emotions back, after an imaginative bedroom fantasy with your partner. You could also pull your partner’s leg about that particular person or incident and laugh it out together, rather than dwell in the thoughts stealing you partner’s mind away.

Bedroom fantasies and the silver lining

When we come to think of it, we know that most partners fantasize in bed  about someone else while having sex with their own partner, if not all. It is said that 80% of men and 65% of women fantasize in bed. Most don’t tell their partner about their racy thoughts, afraid that they might strain the relationship.

But hiding sexual fantasies does affect your relationship. You definitely don’t want to catch your partner with a dazed look in bed, and lost in their own world, while you make love to them.

Fantasizing about your partner having sex with someone else

If you fantasize about your partner having sex with another person, it just shows that you actually find your partner physically appealing and it turns you on to see him/her passionately having sex, from afar. Or if you fantasize about some voyeuristic exposé with your partner, hey, it’s your own way to heighten the pleasure of sex. It means you would get turned on even if you saw your partner across the street. Now isn’t that complimenting? [Read: Public flashing confessions]

Most people start to lose sexual interest in their partner after a few years because, quite frankly, they’ve seen everything already! But by watching them with someone else in a sexual fantasy, you can actually admire and be sexually excited by your own partner in a whole new way.

Each person has their own way to enhance their satisfaction using sexual fantasies by imagining different situations. It’s never bad to fantasize as long as both partners are comfortable and enjoy the talk. It can also heighten your experience, and can bring back the spark in your bedroom lives. [Read: How to use erotica to have a better sex life]

The last word on sexual fantasies

Fantasies and imaginations have always been at the back of our minds. Be it a chivalrous deed when you want to impress your crush, or the thought of being Wonder Woman. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to you when you discover this new side of your partner when you’re in bed.

Make it clear to your partner though, about what you are comfortable with, and what puts you off. And hopefully, you can explore the imaginative sides of the both of you that haven’t been ventured so far using sexual fantasies. A threesome with another couple anyone? Or perhaps, making out in a masseur’s parlour…? Mentally, of course!

[Read: Best sex songs to have sex to]

Enjoy your sexual fantasies and dirty talk in bed, and enjoy it more by sharing it with your partner. But always remember to be open and truthful, because some bedroom fantasies just can’t be undone when you cross that thin red line of sexual fantasies.

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18 thoughts on “Sexual Fantasies and Dirty Fantasies in Bed”

  1. Amy says:

    The only sexual fantasy for me would be is that my husband would make love to me. Weve been married 45 years and hasn’t slept or made love to me in any way. He eats and sleeps in our basement and thats all the closer we get to each other. Its hard to admit that I’m still a virgin. And I guess i always will be, but I’ve wondered what sex would be like.

  2. Keith says:

    In my mind, there’s nothing better than lots of foreplay with some form of clothes on for both the man & woman. Personally, I like to be the dominate one in control and slow deliberate stroking, touching, caressing, kissing of all sorts for an unbelievable orgasm for both parties. There is no better natural drug or feeling in this world than when both parties are equally into it.

  3. Susan says:

    Fantasy begins in the mind. Some can come to life while others are better left in the head. Perverted sex in any form can be practiced by both partners with consensus. Nothing wrong with that as long as both agree. Foreplay can come in many forms as Keith mentioned above but not all works for everyone. Assuming you are the male dominate perhaps you need a partner that is a sub to complete your fantasy’s.

  4. William Nolan says:

    A fantasy that my wife and I share would be to have a true, fully functioning hermaphrodite join us and have fun with both of us. Definitely oral…..and penetrating not just my wife, but the other girl and me as well.

  5. Jojo Agado says:

    I know you’ve been ‘without’ lately. Just lookin’ out for you girl!

  6. Liza says:

    I like the ideas and all. But all that I’m worried about is what if you share your fantasies with each other and lets say my bf wants to sleep with my best friend… wouldn’t that put strain on our relationship knowing that he has had these fantasies with my best friend and so on. Just an example. Like how would you feel next time your in the same room with the two. Would your trust be a bit shattered because your scared he cheats on you with her. Or how? I’m really in two.

  7. Mike says:

    ok so what should one person do on this case My wife of 10 years was a wild person in her younger college years she had many threesome and different sex with different men, then I came along and never had a threesome but want one, and she says NO clear as day but yet when we get all ready for sex it’s always brought up how they did it to her and what they did and then she gets all wet and want me to reacted it like I was them. BUT THE TIMES ITS ALL ABOUT JUST USE THE SEX IS LIKE 5 mints then she done, but if it’s about them and there brought in to it it’s like hours of sex, is this Normal Is this write for her to do…?

  8. Jeremy Love says:

    I suggest that you try some fantasies that are more neutral to each other’s preference. Something more generic. Once you have shared some neutral fantasies, his need for an outside source to be his fantasy will disappear and you will be his object of fantasy.

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