You may be in a relationship and may have experienced sexual intimacy with your lover, but understanding how to turn yourself on isn’t easy, at least at the beginning. The thing is, if you don’t know how to please yourself (quite literally), how can you tell your partner what you like? How can you start that journey towards sexual liberation if you’re not aware of how to get yourself firmly in the mood in the first place?
Men have always been great at self exploration, and don’t need any help in this regard. Yet, for most women, learning the art of getting your hands down there can seem quite disturbing.
Don’t be disturbed, embarrassed, or worried! Learning to turn yourself on is not only liberating but a lot of fun in the process. [Read: Tips to turn him on]
You can try to turn yourself on, but for most of the time, you may just end up feeling lost or even bored after a while, especially at the beginning.
But instead of focusing on turning yourself on or orgasming, if you could just relax and try to have a good time by yourself, you’d be able to see how simple and liberating self help can actually turn out to be.
For the first timers and even the seasoned pros who want to have a great time turning themselves on, here’s a guide on how to turn yourself on, using nothing more than your five senses, and a few add ons that can pleasure you and satisfy you, more than you can imagine.
If this is your first time, try not to stress yourself out. Instead, just give yourself an hour or so of self time and have a great time, all by yourself. [Read: 10 Female masturbation tips for guaranteed orgasmic bliss]
Watching a bit of nudity can be exciting for anyone, be it a man or a woman. Lie down or sit down with your laptop nearby and visit a few of those websites your nanny wouldn’t allow. There are a lot of varieties that can turn on even the most sexless person, so take your time and watch a few “interesting” movies. Don’t focus on turning yourself on right from the start, just watch something that excites you and the rest will flow, erm… follow. [Confession: How erotica saved my sexless marriage]
Lie back or sit down in a comfortable place like your bed or a couch or even a bathtub. Drop your clothes and feel comfortable with your own body. Once you’re feeling relaxed, move your hands softly over your neck, breasts, and any other sensitive areas that make you feel nice. And eventually, place your hands down there and gently run a few circles with your fingers while watching a movie or exploring any other senses.
Lie back and close your eyes while an arousing movie plays in the background. Relax and just listen to the sensual sounds of lovemaking as you move your hands over yourself. The sound of another couple making out can actually be a bigger turn on that most other things, especially if you can let your imagination run wild.
If you feel comfortable with your own voice at this point of time, breathe slowly and deep, letting the air out of your mouth as you move your hands over the sensitive regions on your body. As you breathe harder and deeper, you’d be able to moan easily without really trying. And that always helps in arousing yourself a lot more than you think, because you’d be willing to let go and let your body control you for once. [Read: How to moan and look & sound even more sexy in bed]
Well, learning to explore the sense of taste may make you feel like a fetishist, so we won’t get into the details. But for starters, move your hands all over your body and occasionally place your hands around your lips and let your fingers run around the sensitive areas on your lips. Your lips are full of nerve endings that can heighten the sensual sensation.
If you want to set the mood right, light fragrant incenses close by so you can bathe in the deep, sensual aroma of rich fragrances. If you want to take this a step further, you can also use fragrant massage oils on your hands as you move them all over yourself. Pick the fragrance that creates an atmosphere of sensuality. A few great fragrances that reek of sensuality are leather, musk, lavender, chocolate or even orange blossom. It’ll help you relax and heighten the experience for you. [Read: How to smell good and attract anyone you deeply desire]
While the five senses can create the perfect experience when your hands wander around your body, here are a few more details that can make your experience a lot more memorable and help you to really get into the mood.
Think about everything sensual and sexual. Can you remember those times or moments when you felt really turned on? Do you have a few memories that make the hair on the back of your neck stand with tingling excitement? Remember those sensual thoughts and visualize it, and take it a step further too, just as long as it makes you want to keep your hands down there. [Read: Sexual fantasies for women]
If you’re not particularly aroused by the moan of a couple making love, read about it. Words can spin stories and create visions that can be far more exciting than sounds at times. Read a few sensual stories online or in a book and let your free hand wander along with your imagination.
Dim the lights, turn it off completely or use the warm glow of a small lamp to increase the aura of sensuality. At times, especially at the beginning, you may feel uncomfortable watching your own hands wander over your body as you try to turn yourself on.
By turning off the lights, you can stop worrying about how you look and instead focus all your attention on the sensation of pleasure that you’re experiencing at the moment. [Read: 24 Sex room ideas to make any room look & feel sexy]
Talking on the phone while turning yourself on can be quite exciting. If you feel awkward to let the person on the other end know you’re playing with yourself, you really don’t have to let them know. Just have a normal conversation for a few minutes, and let your hands wander all over yourself while you’re talking. The excitement of turning yourself on secretly while you’re on the phone with your partner can excite you more than you can ever imagine. [Read: Public flashing confessions]
Use these tips on how to turn yourself on, and rest assured, you’ll be able to have a great time with yourself and feel a lot more comfortable at the same time too. When you’re trying to turn yourself on, don’t distract yourself with thoughts that can turn you off. Instead, relax and let yourself go, and you’ll be able to experience a more-than-satisfying experience of self satisfaction.
Yes, some people freak out when the term ‘sex toys’ is uttered but these are far more mainstream these days! You don’t have to go all out before you’re in the mood, but just exploring sex toys and touching them, thinking about using them, may be enough to help you get super-turned on. When learning how to turn yourself on, much of it is about your mind, but visual stimulation really helps too. [Read: 13 Homemade sex toys you have to try: Solo play or with a lover]
It’s true that giving yourself a massage isn’t as enjoyable or as easy as someone else doing it, but you can use massage oils to caress your body and allow your hands to slick and slide with ease. Many people find this extremely sexy and when you add in a spot of imagination at the same time, perhaps imagining your partner’s hands instead of your own, you’ll soon notice how turned on you feel.
What fantasies and kinks have you heard about or read about that you’d like to try for yourself? Why not try and learn more about them and that’s sure to get you in the mood! Again, imagination is key here so when you’re doing your research, try and imagine how it would feel if it were you getting down and dirty in that moment. [Read: 12 Arousing sex fantasies to try in real life]
You’re not going to learn how to turn yourself on very successfully if you don’t feel sexy. That means wearing things that make you feel like a truly sexual being. It can be anything; it doesn’t have to be lingerie, but anything that makes you feel desirable and sexy. Use your favorite body butter on your skin, your favorite scents, moisturizer, and do your hair and makeup in a way that makes you feel confident. When you feel that way, turning yourself on will be much easier.
[Read: 20 Sexy things that turn guys on every single time]
Learning how to turn yourself on with your senses can help you enjoy a personal experience in the best way possible, and without the risk of ever feeling lost or getting bored. After all, how hard can playing with your own senses really be?
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