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Dirty Talking in Bed with Your Partner

Dirty talking in bed can be a huge turn on for couples if done right. But it can also take its toll on the relationship if not kept in check. Read about the sexy side of dirty talking in bed and its ugly side.

talking dirty in bed

Click here to read the introduction on how to talk dirty in bed, along with dirty talk examples and seduction tips on dirty talking in bed.

Dirty talking in bed

Once you’ve learnt about dirty talking in bed in the introduction, you can see that it can have a huge positive effect on your sexual life.

Most couples claim they’re very intimate and loyal to each other.

They say they don’t hide any secrets, and just aren’t attracted to anyone else other than their partner.

[Read: How to be happy in a relationship]

Now maybe some people never get attracted to anyone other than their partner, or perhaps they’ve trained their mind and thoughts to stay away from straying.

But stopping yourself from getting attracted to people of the opposite sex other than your partner is just unhealthy and can be quite boring for the sex life too.

After all, you groom yourself and try to look good to attract attention of the opposite sex. [Read: How to look sexy without trying]

On the other hand, getting attracted to other people of the opposite sex other than your partner, and attracting good looking people of the opposite sex  can boost your confidence and sex appeal, which in turn can make you enjoy a better sexual relationship with your partner.

Where are we going here? Right to the bottom of the point about dirty talking in bed.

The sexy side of dirty talking

Getting attracted to the opposite sex is natural, and not something that you should feel guilty about. When you indulge in dirty talking in bed and fantasizing about each other’s sexual interests, you’re only admitting that you do get attracted to someone of the opposite sex. It’s a lot better than quietly having sex, while your mind’s wandering all over some other person’s naked body.

A lot of couples pretend like fantasizing about someone else or dirty talking in bed about someone’s crush is just terrible and can lead to a break up. But hey, if you can think about having sex with someone in your mind, isn’t that just as wrong? And won’t the guilt just build up over the weeks, months or even years?

Dirty talking in bed about your crush or your partner’s secret sexual crush will help both of you get over the awkwardness of getting attracted to someone else, and will help both of you open up sexually and accept that you can be attracted to someone else. But just because you think it doesn’t mean you have to have sex with anyone you have a crush on, right?

Using the help of dirty talking in bed, you can actually remove the guilt of thinking about someone else, and share your intimate fantasies with your partner, which can be a huge turn on and a intimacy builder. [Read: How to be good in bed all the time]

The ugly side of dirty talking in bed

Yeah, so looks like dirty talking in bed is the sexiest thing on earth, and is all full of benefits and intimacy building. But can it ever go wrong?

Dirty talking in bed has its downsides too. Imagine this scenario.

You lie down in bed. The both of you start necking each other. The moan turns into a low whisper. You can’t understand much but it’s the low voice of your partner that seduces you to listen harder. You get a grip and you listen harder. It all begins to make sense now. You’re being seduced in a mysterious place. Maybe on a beach, while you’re being massaged by a masseur or at a party when you’re drunk.

You wanted to make love passionately with your lover, but somewhere along the way, one of you start dirty talking in bed to the other person, and one thing leads to another.

Very soon, you’ve got your dirty talking taking over you, and you begin to imagine a friend, or a stranger satisfying you more than your partner! [Read: Are you falling in love with someone else?]

Dirty talking in bed always starts off on a low key. Dirty talking in bed about someone else seduces you softly and subtly, and you wouldn’t even realize that you’re being trapped in another world, a world that satisfies you more than your partner at times. It’s a naughty thought that makes you wish it would come true.

But strangely, at the same time you’re afraid to make it a reality. At times, you wouldn’t even need your partner to be around, as long as you have that pleasurable thought about seducing someone else. This is when you get trapped in your own dark world of dirty talking in bed!

Gasp, so dirty talking in bed is bad, right?

Nope, dirty talking is definitely not bad. It’s never bad to indulge in a fantasy or in a role playing game with words. But it’s when you really lose yourself in this dream that things turn from explicit to disturbing!

True, it might be a turn on to imagine the both of you in bed with someone else, and maybe it’s great to imagine watching your sweetheart getting groped by many hands. But come on, now really, would you want to see that in reality? It’s this thought that fluctuates in your mind, every now and then, even as you’re locked in a serpentine coil with your partner.

There is a thin line that can turn that lusty feeling into a really ugly one. At times, a few crude words might slip out, which gets you higher on testosterone. Once your desirous hormones calm down, the haze clears out and your mind snaps back to reality, and the same words hit you like a recoil.

Dirty talking in bed about something taboo

If you’ve spoken about something sexual but taboo at the same time, it might seem like a bit of a shock after you’re packed up with sex.You can’t imagine having indulged in such perverse conversations. You cringe at the thought of something so taboo, or worse, you begin to enjoy the perverse fantasy and can’t get it off your mind.

Now what do you do? [Read: Exhibitionism fantasy – How to get naked in public]

If you liked the perverse thought, you cleverly bring up the same conversation at your next romp. If you’ve hated it, the thought haunts you as you’re passionately having sex with your lover, and you can’t stop thinking about it. What you enjoy talking about  in bed may not really turn on your partner, and may only lead to more frustrations if the line is not drawn.

So no matter how sexy dirty talk can feel while you’re in bed, and no matter how gross or weird you feel after sex, talk about it with your partner. Laugh about something awkward, and tell your partner you don’t like talking about someone if it makes you feel uncomfortable. It keeps things simple and yet, exciting.

It can seem scary, but these are just precautions of dirty talking in bed that we should all be aware of. After all, you can’t just talk about your boyfriend’s brother or father in bed all the time. Likewise, you can’t be talking about having sex with your girlfriend’s sister or her mother just to stay turned on, right?

You may get turned on by them, but it’s always easier to bring in a new person once in a while while dirty talking in bed, so you don’t get hooked on to one thought while talking in bed. [Read: Seven sexiest places to have sex]

Now that you know the sexy sides and bad sides of dirty talking in bed, go on and read about how you can make sure you’re dirty talking in bed the right way, and increasing the intimacy and love in the relationship in bedroom fantasies.

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The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...