Ever wondered why that guy you were texting suddenly ghosted you through text? It might not be your fault. But what if it is?
Guys are into texting as much as girls are. Don’t believe the hype that they don’t like it; just check their inboxes, and you’ll see how wrong those people are.
If that’s the case, then why did the guy you like stop texting you cute emojis and early morning “heys”? Surely it’s not because you sent him a kissy face before you even went out on a date?
Think again, sweetie. There’s a whole list of things that can turn guys off of texting, and that was just one of the big no-no’s.
How do guys see texting
Guys see texting the way you do. They see it as a convenient form of communication, because they’re not bothered by the intricacies of having to face someone just to express something. The only difference is their reactions to how other people text them.
A study was conducted to explore modern-day texting between men and women. The study found that guys don’t like it when they text more than the girl they like, yet they don’t like it when a girl texts too much as well.
It’s strange, but it seems like they just want a balance within the relationship dynamic. They know it’s necessary, but they hardly see it as a social crutch.
The study found that women, on the other hand, find joy in texting frequently and hate it when guys don’t text as much.
So, how can this work if you both want different things? That’s the problem you’re facing, and it can only be solved by texting about it *kidding*.
What kind of texting habits push guys away
Any way you look at it, there will always be an issue between two people who don’t see eye to eye. Whether you’re a girl or a guy, your texting preference will change every now and again. But some things haven’t changed, like the texting habits that guys consider pet peeves. [Read: 11 sexy no-fail ways to text a guy a make him fall for you]
#1 Initiating boring conversations through text. Not exactly scary, but it’s a red flag for guys, because it means that there’s a chance that this is the best type of conversation you can offer. Stop talking about the weather, and start discussing things that you are passionate about.
Don’t waste time texting about trivial things like what you ate, unless you’re really passionate about it.
#2 Texting more than they do. Like we said before, guys don’t like it when girls text too much. Take note that this is not about engaging discussions about your likes and interests. Guys are annoyed by too much texting when it’s about things that don’t matter – like the weather. [Read: 8 little texting mistakes new couples make often]
#3 Not texting as much as they do. The same goes for when guys text you and you barely reply. They see this as a blow to their ego *males, sheesh*, and they take it as a sign that you’re not interested. It affects their self-esteem and gives them a clearer picture of how much you really like them.
#4 Responding with vague answers. When you keep sending strange emojis instead of a “yes” or “no” to a perfectly simple question, this guy might decide to text someone else who knows how to speak the human language. Guys just want a clear-cut answer to their questions and sentiments.
If they say you’re pretty, tell them thank you. If they ask you out, tell them when you’re free. Don’t overcomplicate the simplicity of texting.
#5 Ignoring their compliments. Another thing that guys hate is when you deflect their compliments or affectionate messages. They’re reaching out to you, which means that they’re okay with being vulnerable – even if it’s through texting.
#6 Calling them out for typing something and not sending the message. Have you ever seen those social-media parodies that show photos of a woman freaking out about the three little dots on the text screen? Yeah, don’t do that in real life. It makes you seem uptight and too discerning.
You’re staring at the screen for crying out loud. Who wouldn’t get freaked out by your extreme attention to detail?
#7 Complaining about the “seen receipt” too soon. Aside from watching your partner type, you should probably refrain from putting too much importance on the seen receipt *we’re looking at you, Facebook*. Something could have come up, and the only time you’re allowed to call them out is at least 24 hours after your last text.
#8 Frequently sending missent messages. They know what you’re up to. Nobody is stupid enough to keep sending messages to the wrong number over and over again. They’re going to see it as a cry for attention, and nobody likes that sort of stuff, regardless if they’re a guy you’re seeing or not.
If you’re legitimately confused about who you’re sending your messages to, you better put a bunch of emojis on your date’s name, stat.
#9 Forcing them to reply while at work. The same study we mentioned found that guys hate it when girls text them while they’re at work. It comes out as too much of a distraction, and the only time it’s okay is if he’s not doing anything important, or if your message is urgent in nature.
#10 Using one-word answers like k, cool, and fine. If you thought guys were the only people guilty of this, think again. The numbers wouldn’t lie, and if guys say they hate it, it must mean that there are women who actually do it. Most of the time, this happens when women are mad, because they think it’s the right way to get their point across.
Ladies, take heed of this advice, because passive-aggressive jabs like these only make things worse.
#11 Using sloppy grammar. A lot of guys said that they’re turned off by really bad grammar. The most common mistakes they look at are wrong spelling and confusing contractions like “you’re” and “it’s.” That’s what autocorrect is for, right? Learn it, love it, use it. [Read: 20 flirty ways to text your crush and get them interested]
#12 Using ALL CAPS. As much as we’d hate to admit it, using uppercase letters while texting is now alluded to mothers who just discovered cell phones and people who are shouting. Even if you don’t mean anything by it, using ALL CAPS all the time can bother a guy and for good reason.
Texting is the equivalent of an actual conversation nowadays. How can he read your message when he can’t hear it over your shouting?
So, what does this mean for you
I guess the truth is that you have to control your texting habits and pace yourself according to how your guy perceives texting. It doesn’t mean that you have to automatically concede to them, but it does call for a serious conversation about your communication habits.
It would be inappropriate to broach this topic when you just started dating, but you can still think of it as a learning experience.
If the guy you’re seeing does not meet your need for communication, he may not be what you’re looking for. If, on the other hand, you’re dealing with a boyfriend, you can sit them down so you can discuss the details about how you should communicate with each other.
You can’t expect them to agree with everything that you’re saying, but you can arrive at a compromise that makes you both happy.
Ask them to inform you about significant events, like going out with the boys, or if they’re staying late for work. If you want them to text you every day, you can probably be pacified by a warm greeting when you wake up, as well as an update in the middle of the day and right before they go to bed.
You’ll probably see each other in person anyway, so just enjoy the anticipation. Remember, not texting that much can be good, too, because it makes you miss each other more.
It’s hard to believe that your texting habits might be causing you to lose guys before they get to know you better, but try to put yourself in their shoes. Wouldn’t you get annoyed if they had annoying texting habits like these?
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Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...