When it comes to belligerent sexual tension between you and someone you’re crazy about, you’ve got to keep it in check. Here’s how to handle it.
For whatever reason, you can’t act on the belligerent sexual tension between you and someone you just can’t get enough of. You want them. You want them BAD. But you can’t have them and that means you have to figure out how to handle yourself around them.
Maybe they have a significant other or maybe you do. And if that’s the case, you definitely can’t let anyone see what’s going on between the two of you. But how do you deal with something that feels so obvious to others?
Choosing not to act on sexual tension is sometimes the best choice
For one reason or another, you can’t act on it. That might just be the best choice for you and even for that other person – even if they’d like to act on it. When you have ridiculous sexual tension with someone, it can cloud your rational thinking.
Basically, you may make choices you wouldn’t normally if you let things get too far. That’s the idea with avoiding acting on it. You don’t want to do anything rash. You don’t want to do something you might later regret and so dealing with it is best in that case. [Read: 20 signs you’re in lustful overdrive with sexual tension]
How to deal with belligerent sexual tension when you don’t want to act on it
When the physical chemistry is so strong, it’ll be tough to get past. Here are our best tips for dealing with that sexual tension in a way that’ll keep your mind – and body – cool.
#1 Avoid them. This is really going to help you out the most. If you don’t want to act on it but you can’t help but show the sexual tension between you two, just avoid them altogether.
That way there’s not even a chance that you’ll do anything because of the tension you feel. When you’re not around them, it can also reduce the amount of sexual energy you feel for them when you actually do end up face-to-face with them. [Read: 12 ways to ignore and avoid someone]
#2 Keep the flirting to a minimum. I know it’s hard. When there’s belligerent sexual tension between two people, the flirting happens without either of you being aware of it. That’s a tough thing to keep an eye on when you don’t realize it’s happening.
This will be a major challenge for you but if you don’t want to act on it, it’s essential. Pay attention to what you say, how you respond to certain things, and even your body language. Make sure there’s no flirting at all and you’ll be fine.
#3 Don’t even talk to them. I mean it. Just like avoiding them will help, not talking to them when you can’t get away is really the best option. It’s not like you can’t say hello or anything but don’t spend time chatting.
#4 Don’t tell your friends about it. This will be very hard. When you have sexual tension to that degree, it’s nearly impossible not to tell your friends about it. If anything, they could notice on their own.
Your job is to dissuade them from paying any attention to it. If they know how you feel about that person, they’ll make a point to watch you and them and this could just expose the both of you. So keep it to yourself.
#5 Think of the negative outcomes. It’s always a good idea to keep reminding yourself of why it’s a bad idea. You have a reason for not wanting to get involved with this person. Keep telling yourself what it is.
The more you associate them with a negative emotion, the less you’ll want to talk to them. It’ll help keep you in line whenever you’re forced to interact with them and it could eliminate the problem altogether. [Read: 10 reasons to avoid this type of relationship]
#6 Commit to not acting on it. This is the main thing to think about. Oftentimes, people want help with an issue like belligerent sexual tension but they don’t actually commit to doing anything about it.
They say they don’t want to do anything but in their mind, they think differently. You really have to commit to the fact that you won’t act on it. Tell yourself that under no circumstances will you do anything and you’ll be more likely to follow through.
#7 Never play into their hand. Just because you don’t want to act on it doesn’t mean they feel the same way. In fact, they might even try coaxing you into doing something and if you’re not careful, you might fall for it.
You have to keep an extra eye out for how they act toward you. It’s not enough to just be aware of your own behavior. Pay attention to how they act toward you and make sure you won’t be responding in a way that gives them the green light to keep going.
#8 Don’t bait them. At the same time as you can’t play into their hand, don’t try to get them to do anything. People will sexual tension that’s at the level yours is tend to play games. They try to see who will break first.
You can’t be flirty and suggestive and then get upset when they try to do something. Don’t bait them and you’ll have an easier time dealing with this problem you have. The more you tease them, the harder it’ll be to control yourself. [Read: How to tell if sexual tension is mutual]
#9 Think of your significant other if you have one. Maybe you don’t want to act on this sexual tension because you have a partner already. You’re taken and not single enough to be going around doing stuff with other people.
If that’s the case, then think of your partner. Think of how hurt they would be to see you flirting and getting involved with someone else. Don’t be the selfish one who ends up hurting the other.
#10 Don’t even talk to them online. Just avoiding them in person isn’t always enough. You can have sexual tension through the phone. That means you have to cut off all communication. It’s for the best, really.
The more you talk on the phone or through messenger, the more likely you are to talk to them when you’re in person. The sexual tension can even grow the more you talk even if you’re not face-to-face. So don’t engage with them in any way and you’ll be better off.
Dealing with belligerent sexual tension isn’t easy. It can be a real pain to get through, especially if you decide not to put any action into those feelings. These tips will help you survive it intact.
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Bella is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog, p...