When the sparks are flying and you can’t separate yourselves from each other, the culprit could be sexual tension: but what, exactly, are the signs?
Sexual tension, it is worth pointing out, is not the same as sexual attraction. Sexual attraction is quite a transient and fickle experience, and can change at whim. Sexual tension develops in a situation where sexual attraction has no opportunity to find an outlet: maybe because the object of your attractions is already attached, maybe because you’re attached, maybe because they’re your work colleague or some other figure whom it is considered socially unacceptable to get quite so close to.
Sometimes, it might be due to something as innocent as one of the pair feeling inadequate or lacking the belief in themselves to risk taking things further. The problem is, much like a fit of the giggles, the more you try to suppress your sexual attraction to someone, the worse it gets! [Read: 13 lusty signs of sexual attraction that build up to sexual tension]
The secret signs of sexual tension that just can’t be suppressed
This is the point at which sexual tension occurs and, although both parties may be trying their best to ensure that each other and the rest of the world remains unaware of what’s going on beneath their calm exteriors, it always leaves tell-tale signs in its wake. Just a few of these sexual tension signs are explained in the following list.
#1 It’s mutual. Sexual tension should always be a mutual thing. If it’s just one of you, then it’s a different thing altogether – obsession maybe in its worst guise. And if you’re the one who’s on their own in feeling that tension, then you’d better deal with it before you cause yourself emotional harm and/or get a criminal record for stalking. [Read: Is it just a big crush or are you experiencing limerence?]
#2 Eye contact. Long lingering eye contact, and being unable to take your eyes off each other wherever you are in the room, is a definite sign of sexual tension. It’s all in the eyes, guys.
#3 Electric shocks. Every time you bump into each other, or otherwise innocently have body contact, you get a jolt of sexual electricity that nearly blows your genitals off. Another sure sign.
#4 Body talk. Body language is another sure-fire giveaway. Constantly leaning towards each other, feet pointing towards each other when sat, always reaching out and lightly touching each other when there’s no real reason to – all body language giveaways. [Read: 10 ways to build sizzling sexual tension the flirty way]
#5 Dirty talk. Does your conversation constantly slip into the gutter without any real provocation. Flirty and dirty talk is telling you something that you already, at heart, plainly know.
#6 Rich tones. A really interesting giveaway is how sexual attraction and tension changes people’s vocal tones. Guy’s voices become deeper and richer; women’s become softer, gentler and sometimes huskier.
#7 Stand together. Where sexual tension exists, it’s like watching a pair of magnets: the offending couple just can’t keep away from each other. Even if they’re otherwise occupied, the space between them just somehow seems to slip away. [Read: The art of flirting by discreet touch and arousing someone]
#8 Instant arousal. An obvious one but, depending upon your gender, if you find yourself busting your flies, or sliding off your seat every time THAT other person walks into the room, then sexual tension is in absolute command.
#9 Excuses to be alone. Have you taken up smoking just to be able to go on a smoke break with that other person? An extreme example, but making the point that where sexual tension exists, excuses will always be found to be alone together.
#11 Catching a gaze. Do you find that each of you are always finding an excuse to get in each other’s eyeline, fabricating excuses to solicit appreciation of each other? Another sure sign.
#12 Just a distraction. People who are suffering from sexual tension find everyone else insufferable. An annoying distraction from the overwhelming desire they’re feeling.
#13 A downwards gaze. It’s not just eye contact that belies sexual tension, but also an inability to drag the eyes from the more gender specific aspects of the other’s physiology. A constant dropping of the eyes to lips, breasts, chest, arms, butt and the more discreet parts of the body are another sign. [Read: 18 physical turn ons for guys they just can’t resist]
#14 Mirroring. A strange aspect of sexual tension is that the suffering parties tend to mirror each other’s actions. One stands the other stands, one tilts the head the other tilts, one turns in a certain direction and so does the other, etc. [Read: 28 turn ons for women that’ll leave them melting in your arms]
#15 All stored away. An apparent, but effortless, ability to memorize every minute detail about the other person’s private life is another sign of sexual tension. A subconscious need to say the right thing at the right time should an opportunity arise in which the tension might be taken to the next level.
#17 Not your type. If the person you are experiencing this phenomenon with really isn’t your usual physical type, but you still turn into a sexually frustrated mess every time you see them, then this is a definite sign that you are experiencing an intense sexual attraction with a perfect chemical match.
#18 Trying too hard. If one of you tries a little too hard to snub the other, then this is a sign that your mental faculties are in extreme conflict with strong sexual desires. A battle between big brain and little brain!
#20 Lingering on. Whatever the situation you are in with that other person, whether social, work or other, do you find yourself making excuses to stay around a little longer than you normally would? Another sure and certain sign of sexual tension.
If any of the signs of sexual tension mentioned above are evident between you and another, then it looks like you’ve found your perfect chemical match. And since the fuse is already lit, you might as well enjoy the fireworks!
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David Cullen is frequently described as erudite, insightful and witty – but only by himself and only after several large glasses of Rioja....